“I’m sorry.” It was the most unexpected phrase to come from his mouth. “I wish I could tell you that they made it quick, but I can’t. When it comes to these wars, men are never merciful. But he’s not in pain anymore…and hopefully that gives you comfort.”
I hadn’t expected any softness from him, not ever again. “Your father left you?” When I read about him, I only found information about his mother. It didn’t seem like a father had ever been in the picture.
“I was five. Bates was three.”
“I’m sorry.”
“Don’t be. My mother did just fine on her own.” There was pride in his voice, obvious respect for the woman who raised him. “My hatred stems from my loyalty to my mother. I hate him for abandoning her when she needed him most. That was a pussy thing to do.”
“And you don’t want to be like that.” I wiped my tears away and turned back to him. His arms were on the armrests as he looked out over his property. Handsome as ever, he sat on the chair like it was a throne.
“No,” he whispered. “I’m not a coward.”
The door opened, and Giovanni appeared with the dinner he’d tried to give me earlier. “I hope your appetite has returned, Miss Siena?”
Cato stared straight ahead.
I had no appetite at all, but Cato had just given me kindness—and I would reciprocate. “It has. Thank you.”
Giovanni placed the tray in my lap before he left.
I took small bites of my food to make Cato happy.
He didn’t look at me. “Thank you.”
“See?” I teased. “You can treat people like human beings.”
He shrugged. “Sometimes.”
Tears were still hot behind my eyes, but they slowly retreated the longer I sat with him. “I know you don’t believe me, but I really did turn around for you, Cato. I wanted to save my father, but in the end, I knew I couldn’t do that to you.”
“It doesn’t change everything prior to that.” He brought his hands together again. “It doesn’t change the fact that nothing about us was ever real. It was all a setup. You were in the right place at the right time on purpose. Your job was to gain my trust just enough to put me in harm’s way. I know nothing about you, Siena.” He turned to me, defeat in his eyes. “I knew you were his daughter weeks ago. But I gave you the benefit of the doubt. Maybe you really did just want to start over. Maybe you really were harmless. I don’t know what it is about you…but it makes me so soft. I hate it.”
“Everything I said about myself was true. The only part that was a lie…was meeting you. Yes, my goal was to make you remember me. My goal was to get into your bed and gain your confidence. But everything in between that…all me. I couldn’t make you have a connection with me. I couldn’t make you forget about other women…that just happened on its own. That was real—that was us.”
He faced forward again, his expression masked by indifference. “It’s strange. I don’t trust anyone. I trust women least of all…but I trusted you.”
“Because I was honest with you. When I said I wanted a simple life, I meant it. My father is dead because all he cared about was money. My mother is dead because of it too. It’s only a matter of time before my brother follows suit. I really enjoy artwork. I enjoy wine. And I enjoy you…”
He wouldn’t look at me again.
“I miss you.”
His jaw started to clench, like I’d said the wrong thing. “I don’t miss you. How can I miss something I never had?”
“You did have me. You could still have me.”
“Really? Or is that another ploy? Will you fuck me to save your life?” His eyes landed on mine, and they burned me from the inside out.
“I’ll fuck you because you’re the man I want to fuck. You’re the best I’ve ever had, the only man who’s ever really made me feel like a woman. I’ll fuck you because your smile makes me melt and your body keeps me warm. You’ve already made your decision, and I’m sure you’ll see it through. Doesn’t mean I don’t want you in the meantime.”
His gaze hardened just like his jaw. “I don’t trust you, Siena. I will never trust you again.”
“I’m not asking you to trust me.”
“And I’ll never want you again.”
His words shouldn’t hurt me since I planned to escape, but they did. They hurt me more than I expected. “Then why are you sitting with me right now? Why are you comforting me?”
He faced forward again and didn’t give an answer.
I knew it was because he didn’t have an answer. “I turned around, Cato. I turned around because I didn’t want to hurt you. Maybe my intentions were wrong in the beginning, but they were right at the end. You can’t judge me for wanting to save the only parent I had left. You can’t judge me for trying to save my family. It’s not right—and you’re being stubborn.”