Moving in front of Suzie he put one arm on either side of her, pinning her to the wall. Jeff lowered his gaze, his dark eyes meeting hers. “What are you doing to me?” he growled, his voice low and close.
Suzie licked her lips. She could hear his deep breathing inches away from her, she could feel his heat and smell him but above all else was this electric current drawing her to him. He was all wrong but she wanted him to make her his. A small moan escaped her lips and she brought her hand to her mouth. Still, with no movement but the eyes, Jeff seemed to be having an internal struggle. His breathing got deeper and Suzie moved her hand to touch his face. Moving his face, he kissed her hand and then pushed it aside with his cheek. Stepping closer, Jeff kissed her forehead, smelling her hair and then tilting her face to meet his; he kissed her hard on the mouth and pushed her up against the wall. Suzie opened her mouth, her tongue seeking and exploring his mouth. Pulling away with a gasp, she whispered, “No.”
Standing still, Jeff didn’t move. He stood with an arm on either side of her, keeping Suzie pinned to the wall. Her eyes were wide and unsure, like a deer in the headlights. Her mind was panicking, what was she doing here? What was Jeff doing here? He knew she was with Jared, why had he kissed her? Wait, didn’t she touch him first and what was this strong underlying current, sizzling between them? Suzie took a breath.
At that moment, there were footsteps coming up to the studio. Jeff stepped away from her and turned to the door. Helen entered, flushed and out of breath.
“What are you still doing here?” she asked him, and then she spotted the painting he had been working on and gasped. Grabbing his arm, she dragged him over to it. “Jeff. This is amazing. You have a natural raw talent. Why don’t you paint more? Come out here more often, or better yet go to Jacquie’s studio in the city, she…”
Jeff cut her off. “Enough Mom. Nobody knows I paint except you and it is going to stay that way. Besides, Suzie has been waiting over an hour for you so I am going to leave you two alone.”
“Gosh, Suzie I did not even see you there, I assumed I missed you. I am so sorry.” While Helen explained to Suzie why she was late, Jeff gathered his things to leave.
“I was not here today. Got it?” he told them both.
“If you insist, but we are not done talking about this,” Helen said sternly. Suzie could only nod, her mouth agape as he walked out the door.
Instead of painting, Suzie helped Helen clean the studio, put away paint and brushes. All the while, Helen showed Suzie artwork and chatted about painting, nonchalantly describing Jeff as a tough guy with the soul of an artist, though he tried to bury it. Suzie smiled and responded when appropriate, or she tried to. Inside she was freaking out and wanted to run. If only she would have walked away when she saw Helen was not there. If only she had not touched him, kissed him. Trembling as she thought of that kiss, of his muscled arms holding her captive, she mumbled something about needing some fresh air and went outside.
Suzie walked down the trail behind the studio. After she had distanced herself and was surrounded by trees, she sat on a log. Gasping deep breaths she tried to regain her composure. In a minute she would have to make her way back to the house for supper. After supper, Jared was taking her somewhere special. How could she tell him she kissed Jeff? How could she hurt him? Standing up quickly, Suzie jogged a short distance for an energy release, knowing she had to face everyone; she turned around and walked back the way she came.
At the edge of the yard, she could see everyone gathering around the outside table to eat. After giving herself a pep talk, she walked up to join them. Jared smiled and patted the spot next to him for her to sit down. Obliging, she sat and asked him about his day. Holding her hand, he talked about his hike and encouraged her to eat a big meal because she would need it for their adventure. Suzie tried but could hardly eat a bite. It did not help that Jeff sat across from her, his outstretched legs under the table bumped hers sending a jolt of electricity through her body. Looking unfazed, he smiled and joked with everyone and had one arm around Candy who had finally left her room.
After supper, Jared and Suzie changed into hiking attire and she followed him down another trail that curved steeply uphill. Suzie was silent as she tried to find a way to tell Jared what happened. She had promised not to talk about Jeff’s painting so that made the truth even more difficult. But why was he keeping it a secret from his twin brother? Surely Jeff didn’t expect her to keep it from Jared. Was that it? Was the kiss a sibling rivalry thing? That must be it. They competed over everything. Suzie sighed with relief. Surely, she was not the first girl they fought over.
Another ten minutes and they had reached the summit. The sun was just beginning to set and the rocks provided a cozy shelter. Jared set his bag down and spread out a blanket. Sitting on it with his legs spread, Jared pulled her down to him. She sunk into his chest and he wrapped her in his arms. Breathing in his distinct scent she settled in and relaxed. His arms tight around her made her feel safe and she closed her mind to all other thoughts. The safety, security and trust she had for Jared were immeasurable. He was her rock. The sky turned brilliant pink and orange as the sun dipped low in the horizon. Jared held her as they quietly watched the sky illuminate the hills and valley below them.
