“Wait, what? I thought you flew in a private jet,” she said confused.
“I did, but I left Nathan, and I want to get home,” I replied, a lump forming in my throat.
“Okay, okay, calm down,” she said. “What happened?”
“Everything was perfect, and then he had a work thing he took me to,” I explained. “It was this building where the people out here work. It was an outsourcing building with the nets and everything on the outside.”
“Oh, God,” she said.
“He never told me anything about this,” I said. “He knew how passionate I was for people and not only did he show me he never cared about the morality of his company, he brought me halfway around the world to shove my nose in it.”
“Ruby,” she said calmly. “I don’t think he meant to hurt you.”
“Well, he did,” I said.
“Look, I have never heard you talk about a man like you do Nathan,” she said. “You can’t end this over something like outsourcing. You may never find another man you feel that way for.”
“Then I’ll die alone an old spinster,” I said. “I am not going to budge on how I feel about this issue.”
“I think you are making a mistake,” she sighed. “But I love you, and I support whatever decision you make.”
“Thank you,” I said breathing deeply. “My flights about to board. I’ll call you when I get back.”
“Okay, be safe,” she said before hanging up.
I waited in line to get on the plane, drying my tears and sucking it up. I needed to hold it together, even though it was a shock I did not see coming at all. I still could not understand how a man like Nathan could consider implementing something like that. I boarded and stowed my carry on, taking my window seat. I buckled my seatbelt and waited for takeoff, staring out the window at the passing planes. I wanted this whole thing to be over with.
After the plane took off I pulled my bag out from under my seat and rifled through it, finding my sleeping pills I had brought just in case. I took two of them and waited, knowing it would be a good hour before they kicked in. The flight attendant offered me a drink, noticing how upset I was, but I declined gracefully, knowing alcohol wasn’t going to help me at all in my situation. I pressed my forehead against the window, watching the clouds pass by as the plane headed back home. That had been the worst and shortest vacation I had ever taken, and I was starting to regret everything I had said and done. After a while, my eyes began to get heavy, and I drifted off to sleep, hoping that I would get through the flight without breaking down in tears.
When I woke up, the sun was shining directly in my eyes, and I realized I had been asleep for over half of the flight. Good thing, since when I woke up my heart was aching, and I didn’t feel better in the least. I ate the airplane food and put my headphones in, staring blankly at the movies that streamed across the screen overhead. I started to feel numb, and I was okay with that. I had never had a broken heart before, and I already could tell that it was going to suck.
By the time we landed back in New York, I was ready to get home to my house, take a shower, and turn on the television in my bed. I was hoping I could sleep the weekend away, not wanting to feel what I knew was coming. The airport was busy as usual, and it took me a while to retrieve my luggage, get through customs and immigration, and find a cab. It was raining in New York which fit my mood perfectly. The cabbie asked if he could help me inside but I smiled as best I could and thanked him, carrying my own bags up the steps. I opened the front door and walked inside, holding my bags in my hands and looking around the silent house. I stood there for several moments, not wanting to feel anything. I couldn’t believe I had let myself fall for him without finding out the true Nathan hiding deep inside.
The house was empty, and I could feel it echoing through my chest. I took two steps forward and stopped, hearing a knock on the door behind me. I sighed and set my bags down, hoping it wasn’t the cab driver still wanting to be helpful. I walked over and flung the door open my face ready to burst into tears any second. I started at his feet and looked slowly up the designer pants and perfectly pressed button-down shirt. Standing in my doorway with a look of need was Nathan, and I didn’t know how to compute that in my brain.
I had taken longer to get back because I took a commercial flight, and he must have gone straight to the jet and come home. I glanced behind him at the car sitting out front and wondered how long he h
ad been waiting there. I looked back in his face and didn’t know what to say, there were no words. Yes, I was angry at him for considering outsourcing, but I was even more upset that he hadn’t been truthful to me about what his vision for the future of his company was. I held my beliefs and morals in very high regard, and though many people would say that was stupid, or that I was going to miss out on things for taking them so seriously, my feelings on how people are treated are the basis of who I was. By then, Nathan was sure to have known that.
Everything I had done in my life was centered around helping others whether it was through direct contact or holding a sign and marching down the street. I didn’t work for corporate America, so no I wasn’t going to lose my job to outsourcing, but I was going to be affected by the economic effect it had. I would be affected by the people that lived in poverty around me, and I would be affected by the fact that my life was controlled by some greedy man in a big office somewhere. I had thought Nathan was different. I thought he was a man that I could look to and be proud to have at my side. How was I so desperately wrong about everything?
I stood there in the hallway, tears welling up in my eyes, staring at him standing in the doorway. I couldn’t move or speak and had no idea how I was supposed to even hear what he had to say. I had protected myself for so long, and in the blink of an eye, I screwed it all up by falling in love with someone that I didn’t even feel like I knew anymore. I didn’t know what to do.
Chapter Nineteen
Nathan
When she left, I knew that I needed to give her time to calm down, so I waited until she had collected her things from the penthouse, and then gathered my stuff. I could tell, as soon as Chris saw how upset I was, he felt awful. I wasn’t going to beat him up, he wasn’t the one who was truly at fault. If I hadn’t lied to her in the first place, none of it would be an issue. Chris had the plane chartered and ready to go by the time we got there, and we took off within minutes. I knew I would have about an hour on her, even though we had to stop before leaving and finish fueling. Either way, I figured I would get to her house around the same time she did. I knew she didn’t want to talk to me, but I was panicking. I couldn’t let Ruby go, especially not over something like that.
I spent the entire plane ride staring out the window, watching the day turn into night, and back into day. My head was spinning through everything I wanted to say to Ruby, concocting the perfect speech, and knowing how I needed to handle it. All the preparation in the world was not going to help me get through the wall I instantly saw come up when she realized why we were in India in the first place. It was a bit of a surprise to me that she acted so passionately, but that was Ruby, a passionate woman that stood up for what she believed up no matter who she was facing.
When we landed, I jumped in the car and headed straight over to Ruby’s house. That was where I was standing at that moment, in her doorway, staring at her as she stared back at me. She looked utterly distraught, totally heartbroken, and pissed as hell. I guess the nineteen-hour trip back wasn’t as calming as I hoped it would be. I suppose if I had to spend that much time on a commercial flight in coach I’d probably be agitated too. I needed to start talking, and hope that she listened to what I had to say.
I stepped forward into the house and closed the door behind me. I looked at Ruby standing there in the hall, and I just wanted to put my arms around her. However, with the look on her face, I had stepped as far as I was going to get into the house.
“Ruby,” I said putting my hands up. “I want to explain. Let me explain.”
“Fine,” she said crossing her arms. “Talk.”