Veronica nodded silently. She could already tell that there was a ‘but’ coming up, and she was already preparing her rebuttal.
“I have to be honest with you though,” Calvin
said, and ran a hand over his face. “I don’t really like the idea of you taking up residence over there. It just seems like a little bit too much to ask, in my opinion.”
“Well,” Veronica said slowly, folding her hands in her lap. “He did explain that the reason he wants me there as a permanent resident is just to take care of the kids. He probably just doesn’t want to deal with wet beds and kids coming up to him to talk about bad dreams. He probably just wants to be able to come home and have a good night’s rest.”
Calvin blinked, and frowned.
“I don’t know,” Calvin shook his head. “I just really don’t think it’s the most… appropriate thing for you to live there.”
Veronica felt the first sparks of irritation.
“The contract explained that several of his household staff reside there,” Veronica explained as calmly as possible. “And my situation would be no different.”
Veronica watched as Calvin seemed to undergo some kind of internal struggle. She knew that he wanted to say something, but was obviously reluctant to do so.
“What are you thinking about?” she asked him as gently as she could.
Calvin looked over at her and released a sigh.
“I mean it’s just,” Calvin said softly, and gestured to the room around him. “We have this great setup here. We moved in together, we’re in a serious relationship. I think we’ve got a great thing going here. And to just lose all that for the sake of a job? I don’t know. The job is supposed to help supplement all this, not lose it altogether.”
Veronica listened, and she supposed he was making good sense. Still, as much sense as he was making, she couldn’t really bring herself to completely agree.
“Well you make a good point,” Veronica said, speaking as slowly and gently as she could. “But honestly, what we have here together… is it really that great?”
Calvin’s face fell, and then contorted into an expression of confusion. Veronica nearly groaned, knowing that their conversation was now going to take a much different turn.
“What do you mean?” Calvin asked, shifting on the couch to face her more head on.
“I think…” Veronica paused for a moment to collect her thoughts. “I think that maybe the situation we’ve created for ourselves is not the situation that’s for the best in the long run.”
An expression of hurt passed over Calvin’s face, and he said nothing. Veronica felt a twinge of guilt, but she knew that she had opened the door, and that she couldn’t very well close it now.
“All we’ve managed to do by living together,” Veronica explained slowly. “Is fall into a routine, and lose all the variety in our life. There’s no spontaneity. There’s no romance. We have a set schedule. We barely go out because you’re so disappointed by the way I conduct my work and you’re worried we’ll go broke.”
As she spoke, Veronica started thinking less and less of how it would impact Calvin, and more about how good it felt to finally get some of these frustrations off her chest.
“I am grateful to live here, and at first it was nice to live with you,” she went on. “But now, I just feel like I’ve been here for the past ten years. We live together, but it’s like all that I do create more problems, without the added benefit of closeness and intimacy. Speaking of which, we also barely ever have sex anymore, and what’s the point of even having our own place together if we don’t even need the privacy.”
Calvin looked shocked by the admission, and she could tell that her comment about their sex life had made him a little uncomfortable.
“I’m… sorry,” Calvin shook his head. “I had barely even noticed.”
“Calvin,” Veronica said, her tone slightly accusing. “I try to come onto you every single night, and I’m lucky if I get any kind of action every two weeks. I hate to break it to you, but that’s really not enough for me. And it certainly doesn’t justify staying here where I have to pay rent when I could just live somewhere else and get paid to do it.”
Calvin still looked a little affronted, and Veronica could all but see the wheels turning in his head as he processed her words.
“I just really think,” Veronica said softly, reaching out to place her hand on his knee. “That this situation could end up being really good for us. We can both spend some time on our own and figure things out for a little while. And eventually, maybe we can try living together again. But for now, I think it will be better if I move out, and you could find a smaller place to live on your own. The contract did say he would pay to break the lease if it inconvenienced me.”
Calvin nodded, but was silent. He seemed a little dejected, and again Veronica felt a little guilty.
“Hey,” she said softly, looking over toward him. “Are you okay?”
“I think so,” Calvin nodded, giving her a small smile. “I just had no idea things were like that for you. I mean, I know I was riding you about your job. But I really had no idea you were feeling any of these other things.”
“Well,” Veronica said, shrugging. “I am.”