The One who got Away

Darren purposely looked away with a bashful facial expression then finally turned back to his brother. “Look, man, I’ve turned a new leaf. I’m a lot more focused here than I was back in Chicago. Really, I am. Plus, I got Mom and Dad calling me about doing this and that, and you know how that can be.”

“Hmm, hmm,” John said. “I want a number.”

“Dude, it’s not about the number,” Darren said, knowing that he’d already had a few one-night stands. “What matters is that I just don’t know how I feel about getting married and all that. I just don’t.” He held his hands up. “Just seems like there is a lot to lose. I know Mom talks all this stuff about having someone to leave my assets to and all that, but still gotta consider a lot of things. I feel the pressure, dude. I really do. You got married in your twenties, but you don’t know what it’s like to have people starting to look at you funny as you get older and still don’t have a wife or some kids. You know, when I was younger and used to hear about that kind of stuff or see it on TV or whatever, I really didn’t think much about it. Now that I’m older, though, I really see what they’re talking about.”

John’s head shook as he chuckl

ed. “Man, you just have to meet the right one. I have faith in you.”

Darren scuffed. “Yeah...right. But I do want kids, honestly. Not gonna deny that.”

John’s eyes bulged. He set his wine glass down on the table. “You, Darren? You want children?”

“Yeah, of course,” Darren said, as if such were obvious. “You know I love kids. Hell yeah, I would like to have some kids. Two at least….maybe three if everything is right. I’m just not sure about the marriage part. I don’t want to lose everything or wind up in some horrible situation where the woman can basically try to control me through the courts. You know I don’t like being told what to do.”

“Oh, I know,” John said, quickly thinking back to his brother’s spats with their parents when they were kids. “And yeah, man...kids are great. You just gotta make sure that you have them with the right person or else everything can turn into a hellhole before you know it.”

“Exactly,” Darren said. “Seems to be a lot of shit shows going on nowadays...with the courts helping to pile on even more.”

John laughed again. “Well, man, maybe you just need to be one of those people who adopts a child without even being married or anything if it really means that much to you.”

“Awe, man, cut it out,” Darren said, shaking his head. “You know they’re probably not going to let some single, unmarried guy adopt a baby. People would probably be looking at me like I’m some creep or something. Having a kid now would be nice. I feel like I’m ready for it...and honestly, raising one in a place like this would probably be a lot easier and better than in Chicago.” He shrugged.

“Yeah,” John said. “But dude, I’m telling you, you could do something like that. And, you know, we have the resources. I’m sure Mom or Dad could easily help pull a few strings and get something like that moving along. You remember that story about that guy in Wisconsin who adopted twin girls, I think…. Dude, you could make it a story and really help your name...especially in a place like this. People would be calling you a hero, especially if you got some baby with some ole sob story that will make people tear up and stuff.”

As Darren prepared to respond, the waitress approached the table with a fresh bottle of wine then asked if they wanted to order food. John glanced at the menu then gave his order. Darren found himself staring off toward the front of the winery, out of the window and at Calhoun Street. A guy, who looked to be about forty years old and slightly balding, pulled a little boy down the street. The boy, who looked to be no more than three years-old, tugged his father’s hand hard enough to make the man stop and turn around. He pointed up toward something, stealing the father’s attention. Whatever it was the little boy pointed at, Darren couldn’t see; however, what Darren did see was not only a guy like himself taking care of a child, but also how the guy was investing in someone to leave whatever he built while living rather than it vanishing into thin air once he left this earth.

Could a man really adopt a child, even though he’s not married? It would probably be complicated, but like John says, I could give it a go. Do you really want a child right now, Darren? Forty will be here before I know it, though. And do I really want to be starting off as a parent at like forty years old? Or do I want to go ahead and get moving on this now so I can still use some of my younger years with him rather than being old? Dude, you don’t even know if some adoption agency in this state would go for that. A single man with no wife walking into the office and trying to adopt a child. That shit doesn’t even seem possible.

Darren was pulled out of his daze by the waitress asking him for his order. He simply ordered a small Greek salad, sending the waitress on her way. For the next hour and a half, the two brothers talked while they waited on their food, ate, then headed out and back into the afternoon sun. Darren stopped by his house so his brother could get his suitcases then they headed for the airport. Outside of the entrance, John hugged his brother as they said their goodbyes.

“Man, just keep your eyes open,” John said. “And you might change your mind on marriage.”

