As I move back towards my bedroom door I pause for just a moment. I need to give Ben just a second to really think this through before he does anything rash. I haven’t agreed to his plan, but he might be regretting it already. I need him to work out how he’s feeling before I can decide how I feel about it all. It is his house.
I count to three in my mind before I push the door open. Fear swirls around inside of me as I do, but I try not to let that show on my face. I keep the smile there as I look at him. “Everything alright, Ben?”
He gives me this intense look but he doesn’t look like he regrets anything. He actually looks like he might be excited. “I’m good. Let’s get going, shall we? I’m looking forward to you seeing my place.”
Once we both reach my apartment door, Ben reaches his hand down to grab mine. As his fingers interlock with mine my heart races. This is too much, I’m sure it’s happening too quickly, but I love it. It’s like a whirlwind, a speedy heady rush, it’s how I imagine love is supposed to be. This is how it is, isn’t it? I’m sure this is how people describe it.
God it feels good. So good I want to explode.
We walk outside like that, and I’m sure everyone is staring at us. I don’t take my eyes off of Ben much, but I can feel the jealous prickles racing all over my skin. I’m usually the jealous one, on the outside looking in. I’ve never been in the middle of a couple before and it feels awesome. I love that sensation almost as much as I like Ben.
This is it, I think with utter certainty this time. This is definitely the moment that my real life begins. I can’t believe it, I’m so damn happy I could cry!
There’s nearly a skip in my step. I feel like all the problems have been lifted from my shoulders and that I could fly. Ben just has this weird way of making everything seem okay. I could fall in love with him given half the chance, I just know it.
“It’s quite a walk,” he tells me. “I can call a car if you like.”
“How far is it?” I don’t mind the walk, but I also quite like the idea of him calling a car. I’ve just never had that privilege before. “How long would it take us?”
He pulls out his cell phone. “I’ll call us a car.”
We wait impatiently on the side of the road while the car comes to pick us up. I can barely keep my feet st
ill, I keep bouncing about like a bunny. There’s an ache in the balls of my feet and in my ankles from the long night shifts at CeeLow, but the pain isn’t bothering me as much as it probably should be.
Eventually a black town car with tinted windows turns up. It’s intimidating looking, not the sort of car that I would ever associate with me. Or Ben for that matter, it’s more the kind of vehicle that I would link to organised crime. But when Ben indicates for me to get inside I know that it’s for us.
“Oh my goodness.” Even the car is luxurious. “This is something else.”
“Oh it’s okay. My limo is better stocked, but yeah it’ll do.” Ben gives me a cheeky smile and hands me a bottle of water. I suck it back like there’s no tomorrow as the realisation of just how thirsty I am hits me. “Anyway, it won’t be long until we get to mine now, it isn’t really that far at all.”
I watch out the windows as the houses start getting nicer and nicer. It isn’t long before the sort of place that I live in looks like a shit hole compared to these places, but we’re still going. They get bigger and better and my jealous heart soars. I want one of these places to be mine, they’re just so beautiful...
“Oh my God.” When we eventually stop it’s outside a home that’s nearly mansion like. It certainly is the biggest place I’ve ever seen in the city. I press my hands up against the window and move my face nearer so I can drink it in. “Is this place yours?”
“Yep. All mine. The town house is one of my earliest purchases when I started making it big... closely followed by the house I bought for my mother, but that’s on the outskirts of the city. She wanted to stay near her friends...” He trails off when he realises that he’s gotten off track. “Anyway, shall we go inside?”
I let him lead the way, still looking up at what Ben referred to as a town house. I’m sure this is too big to be classed as a town house. It’s ridiculous. I love it. When we walk inside, I’m even more blown away. It’s modern, sleek, set out in a really nice inviting way. There isn’t a woman’s touch to be seen, but I’m glad about that. It’d be weird to live where another woman has been before. Not that I’ve made my mind up yet.
“Okay so this is the living room...” A room with a giant TV and a comfortable looking couch lies in front of me. I spot some fancy art work on the walls, but I don’t get long enough to properly look at it. “...and the kitchen...” Of course he has every cooking appliance known to a man. I’m pretty sure I even see an electric sushi maker. “...there’s a bathroom down there and a utility room, plus the games room.” Then he takes me up the stairs. “I have my office there, there’s a bedroom there and another one there, possibly two...” These spare bedrooms are bigger than my whole apartment. “And my room is up on another floor. You take whatever room here you want, but if you want to see my room it’s up there.”
I follow him around the house in a state of shock. This is something we could probably actually do without it being too strange or complex. This house is so damn massive it’s ridiculous. We could both live here and keep a distance. It would be a way for us to work out what’s going on between us without having to involve the club anymore, and like Ben said I wouldn’t even need to work there. I could use the time to get back on my feet. I could decide what I want to do with my life it wouldn’t even need to be a permanent thing.
“This is a lovely home,” I rasp, needing to say something. “You have such a nice place.”
Ben moves forward and he takes my hands in his. “Serena, you can see now how we can make this work, can’t you? You can see what I see. There’s plenty of room for both of us, no need for us to get under each other’s feet and we can continue to get to know one another.”
“I have to admit,” I reply with a smile. “At first I thought you were absolutely insane, but maybe now I think different. If you’re absolutely sure this is what you want then maybe we can give it a try. When Jenny goes on her cruise, we can try it as a temporary thing.”
Ben’s face bursts into a bright grin. “That’s amazing news. I cannot wait.”
I’m shocked to see him like this, I never thought he would let me in, but he’s embracing me. He wants me, he wants to open up to me, this feels amazing. He must really like me, maybe even as much as I like him. I’ve got to be the luckiest woman alive.
“Now I think we should both celebrate with a shower, don’t you?”
“What do you mean?” I tease. “Are you trying to say that I smell?”
“Well yeah,” he chuckles at his own joke. “But not just that. I have the most amazing wet room that has more than enough room for two. I haven’t had chance to experiment with another person before and I’d like you to be my first.”