Rock My World

“She isn’t how she used to be with work. She was always there before, but is that to do with you? I guess I just assumed that she had found something else to channel her energy into.”

“Hmm, yeah maybe you’re right. That might be it.”

“She’ll talk to you when she’s ready. You know how Addison is.”

“Yeah, that’s true. I just need to be patient.” I sigh loudly, knowing how hard that is going to be for me… but then it isn’t about me so what can I do? “Wait until she’s ready. That should be simple enough.”

“I guess that isn’t your strong point?” Luci chuckles teasingly. It’s nice to have her mock me, it means we’re heading into a new place where anything can happen.

I shake my head no. “It isn’t, but I’m willing to give it a try.”

“That’s all you can do.”

We finish our coffees and eventually exit the café, a new understanding between us. I don’t know what Luci and I will be from here on out, but at least we no longer need to avoid one another. We can spend time together. She hasn’t said much about it, but I know that Addie will be happy this happened.

I head to her work, a giant grin on my face, and I step inside to find her, but Luke catches me right away and tells me that Addie went home sick earlier today which zaps away my positive mood. She’s sick and she didn’t tell me? I know it was my first day at work which she probably didn’t want to get in the way of, but still… I don’t like the idea of her home alone throwing up. I don’t know what’s the matter with her so I rush to her apartment to find out. My heart races, my stomach churns, worry becomes all of me.

33

ADDISON

T he ice cold of the bathroom floor bursts through my underwear and leaves my butt freezing, but I don’t move. I can’t. I’m in too much of a state. I just cannot believe what I’m seeing, I’m stunned to the core. Feeling sick earlier today was bad enough, heading to the pharmacy and grabbing everything I might possibly need sucked, but this… this is something else. It’s unbelievable.

“This was only supposed to rule out the doubt,” I moan. “I wasn’t supposed to get this. A blue cross that changes everything.” I clap my hand to my hot, aching forehead. “What am I going to do?”

I don’t even know what made me pick up the pregnancy test, I just did it on impulse. Admittedly, in the heat of the moment, Jace and I haven’t always been safe, but I still didn’t think I would have this to deal with. I mean, Jace and I are only just in a good place. We’ve finally worked out how to be together in a healthy, positive way, and he’s just got himself a new job which I really hope he likes. Yes, my career isn’t exactly where I want it to be these days, I’m not fully content there, but everything else is so incredible that it doesn’t matter.

But this curve ball could destroy us again. An unexpected baby is a pressure for anyone, never mind Jace and I who have been through enough already. I don’t know how he’s going to take this.

Despite all of that, I grab my belly and glow inside. I can’t help feeling a rush of love for the baby growing inside of me. It might not be planned or anything, and it certainly might be too soon, but it’s a baby born out of love. Jace and I do have a lot of love for one another, and our baby is created from that. I have a piece of the man that I love inside of me which is incredible. I’m definitely happy about that.

“What am I going to do?” I ask myself quietly. “What is going to happen now?”

I can’t imagine that Jace would walk out on me again, he isn’t that sort of man, but it’s still terrifying. Everything is going to change yet again. For six long years, my life was the same, it was predictable and easy to manage, but now it’s all over the place. I can’t seem to keep track of it, no matter what I do. Every time I wrap my head around where everything is now, something changes up again. It isn’t bad but it’s scary.

“I need to… to call Jace.” I stagger to my feet. “He should be finished with work now. I need to tell him…”

I stagger in to the living room and scrabble around for my cell phone. My thoughts

zig zag all over the place as I do, I can barely even think straight. I just need him here to calm me down…

“Oh!” The door swings open and in he comes, worry plastered across his face. “Jace…”

“Are you okay?” he gushes. “I went to your work and they said you were sick…”

His eyes fall down and he spots the white plastic stick in my hand. It takes him a couple of minutes to realize what it is, but as soon as he does, his eyes widen in surprise.

“Is that…?” He points, his hand shaking. “Is it positive?”

“It is.” I nod and gulp. Somehow, telling Jace has made him feel a million times worse.

“We’re…” He grabs his mouth hard. “We’re having a baby.”

“I know. It’s too soon, isn’t it? This shouldn’t be happening, what are we going to do?”

“What do you mean?” He steps closer, closing the gap between us. “This is good news.”

“You aren’t scared?” I search his face for fear but I don’t seem to find it. Maybe it’s just me.