Before Darren could respond, John held up his finger signaling he wait for a moment. His phone rang. It was his wife, Melanie, calling to make sure he was getting his flight on time. Darren could hear the sound of yelling children through the phone. He went on that said goodbye to John, telling him to get on into the airport, then he walked back out to his car.

When Darren pulled up at his house, the sun was beginning its slow decent out of the sky. It now set just above the trees, illuminating the hundreds of steeples spanning across the city. He leaned his head back into the seat in thought. The children running up and down the street, enjoying the last couple of hours of daylight before the moon took the sun’s place in the sky, caught his attention on numerous occasions. Despite his success in business, that hole was still there. On top of that, his family harping on him about starting a family so wealth could be passed down rather than lost wore on his mind...even when he didn’t know it.

After a few minutes in thought, as well as reading through emails he missed while at the winery with his brother, Darren finally trudged up into the house. John’s idea of him adopting a baby on his own really stuck with him as he settled in for the night, changing into gray sweatpants and a t-shirt. Still, however, he just wasn’t sure about the idea of leaving a wife out of the equation. No matter how much he liked the idea of raising a child on his own without the influence, and possible control, of a woman, his traditional mindsets still kicked in stronger. It was easy to believe that if he wanted the bigger picture, he would need a loving, supporting wife at his side.

Shortly after Darren snacked on some Chex mix, he’d been passing by his living room window when he noticed a newspaper on his porch. How did I miss that? He stepped out onto the porch, waved at a neighbor getting out of her car and heading into the house, and grabbed the paper. Not much of a newspaper kind of guy, he decided to skim through it and see what the local journalists talked about. A few minutes into his surf, toward the middle of the paper, he came across a story that strangely tied in well with what the choices weighing on his mind: a man getting screwed by marriage.

Darren sat down on the bottom step, just next to a lamp on an end table by the door. He read through the story then shook his head as he finished the last paragraph. The story was the chilling account of a Ft. Wayne man who had gone through the adoption process with his wife in efforts to adopt a baby girl. Shortly after the process had gone through, and they settled into life with the child, the wife filed for divorce. According to the article, the wife left her husband to pursue a relationship with a younger man she’d secretly been seeing for a year. The part of the story that really struck a cord with Darren was how the courts awarded the wife a child support order against the now ex-husband. Under the eyes of the law, he is considered to be the child’s father. Darren closed the paper, shaking his head as he stood up and headed back toward into his kitchen.

***

Sherry pulled into The Blue Ivy parking lot shortly after the sun had gone done. Couples and families strolled downtown streets, some headed to parks while others to restaurants. Her car, on shaky ground at best, rumbled into the parking lot then she pulled it into a spot at the side of the building. With thirty pounds of extra weight on her at this point, Sherry struggled to climb out of her car. She pressed her hand into her back, stretched a bit, then headed toward the sidewalk. At nine months pregnant, she was ready for this baby to come. “Any day now,” she would often joke, especially when her days were long and drawn out. The stress showed on her face; irritability was the name of the game. Before turning the corner to walk along the front of the building, Sherry glanced around the parking lot to make sure she saw Carl’s car. Her nostrils flared from just thinking about him and the run-around he’d been giving her when it came it getting her last check.

Sherry forced a smile to Liz, a newer waitress who zipped around the way she could up until a few months ago. Liz spoke for a moment, in a rush, and

asked Sherry how she was doing. “Girl, you look like you’re going to drop that baby any day now.”

Sherry scuffed, shaking her head. “Yeah, I wish it had been yesterday,” she said. “Where is Carl? I’m here to see him. Can you get him? When you get a chance, that is.”

Liz finished up tending to a table then went to the back. A couple of minutes later Carl walked out behind the bar. He obviously was not happy to see Sherry – a waitress whom had wound up having to let go of because not only of her new nasty attitude, but also slowness and struggle to show up to work because of her pregnancy. He knew exactly why she was there: to get a check he knew he specifically mailed to her twice. And both times, something supposedly happened to where she didn’t get it. Now, a couple of months later, the busy manager had to take time out of his day to deal with a 9-months-pregnant woman who he thought probably resented being fired while pregnant. Sherry approached the bar.

“Sherry, we talked about this,” Carl said. “I told you I mailed that check to you twice. I’m not going to keep going through this if there’s something wrong with however you get mail.”

Sherry placed her hand on her stomach and leaned forward on the bar. “Carl, I told you I was sorry. I really am, but I never got that check. I just never got it. I know you’re probably busy and all that. I know, I know. But still, you know I need that money. I ain’t been working in nearly two months now, so I gotta have it. Can’t you just write me a check like you did when what’s-his-name quit and be done with it already?”