Broken

“You know, people aren’t all like that,” I told him, trying to be comforting, but unsure if I had actually managed to hit the mark.

“Yeah, I know. I mean, I want to believe that, but that’s not even where the story ends. So, I go to my parent’s house for dinner one night and she fucking shows up! She makes a big scene in front of my folks and my brother, who for some reason completely hates me…So, I figure, I don’t want to deal with this, so I leave. I go to the bar, then, at around ten-thirty, the cops show up at the bar. They arrest me. Now, I’m plastered as fuck, so I’m not even sure if this is real, a dream, or what. However, I get booked, on God knows what and get thrown in a cell. The next morning, I wake up with the worst hangover ever and a charge against me for assault. Apparently, after I left my parent’s house, she stormed out and made it look like I had beat the shit out of her. She slashed her own tires, punched herself, broke a few ribs and did whatever she could, to make me look like the biggest piece of shit walking.”

“What? Why?”

He shrugged, “I dunno. She was the one who wanted to leave, it wasn’t like I had money…She wasn’t going to get anything, even if she successfully sued. I’m not sure what her plan was. Fortunately, the charges didn’t stick, but that was only because I got lucky and got an officer who was willing to check out what was going on. During the investigation, we found out that I wasn’t the first guy she had tried to do this to. She apparently had done it twice before and taken the poor bastards for everything they had. The first time, generally, it’s an open and shut case. The second time, it’s suspicious, but the third time, it seems she pushed her luck just a little too far. So, the charges were dropped, and I was let go, but during the process, I had called my parents, thinking that they could at least attest to my story, that I was there and left, before she even left their house, but they were no help whatsoever. They were embarrassed by the whole thing and told me that was what I got for sleeping around with a whore. They actually told me that I deserved it. They refused to say anything at all to the police and pretty much washed their hands of me.”

Again, he shook his head and I placed my hand on his back, trying to be comforting.

“It’s weird. I lived with this woman and I was so blinded by…love, lust, or whatever, that I didn’t see the person she truly was. The person I thought I loved, didn’t even exist…

At least, not really. I don’t know if she was on some kind of revenge kick, power trip, or what happened to her, to make her act that way and do those things, but it completely shattered me. I couldn’t trust anyone ever again.”

“Well, I can definitely understand why…” I shook my head as his words sunk in, “God, Johnathan, I couldn’t imagine…Losing everyone you cared about…”

“No, not losing them, realizing that I never had them to begin with, and that they never gave a shit about me. Everyone I know was gone, just like that…Except for that one guy. Tom. I tried to keep a friendship with him, after cutting everyone else out of my life. However, every time I saw him, or anyone, I would just get angry. I started drinking heavily, which was stupid. I went to work drunk on more than one occasion, because I couldn’t sit in my cubicle and conduct business sober, knowing that this was where we met. Then, one day, she came into my bank and made a big deal. Security was called, she was escorted out and I left. I never went back and that was the day I decided that I was done. I packed what little shit I cared about, took Jake and moved out here. Tom came to see me a few times, but I couldn’t even manage to be civil with him, so eventually, he stopped coming. I didn’t blame him, but I was upset by being alone. I continued to drink, until I realized that I needed to save my money. So, I started to do odd jobs on the mountain for people. I never worked for the same person twice though and eventually learned to pretty much live off the land. I get most of my meat in town, but everything else, I grow, catch, or make. It’s ben a long time since I even had a visitor, much less someone I could actually talk to.”

I grinned encouragingly at him, wrapping my arms around him for support.

“I can’t begin to express how sorry I am. That’s a terrible way to have to live,” I replied.

“It’s actually not as bad as I think I’m making it sound, but it does get kind of lonely. I mean, while I don’t want to put my trust in anyone again, it’s hard not to miss being around people sometimes. I mean, Jake is a great companion, but there’s only so many times you can talk to the dog before you start to feel crazy.”

“I get that,” I answered, but didn’t elaborate. There were things about this very mountain that made me feel similar to the situation Johnathan was describing. However, at least he was talking about a dog. Still, I didn’t elaborate, and Johnathan didn’t ask. I was thankful.

For as open as I was about my life and as willing as I felt to allow Johnathan to get to know me, there was something about that conversation that was still off limits in my mind.

We were quiet for a long while. I placed my head on his shoulder, closing my eyes and breathing in the scent of him.

Soon, though, I felt eyes, staring at me.

At first, I tried to ignore the gaze, knowing that it was Johnathan, but eventually, the feeling was too substantial, and I was forced to open my eyes.

When I did, I saw that Johnathan was close to my face, grinning in a strange manner. It was a sad smile, that accompanied dark eyes. The light in his gaze was completely lost to his memory, but there was still a slightly hopeful vibe coming from somewhere deep inside his expression.

“Thank you,” he insisted, and I returned a beam of acknowledgement.

“For what?” I asked, turning my head in an effort to be consoling and attentive.

“For putting up with me. If I were you, I would’ve killed me by now. I can be a real pain in the ass,” he answered in a slightly humored way.

“I still owe you my life,” I responded, half teasing, “So, that buys you some time.”

“You’re beautiful,” he insisted, catching me off guard, “And I am such a fucking fool.”

With that, he pressed his lips against mine, as his arms wound around me, bringing him close to me.

Immediately, I reciprocated the kiss, weaving my hands through his hair and pulling him close to me.

The taste of him was refreshing and despite my fatigue, his kiss was inspiring and renewing.

All I wanted at that moment was to be closer to him, to feel him and to have a similar experience here, in the woods, that we had in the cabin.

I didn’t worry about being seen by anyone and I wasn’t even thinking about the threat that the psycho guide might still pose.

Within the moment we kissed, all my worries melted away. I was no longer concerned with the state of my injuries or, anything about the world that did not have to do with Johnathan and I, sharing this moment.

His tongue was naughty and easily thrust into my mouth, winding its way around in a caressing, yet seductive manner; as though it promised what the rest of him intended to do to me. This caused my heart to race and the sensitivity of my nerves to escalate with anticipation.