“What effect? What are you talking about? You don’t need to turn this into a bad thing.”
“The effect you have on men. Come on, Jodi. It’s constant trouble.”
“No, that was one thing, and it was his fault, not mine. Why do I keep having to repeat this?”
“I’m sorry. I know it was his fault. I just don’t see it working out as you think. I reckon you will be the woman to tame Big Bad Brock, and he’ll fall in love with you. I don’t know if you’ll love him though.”
I shiver as I remember all the snatched kisses we share in the office when we’re pretty sure no one is looking, the danger that they might be turning us both on. The late nights we share together fucking over his desk. I haven’t ever had so many orgasms in quick succession. He really knows my body well already. And we’ve been trying all sorts of new things, positions I wouldn’t have even considered. It’s been a real journey.
“It’s just fun, honestly, just the both of us blowing off steam, and I like it. It’s been the best couple of weeks ever. I needed it. It’s been far too long since I had such a good time with someone.”
“I just want you to be careful, that’s all. I don’t want you to end up in trouble.” She nods toward my phone. “That isn’t him now, is it? Messaging you so obsessively? Because that’s worrying. So early on . . .”
“No, it isn’t him. He isn’t like that. We barely message at all. It isn’t a relationship.”
“It’s not Thomas, is it?” Her spine stiffens as she talks about him. “It better not be, I swear to God.”
“It isn’t Thomas. That restraining order isn’t ever running out, you know that. He might be a crazy fucker, but I know for sure that he cares too much about his reputation to risk jail. He’s done with me.”
She snatches up the phone and runs her eyes over the messages, disappointment growing with each one. Jodi, please help me. I’ve gotten myself into a mess again. I need you. Jodi, why are you ignoring me? Can’t you see how desperate I am? Jodi, you’re the only person I can trust. Don’t do this to me, I need you.
I hang my eyes low. “Yeah. I already know. You don’t need to lecture me. I know what you’re going to say.”
“Lucas, again? I know he’s your ex and you feel sorry for him, but he isn’t your responsibility.”
“I don’t just feel sorry for him . . . I understand him. We’re both damaged people.”
“No, you’ve both been through hard times, but you’ve come out of it a stronger, better person who’s independent and gets a job to stand on her own two feet, and he gambles his life away.”
“Both his parents were killed in a robbery that went wrong. He’s damaged. He needs someone to help him.”
“But you were only with him for a couple of months. Why is he relying on you?”
“Because all his friends have turned their backs on him. No one understands him like I do.”
“Because there isn’t anything to understand. Not when he won’t help himself.”
“He doesn’t know how!” I throw my hands in the air in frustra
tion. “He’s lost. That’s all.”
“No, he just gambles everything because he knows he can come to you. You can’t afford to keep him when you can barely keep yourself. If it wasn’t for him and his issues, you would have been in your own place a lot sooner. I didn’t mind having you around, you know that, but you weren’t there just because you were deciding whether to stay or not. It was because you kept lending him cash that you didn’t get back.”
“I just . . . I don’t want him to end up in trouble. He does get himself into messes, but if he can’t get out of them, what will he do? He’ll end up dead or with broken kneecaps or something. I can’t let that happen.”
“That’s not your responsibility. It isn’t up to you to keep him out of trouble.”
I purse my lips, knowing she’s right. But also, poor Lucas. If I close my eyes now, I can just see his beaten, bruised body in a ditch where some gambling thugs have left him for dead.
“I’m messaging him back,” Millie tells me decidedly, “telling him to leave you alone.”
“No, don’t do that. I don’t know what he’ll end up doing to himself.”
“That will be on my shoulders, not yours. You don’t even need to worry about it.”
“But I will. You know I will. I’ll blame myself. He really doesn’t have anyone else.”
“He should move. It’s quite simple. Las Vegas isn’t the place for a gambling addict to live.”