As hard as it was, I pulled away.
“Stop,” I said, putting my hand on his chest to keep us apart. “We can't do this.”
“You're the one who kissed me,” he said with a smile.
“I know, I'm mainly talking to myself right now.”
Deep breaths, Maya. Deep breaths. I had to step away. I couldn't let my childhood crush get the better of me, not when there was a child in the middle of all this. Reese reached out and stroked my cheek, and I so badly wanted to lean into that touch, but I stayed strong.
“We can't do this, Reese,” I said again. “You, me, it's not going to work.”
“And why not? I mean, we already have a kid together, why can't you and I be together like that? For real?”
“For real? As in girlfriend and boyfriend?” I scoffed. “Because what happens if we break up? What happens if things go south? Right now, we have a nice arrangement that works. We're civil, we get along well enough, we don't hate each other's guts, but what happens if we do this and then it doesn't work out –”
“But what if it does, Maya?” Reese asked. “What if it works out and we get married, and Eli gets the family he deserves?”
“Get married?” I almost couldn't believe I was hearing this from his mouth. I stood up from the couch and paced the room, trying to collect my thoughts – which was a lot like herding cats at that point. “Whoa, I can't even believe you're talking like this. Not that I oppose the idea, in the future of course, but just because we have a kid together doesn't mean we'll make a happy family. That's not how this works, Reese. It's not that simple.”
“And why can't it be?” Reese stood up as well, walking over, putting his hands on my shoulders and stopping me from pacing the room once more.
“Because – well, because –”
“Because – I'm me? Because I'm a loser like your brother?”
“No, that's not what I meant! You're nothing like him. You're –” I stammered, trying to find the words.
“I'm what, Maya?” Reese asked, raising his voice.
“You're better than him. You've always been better than him. It's just – I don't want you to be with me just for Eli. Or because you think you're doing the right thing and feel obligated. We don't have to force anything, Reese.”
“I'm not forcing anything, Maya. I care about you; I think you're amazing and I want to make this work. I mean it.”
Reese was still holding onto my arm, but he loosened his grip. I could walk away if I wanted to. I could tell him to get lost if I wanted to. But I wanted neither of those things. Truth be told, what I wanted in that moment was him. It was stupid and selfish and childish, but I wanted to be with him again. This time, for real.
After several moments of silence, I looked into his eyes and say the truth in his words. It put cracks in the walls of my fear and insecurity. And those cracks in my walls finally let me speak.
“I want that too,” I said softly. “I do.”
“Then let's do it, Maya. Let's try it,” Reese said. “Let's make this work.”
He pulled me into him and held me close, my head resting on his chest. He stroked my hair and kissed the top of my head as he spoke.
“Back then, I was a stupid kid,” he started. “But my time in LA forced me to grow up, forced me to see that I couldn't keep living like that. I realized that I needed to get my life together or else I'd end up on the streets one day. And that's why I came back here. I didn't expect to find you or Eli or any of this, but honestly, it's exactly what I needed right now. I need you in my life, Maya. I want you in my life. And not just because you're the mother of my child, but because you're good for me. You make me want to be a better man.”
I looked up and found him staring down at me, the shadow of a smile on his lips. I stood on my tip-toes and pressed my lips to his once more, and this time, I didn't stop.
We made our way into my bedroom, trying our hardest to be quiet as we walked past Eli's room. And as soon as we were alone, Reese kissed me, long and hard as he held me close. I worked at his pants as he worked at mine, and we were both undressed before either of us had even drawn a breath.
Reese pushed me down onto my bed, but I resisted. I was no longer the meek, inexperienced girl I had been before – time had changed me in a lot of ways. I pushed him over, forcing my way on top of him. I pressed my body into him as I kissed him, rubbing my pussy all over his cock, remembering the way he'd felt inside of me all those years ago.
Reese's hands cupped my breasts and he took a nipple into his mouth, sucking on it long and hard, sending shivers down my spine. I rubbed myself against him, rubbing my clit over his stiff cock while he explored my body with his hands and mouth.
Taking him in my hand, I gripped him tightly as I guided him into me, lowering my body onto him as I stared deeply into his eyes. Unlike the first time we were together, it didn't hurt. There was no pain as he spread me open – only pleasure as he filled me up. His hands grabbed onto my ass and held me in place, allowing our bodies to adjust to being united. He pulled me down so our lips met once more as we kissed deeply. Passionately. I rocked on top of him, riding him slowly at first, enjoying the sensation of him being inside of me again after so long.
“Maya, Maya,” he whispered into my ear. “Oh God, Maya.”
This wasn't the frantic fucking of years ago, this was of two adults making love. And we were trying to be as quiet as possible because unlike before, we had a little boy sleeping in the next room. But God, it was so hard to not call out Reese's name, as our bodies found a nice, solid rhythm and pleasure washed over the both of us.