Taken (Dark Desires 1)

Physical wounds heal over time. But my brother wasn’t happy with that. If he didn’t get his way he wanted to see permanent damage. Permanent damage done to me and Natasha.

NATASHA

As I sat at the back of the restaurant I couldn't help but get a weird sense of déjà vu. It was like I was being fired all over again even though I sat in front of Dolores Morris when she delivered the unemployment death blow over six months ago.

My gut wanted to blame her for all my troubles right now. If she hadn't fired me I wouldn't have went to that dump of a bar and I never would have met Joshua Hewitt.

There was a booth at the back of the diner that I had slinked into virtually unnoticed by everyone, including the waitress who had let my coffee cup run not just cold but dry without a refill. I had learned not to attract attention to myself, even for something as simple as a cup of coffee. It’s amazing what a person can adapt to under strenuous circumstances. I didn’t yell for cabs. I didn’t sit by windows anymore. I didn’t leave my curtains open. I didn’t smile at strangers or even make eye contact. I wanted to be invisible because every time I thought I was safe, or alone I would see him. Joshua would be outside my apartment or parked outside of work or loitering in a doorway across from a restaurant, like he might be at this very moment. I watched the door and waited for Diamond. She had promised to meet me here with a small bag of things from my apartment. I couldn't go there. Joshua was probably waiting there.

So, I sat in the clothes I was wearing when I ran from my apartment cutting through the alley. My blond hair was tucked up into a baseball cap. I wore a sweatshirt that made me look like I was built like a United States Post Office mailbox and baggy, flannel pajama bottoms covered my legs. I had gym shoes on but no socks.

Still, no one paid much attention to me. I was the only one who felt uncomfortable wearing what I could sleep in out on the street in broad daylight. But I was hiding. I had to look like anyone but myself because I wasn't sure where Joshua was. Truthfully, I didn't think he was at this restaurant, slipping hundred dollar bills into the busboys hands if they would pretend he wasn't there and allow him to spy on me from the kitchen or lurk near the ladies room waiting for me to go pee.

That was what was the worst of all this. I couldn't do something as simple as go pee. I couldn't just go to my apartment and take a shower and sleep the night. No. Joshua Hewitt had decided that I shouldn't be allowed those things because I told him over four months ago I didn't want to see him anymore.

In hind sight I am guessing he would have been okay with that had I not added that it was his brother who I loved. What was I thinking? I'll tell you what I was thinking. I was thinking that honesty was the best policy. I was thinking the truth would set me free. I certainly wasn't thinking that telling the truth would get me stalked, threatened and fearful for my own life that is for darn sure.

While I waited for Diamond I recalled the events of that morning four months ago as if they just happened. It wasn't like I was whispering words of love and commitment to Joshua. I was honest with him from the beginning making no promises. In fact, he never promised me anything either. There was no talk about kids or a big wedding or honeymooning or any of that stuff that goes with that forever kind of love. Not from Joshua. Not a word of it. But the words he did say I was certain he meant. As I thought of them I couldn't help the goose bumps that ran up my arms, like someone had walked over my grave.

"We need to talk?" Joshua had repeated my words as we sat down at the coffee shop not far from work. It was just your average coffee shop with lots of windows and a couple of tables for two with a long counter and annoying employees who practiced their improvisational skills for their theater 101 class as they made your coffee.

"I don't think I like the sound of that." he said, pulling my chair out for me to sit and then sitting down across from me, leaning more than halfway across the little table between us.

"I'm sorry, Joshua. You've been so good to me and I've enjoyed our time together but I don't see it going anywhere." I kept my voice low and soft. I didn't want to hurt him but there were things that I noticed starting to happen between us that I didn't like. He always picked what we were going to do. He told me what to wear and if he didn't like what I had put on out of my own closet he'd take me to a store and drop a couple hundred on a new outfit that I didn't want or need or even like.

Sure, it sounds like fun to be bought things like this. The price tags were never looked at by anyone but me and all I kept seeing wasn't the dress or the shoes but the shackles that they all felt like. It isn't like the movies. Nothing comes for free.

"This certainly is out of the blue."

"No it isn't." I said as kindly as I could, reaching out to touch his hand. "We don't really talk when we are together. Our hobbies and interests are at totally opposite ends of the spectrum and I just have more in common with Mart..."

Joshua started laughing out loud.

“You are saying you have more in common with Marty?”

He threw his head back and laughed loudly as I sat there feeling heat rush up my collar.

"That is because you came from nothing, Natasha. You have to make an effort to understand where I've come from. I can't just stoop to your level just so we can have a hobby together."

What the hell? I remember thinking he may as well have just slapped me right there. I wasn't a Rockefeller. But I wasn't a welfare case either. I swallowed hard and tried to control myself as I looked him right in the eyes. He looked back at me as if he was searching for the chink in my armor.

"That wasn't nice."

"You really think you deserve to be treated nice?"

He sat there staring at me waiting for me to answer. Still leaning over the table at me like I was under cross examination for murder he seemed to enjoy making me feel small and foolish. A switch had been flipped and all I could think was Marty was right.

"Yes. I'm trying to be nice to you. I'm not saying I hate you or that I think there is something wrong with you. I'm just saying I don't want to date anymore. We can still be friends."

The words felt like big, dry, square blocks tumbling out of my mouth. I didn't want to be friends. Not now. I didn't want to be anywhere near this guy at this point. But I was trying to calm the waters for Marty. Just then, as if he heard me think his brother's name, Joshua glared at me. His hands slid across the table and he took hold of mine, squeezing them hard. The ring on my right ring finger of a simple pearl that I had gotten from my father when I turned sixteen was now digging painfully into my middle and pinky fingers.

He tilted his head to the right and smiled at me. Anyone walking by on the street who happened to look in would think we were in love. They would think he was whispering sweet words to me and baring his feelings bravely in a public place. They would be so wrong.

"After all the things I've done for you." he hissed, still smiling like the Cheshire Cat. "After getting you a job, lifting you up out of the gutter. After all the things I bought you, the places I took you, and when you begged for it all the times I fucked you, this is the gratitude you show me?"

"Okay now!" I said, snatching my hands out of his and looking around at the people seated at nearby tables as my cheeks burned red hoping that no one had heard what Joshua just said. "That was totally uncalled for. If you're going to be like that then there is no reason for me to stay. You've made your point, Joshua. I got it." I began to scoop up my purse when I heard his voice. It was so close to me I thought I could feel his hot breath on my face and yet he hadn't moved from his seat.

"Sit your ass down." I looked at him to see the shadow of something sinister creep into his eyes. It reminded me of those nature shows that film the sun going across the sky in elapsed time and the shadows of the trees cross over the ground quickly. That was how fast darkness descended behind Joshua's eyes. My gut told me to run. But, the fearful rabbit that sees the fox inside my brain made me freeze and slip back into my seat. I clutched my purse to my chest as if my wallet and date book and mirrored compact and apartment keys might somehow ward off this evil thing that was staring at me.