“She sounds like a lovely small town girl. You will have to bring her out to have dinner with me some time. Maybe at the weekend?”
“Ooh, I don’t know, Mom. Maybe, it might be too soon though. I don’t want to put the pressure on.”
“Maybe I should just pop into the city sometime then, swing by and meet her then in a much more casual setting. What do you think?”
“Yeah, that would probably work, Mom, but if you do come around please be cool. Don’t come in all heavy handed and freak her out. There’s no point in giving me that look, you know as well as I do that you could.”
Mom holds up her hands in defeat. “Fine, if I pop by I’ll be good. I won’t say anything to embarrass you.” Her face softens and I can see that she’s about to talk about Dad before she even begin. “You know, my Dad always humiliated me in front of your dad when we first started dating. It was awful, I hated him for it. I was so desperate not to give him any reason not to love me and I thought my father would be a problem... luckily he wasn’t.”
“It seems like Dad loved you a lot, Mom.” I always feel silly and stiff when I make these remarks because I don’t know. He might be genetically a part of me, but that’s it. “From everything that you’ve told me, it sounds like you had it great.”
“Let me go and get some pictures,” Mom says wistfully standing up. “I haven’t looked through the photographs in a while, but hearing about you and Serena has inspired me. You don’t mind, do you?” I shake my head, knowing that she will anyway. “Oh he would be so proud of you, finding the one.”
“I didn’t say that she’s the one Mom...”
But it’s too late, she’s already gone leaving me to stew in the sheer terror that she’s instilled in me. I know Serena isn’t expecting much, I can tell that she understands me, but what if that changes? What if our differences suddenly become too apparent and that translates into what we want? What if this is all novelty at the moment, and it wears off? What if just as I’m getting bored, Serena is getting more into it? Or the other way around, I can’t deny it could happen that way too...
Oh God, just stop it, I warn myself. I knew this would happen, coming to see Mom. I just need to stop freaking out before I wreck everything.
I get up and pace the room while I wait for Mom to come back with the endless photographs. There’s far too much of an itch in my foot for me to keep still. It’s okay, logically I’m sure it’ll be fine if me and Serena take this one step at a time, but now my brain is a bit too messy for that to be the only thought I have.
“Ooh, look, I’ve found one where he looks just like you.” Mom’s back and she has the photos with her. “Same eyes, same hair, same everything.”
Maybe getting myself lost in the past for a little while will help me to forget about my uncertain present. It’ll keep Mom distracted too, and since she’s the one pushing for me to have a happy ever after, she’s the one I need to calm down. The wild dancing look in her eyes is already dying down, if I can just get her to forget about Serena for long enough so I can leave without her messing me up even more, then that’s what I’ll do.
“Let me have a look. Mom.” I take the picture from her, trying to ignore the sheer pain it gives me inside. This isn’t for me, this is for Mom. I’ll do anything to keep her happy. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen that one before.”
Chapter Fourteen – Serena
I’m singing, actually humming a tune with happiness as I set about making breakfast for me and Ben. Jenny has left for her cruise, the rug of my life has been yanked out from underneath me, and yet I’m happy. I guess not all change has to be bad news.
Admittedly, I was a little nervous when I first moved into Ben’s home. There was a small part of me that could see over the rose tinted glasses into everything that could go wrong, but nothing has so far. It’s been smooth sailing. I have my own room – not that I’ve stayed in there much to be honest – we have our own space and privacy, but we can be together a lot too. It’s actually really awesome. Every moment I spend with Ben I find myself liking him more and more, he’s growing on me in the best way possible. I feel like I might well be falling in love with him, and it’s the most gorgeous, velvety feeling of all.
Of course, he wants me to leave the club and at first I thought I wanted that too, but as I spoke to the manager, who I now know is called Burt, he freaked out. Me and Jenny leaving at the same time was just too much for him at once. Apparently he doesn’t have as many girls wanting the job as he once did. So I negotiated with him. I asked him if I could take a couple of shifts a week behind the bar in normal clothing, which is something that I’m much better at than being a shot girl anyway. I actually quite like it, even if the money is less. It gives me some independence and a little bit of a nest egg to get me started when the moment comes.
“Good morning.” Ben comes up behind me and he circles my waist with his arms. As he buries his face into my hair my heart races faster. Everything he does makes me feel amazing, I have yet to find anything I don’t like about him. “How are you doing today?”
“I’m good,” I reply with a smile on my face. “I’m just cooking you some eggs because I know you must have a busy day at the office today.”
“I might not go into work today,” he replies while running kisses over my neck. “I might just stay home with you all day.”
I turn around and I wrap my arms around his neck. I push myself up onto my tiptoes so I can press my lips up against his. “I don’t think you should take any time off work because of me, I don’t want everything to go under without you.”
“It won’t,” he insists. “I have people who can do everything for me.”
“But you were never away before.” I don’t phrase this as a question, despite the fact that I don’t really know the answer. I just assume that’s the case judging by his ambitious nature. “So I don’t want you to change things up for me.”
He wraps his fingers around my butt and smirks. “I know, but I want to. You’re so damn worth it.”
The dream is so real, I try not to get caught up in the whirlwind nature
of it anymore. Somehow, we’re making it work. Ben hasn’t been out partying every single night since I’ve moved in, he prefers to spend time with me, I think he’s actually calmed down quite a lot, and I find myself opening up to him more than I ever have anyone before. We’ve changed each other, and I think it’s in a really good way. So far it seems like we’ve brought the best out in one another.
“Well you have to have breakfast first, I didn’t spend all morning slaving over it for nothing!” I take a step back and Ben lets me. He’s so horny all the time, but he’s also really respectful when I want to do other things as well. I think I’ve met the perfect man in him. “I’ve made this nice for you, whether you’re going to work or not, and I’m going to make sure that you do, so take a seat and wait for it.”
“Ooh, I do love it when you boss me around,” Ben teases. “I’ll just sit right here like a good boy and wait for it.”
I plate up the food and put it in front of him. Then I join him at the dining table to eat my own. I only have one of Ben’s oversized tee shirts on, it barely covers my butt, but around Ben I don’t have any reason to feel self conscious. Nothing can be worse than the shot girl attire, and that’s what I was wearing when he fell for me.