Broken

Jake whined and grumbled, stomping his feet as though he was a child having a temper tantrum, before whipping his head in Carrie’s direction.

“No. Come!” I yelled, which yielded the same result.

I groaned, now angry by his insubordination.

“The second she finds that station and makes it back to civilization, we’re both in her rear-view. I hate to break it to you, buddy, but her loyalty is like every other woman…Worthless,” I hissed angrily, though he is trying to convince himself of this, more than the dog.

Jake snorted impatiently.

“Okay, fine. We’ll stay here. You want to test me? Good. Great,” I retorted in a belligerent fashion, plopping down on the ground, trying to give Jake the impression that we were at an impasse and I wasn’t going to budge.

Jake lay down on the ground and whined staring at me with his huge, deep brown eyes.

“Don’t give me that look,” I hissed, “You’re being a jerk dog. Jerk dogs don’t get to look like that.”

The two of us stayed there, glaring at one another for a long while. Every time I tried to speak, Jake would moan and snort, generally having a tantrum.

A few times, I contemplated leaving his ass, but I didn’t because I knew he was right.

I shouldn’t have let her go out alone and every time he made a scene, I was reminded of how much of an asshole I was being.

As we were sitting there, I couldn’t help but be reminded of literally every bad thing that could happen to her wh

ile she was out there alone, and no one would ever know.

You know, if something does happen to her, it’s your fault. I thought at one time, with Jake’s piercing gaze only solidifying the thought.

What if the guide finds her, wandering all alone? Goddammit… I thought, as rage swelled inside of me, knowing again that it would be my fault for letting her go out all alone.

“She wanted me to leave her alone. She didn’t want me, and I don’t blame her,” I grumbled to Jake, “I was an ass. I wouldn’t even say those things to you and you don’t even understand me. Let’s face it, you wouldn’t want me going after you either if I acted like that.”

The dog simply whined his protest and continued to stare back at me, without blinking, just judging me and all my bad decisions.

“I know you like her, Jake, but you don’t seem to understand. Humans are innately flawed. That’s why I like you. You’re a dog. You are loyal to me and I am loyal to you.” I narrowed my eyes, “Which is why I’m out here this long, waiting for you to get off your lazy ass and come back home with me.”

The dog gave a small harrumph and whined but didn’t move.

Eventually, Jake’s guilting got the better of me. I kind of knew it would from the start and once I conceded, I was pissed that I had waited this long.

“Okay, fine. You win, you asshole. Go find Carrie,” I instructed and at the sound of her name, Jakes head popped up and his tongue fell out of his mouth with excitement.

“Yeah,” I insisted, throwing my hand in the right direction as I got to my feet, “Let’s go get her.”

With the confirmation that I was willing to go along with him, Jake leapt to his feet and took off in full-on sprint.

“Wait for me!” I yelled as I took off behind Jake.

Thankfully, for this situation, Jake is a loud and messy tracker. He barrels through the wilderness like a bull in a china shop, barking the whole way. This usually means that I can track him easily, even if I am far behind him.

The massive dog loves to run and is always extremely excited at the prospect of tearing through the woods.

He can be in the worst mood, but a run can make him feel better. Right now, I could tell that he needed to run; both to track and to relieve the stress that the fighting had placed on him.

For such a massive dog, he hated confrontation and right now, I could tell that he was really hurting.

That seemed to be my mantra lately and everyone I met was eager to inform me of that.

Between the two of us, it didn’t take us all that long to catch up with Carrie, considering she was slower due to her leg.