Broken

h men getting handsy with you.”

“I’m never complaining about the tips though.” She pulls a wad of cash out her pocket that makes my mouth water. “I always get good pay from the job. Why don’t you just come and do it for a while, get yourself financially stable then look for another job?”

The thing about Jenny is she’s never short of money. She always pays the rent and bills on time, and she can afford nice clothes and meals too. She’s even been on vacation a couple of times in the last year which made me very jealous. She works far less hours than me too and is never as stressed. It’s like the ideal job, but I don’t know if I’m cut out for it.

“You’re really sexy though,” I pout. “You have big boobs and a nice bum, amazing hair and fab curves. Plus those legs that seem to go on forever more. I don’t have any of that.”

“You do,” Jenny insists. “You’re a raven-haired beauty with amazing pouty lips. And those green eyes of yours are phenomenal. You have a good body too, you just hold yourself awkwardly as if you’re always trying to cover up.” I don’t argue that point because it’s the truth of it. I do feel uncomfortable in my own body, I just feel like I’m never quite enough. “I think you should just give it a try, just for one night, see how you feel.”

I sigh and nod slowly. “Yeah, maybe I should.” I don’t like it much but I know I need to try unless I want to give up and go home. The thought of returning to my parent’s farm with all my old-school friends gone fills me with an intense sense of horror. “When shall I come in?”

“I can call my boss, get you in for a shift tomorrow tonight? I know you’ll need a sleep so I won’t say tonight, but I have to head out there anyway so I can pick you up a uniform if they say yes. What do you think? Do you want to? Please say yes.”

“Urgh, you know what, yes.” I stand up ready to fall into bed. I hope that after a couple of hours napping I’ll be ready. “I have to do something different to prevent me go insane.”

“Great. I’ll get it sorted.” Jenny looks far too pleased, she’s making me anxious that I’m not going to like it much after all. Maybe I’ll make a fool out of myself and hate it, but at least then I’ll know. I can still keep my position open at the temping agency until I know for sure anyway. “Ooh, this is going to be so much fun!”

I don’t answer her, I just give a weak smile and stumble into my bedroom. My white, empty room that doesn’t have anything in it because I just can’t afford anything. I need to do something with my life, I can’t keep on down this track. Maybe being a shot girl isn’t something exciting and drastic happening to me, but maybe it’ll just get me on the right track for a moment. All I need is enough money to keep me going, until I decide what to do next...

***

I bolt upright in my bed thinking I’ve only been asleep for a short while, maybe ten to fifteen minutes. I didn’t mean to collapse so quickly, I didn’t even change my clothes, I suppose I better do it before I really get into a deep slumber...

Huh? What?

A uniform hangs on my bedroom door, one that must have come from Jenny. But she didn’t intend to bring me one until morning... oh. The sunlight is streaming through my window, and not just the morning sun either. As my eyes glance down at the clock I can see that I’ve slept for so long it’s almost late afternoon. I can hardly believe it, I never sleep like that! What on Earth is wrong with me?

I rub my eyes and push my weary legs into a standing position before I make my way over to the dreaded uniform. The metallic silver skirt will barely cover my butt and the crop top that somehow manages to be low cut as well has the word CeeLow on the back which is the name of the bar. I already know it’s going to leave me much too exposed. I’ll be vulnerable, probably very cold, and just there to be grabbed. In the cold light of day, I don’t think it’s such a good idea after all. I run my fingers along the edge of the material and jump backwards as something falls off it and flutters to the ground.

It’s a note, from Jenny.

‘Don’t let the uniform put you off, just give it a try. Think of the money. Be ready by six. Jenny xx’

I roll my eyes and ignore the clothes. There’s no way I can think about them with so much sleep in my eyes. I need a shower, a hot coffee, and some serious time to get my act together. If I’m even going to consider this then I have to do it with all my faculties intact.

“Hey!” Jenny cries out excitedly as soon as she sees me. “I didn’t want to wake you because you looked so peaceful sleeping. All snuggled up in your bed and snoring loudly. Do you feel better now?”

“I don’t know,” I groan back. Obviously, I’m not really talking about the long sleep part, although that’s left me a little worse for wear too. I think I’ve slept far too much. “I don’t think I can wear that tonight.”

Jenny cocks her head and gives me a curious look. She’s already half way to getting dressed for her shift at work and she looks incredible. Intimidatingly so. I know if she wasn’t my friend I would never be able to work up the courage to speak to her. “Serena, have I ever steered you wrong before?”

“Well, there was the night at karaoke when we ended up getting sick behind the bar...”

“No, seriously, you have to trust me.” Jenny comes over to me and she takes my hands in hers. I can tell that she’s dead serious with her words, but I’m not convinced she’s right still. “If I didn’t think you could do this I wouldn’t suggest it. It’s honestly more fun than work and it’s empowering too.”

“Empowering how?” I don’t get that, I don’t see how flashing my body for cash is empowering but maybe I’m the one in the wrong. Jenny certainly doesn’t act like it’s a violation of her human rights or anything.

She chooses to ignore my question, brushing past it as if it doesn’t even register in her mind. “Trust me, once you have the uniform on and you get over those first day nerves everything will be fine. I was nervous too in the beginning, but now I wouldn’t do anything else.”

Knowing Jenny she probably gets job offers every day! She’s one of the more blessed people in life who has things fall into her lap. Either that or she’s a go getter who doesn’t wait for things to happen to her. I try not to think too much about that.

“I’ll have to trust you on that one... I need to have a shower.”

“Okay, cool I’ll help you do your make up and hair when you get out. I’ll make you look a million dollars honestly. You’ll love it.”

I move into the bathroom and flick the tap on, then I let me head fall into my hands while I wait for it to heat up a bit. Was it really that bad at the train factory? Am I really making a smart move? I don’t know. I don’t feel like I know anything anymore. I just don’t see any universe in which I’m going to be able to wear those clothes and not hate every second of it.

If only I had any other option...