“This is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.” As she said it, a picture of Jeff’s painting flashed in her mind and she shook it away. “I love this place.”
“And I love you,” Jared said holding her hand in his. “I have never brought anyone up here before and I wanted
to share it with you because I love you.”
Suzie’s mouth dropped open and her heart hit her stomach. Jared had never said those words before, no one had ever told Suzie they loved her. Feeling like a traitor, she looked down and stammered, “Oh Jared. I. Love you too.” She said it because she had to, because there he was bringing her to the most awe-inspiring place she had ever seen. Opening up to her and treating her like royalty, he was a dream come true. Suzie had never said those words to anyone before and maybe she meant it. She was not sure what love is supposed to feel like.
Grabbing her tight, he kissed her until she kissed back. The heat of his lips warmed her and she could almost forget everything else. This was her Jared. He cared for her, protected her and apparently loved her. This was her future, not horny Jeff who was just trying to compete with Jared or piss him off.
The first stars twinkled in the sky before Jared said they had to head back. And still Suzie had not said a word about her and Jeff’s interaction. They walked down the hill listening to the night time forest come alive. Jared led with his flashlight and Suzie followed, the lump in her throat growing. She felt like she lost her chance to be honest and was now hiding something from the man who loved her. Back at the yard, Jared pulled her in beside him, wrapping an arm around her waist. He asked her why she was so quiet and she explained that she was just tired from all the excitement. Still when they reached the deck, they sat down to talk with Jared’s mom and dad.
Not noticing Suzie’s despondency, the conversation flowed as Jared rambled about what a great time they had had. Helen invited them back, just the two of them so they could paint and hike and enjoy some quiet time. Jared’s dad agreed, and was eager to see more of them. Suzie felt like her chance to tell Jared had disappeared. While Jared talked with his parents, Suzie resolved to never talk about it again. Jeff did not paint, so he was not in the studio, so nothing happened. Happily convinced she could talk herself out of the attraction she felt towards Jeff, she leaned on Jared’s shoulder and closed her eyes.
“You two better get to bed,” Helen insisted. “Suzie looks like she is about to drop and you guys have a big day ahead of you.”
“Yes, goodnight you two,” Jared’s dad said.
They walked back to their room holding hands. Jared stopped at the back door to kiss her gently on the lips. Together they descended into the basement. Upon opening the door, they heard the television blaring and saw Jeff and Candy on the couch watching a movie. More accurately, there was a movie playing while they fooled around on the couch. Candy stopped kissing Jeff and looked up giggling. Jeff sat up and looked at them.
“Our turn to walk in on you, I guess,” Jared said with a laugh that sounded lighthearted and carefree.
Jeff said nothing until Jared said goodnight, then he responded with the same words. As they started to walk away, Jeff started kissing Candy again, but his eyes were on Suzie. Her heart began to race and she felt bitterness towards Candy. It angered her that those full lips and gruff beard were touching her. Stop it. She reminded herself. He means nothing to you. She repeated those words until she was settled into bed with Jared.
Kissing her shoulder and sliding up next to her, Jared whispered in her ear, “Thank you for sharing this with me today. I love you.”
“It was great,” Suzie said, trying to return the enthusiasm when all she felt was confusion. “I love you too.” She said it again to cover her uncertainty. Then over-exaggerating how tired she felt, she convinced Jared to let her fall asleep in his arms.
He agreed and tenderly held her, though she was awake long after he fell asleep. Her eyes were closed but her brain was running full steam, replaying everything that happened that day. It would have been a perfect weekend if Jeff had not ruined it. And of course she had her part in it by not telling Jared what had happened. Now, she was guilty by omission. He had told her he loves her and she lied to him. She felt awful.
In the morning, they were up and gone before anyone else. It was a long drive and they were going straight to work. Helen had programmed the coffee maker to turn on so they had steaming hot coffee to go with them. As they drove away and Suzie warmed from the inside out with the coffee, she began to feel better. The further they got from the cabin the better she felt. Things would go back to normal now and she could forget what happened. Jared did not see his family often and it should be doable to avoid Jeff as much as possible. Once they got back to work, friends, and life she would forget this lingering desire and random flashes of shirtless Jeff. The painting he created, the darkness in his eyes and the way it felt to touch him. That was just lust playing on her fear of commitment she told herself. It was Jared she wanted. He looked over and she smiled at him as he continued to share more detail about the epic paintball game and how great of a weekend it was.