“No. You’re as sober as I am and that’s sober enough. What were you going to say just now?”
I stopped in front of the elevator and looked at Henry.
“Come on, man. Don’t be like this.”
“Tell me what you meant.”
“You know how chicks are when you’ve got money.”
“That’s what I thought you were going to say.” I pressed the down button.
“It’s not a bad thing, Lucas. What are you getting so upset about?”
I wasn’t sure what I was upset. My whole life I was careful everyone knew how much money my family had. I drove slick cars. No one could touch my wardrobe. I had one of a kind gadgets, the newest of everything and I flaunted it just like Rachael did in those thigh high heeled boots.
But I got mad at anyone who paid attention to the things I had. They were not jealous of me but they were jealous of the things I had. There is a difference. No one wanted to be me. They just wanted to be in my place. The thought made me feel very alone like a man in the desert at night when there are no lights for miles except for the millions of stars in the sky staring down to make him feel terribly small and alone. I needed another drink. I hated what I was feeling.
“Come on, Henry. I’ll take you home.” I huffed.
“Home? Lucas, it’s only about one o’clock. There’s still a lot of action out there.” Henry insisted.
“No thanks. I’m calling it a night.”
“Well, drop me back off at Foxes.” He grumbled. “I’ll stay with my uncle if I can’t get a lift.”
I did just that.
“You’re going to wish you let Susan suck you off as soon as you hit I-294. I just know it. Enjoy your blue balls for Christmas.”
“Her name was Rachael.” I corrected.
“Whatever, man. Just remember she was ready and willing. You aren’t going to get that chance again in a long time if ever. It’s not like girls are just going ot hop in your car to have sex with you.”
Henry got out of the car and slammed the door.
That was all I needed to hear to bring the image of Tilly in the throws of passion in to perfectly clear focus. Why didn’t I go to her house again?
Because you’re too much of a snob and you think you are too good for her. Or maybe your afraid that she’s too good for you? Instead you spent the night watching your best friend get a blowjob. How low can you sink, Lucas?
Henry was right about one thing. When he his I-294 he did think of all those dirty bits but Rachael was nowhere to be seen. Instead, he wondered what Tilly was doing and if he had gone to her house would they have found a way to sneak off together to make love. Would she have wanted to?
If you would have shown up there you can bet your ass she would have found a way. She likes you. Or at least,
she did like you. You kind of blew that with your lousy attitude. Nice going genius.
I couldn’t get a break. Henry didn’t understand. I couldn’t find the words around Tilly. I didn’t even understand myself what was happening.
I sped home down a virtually empty expressway. I had driven the route so many times before it was like I was on autopilot.
Henry and I had come downtown for years, sneaking into bars where I usually bribed the bouncers. I did it. I always had the cash. I don’t think I could even recall Henry offering to pay.
The bar tabs were almost always over a thousand dollars that I paid for in cash. We had women all over us and when they saw bottles of Cristal they swooned. Not because they knew what it was but because they knew it was expensive from seeing it in the movies. It was a rare occasion when Henry and I didn’t leave each with a girl on our arm that we fucked in the alley. Once we were done with them
They’d follow us back into the bar where we’d totally ignore them and start chatting up another set of girls. It was like a revolving door. I didn’t take a single one seriously because I knew they were all after my money.
“Any girl that goes along with everything you say is after your money.” Henry said. “Wouldn’t it be nice to find a girl who fights back a little.”
How long ago had Henry said that to me? It felt like years. Millennia even. But he was right. It was the girl that would fight back and argue that was the keeper.