Broken

sier to rent one for the occasion. I carried my small bag back downstairs and hopped into the limo that was parked out front. The driver wasn’t my usual but then again, nothing was really the same after five years away. As we drove along, I stared out at the passing farms, the crops brown and withered, and the trees dancing in vibrant colors of oranges and reds. Casey immediately flew through my mind. What I told my sister, though flighty in nature, had to be the truth. I was leaving and wasn’t sure how long I would be gone this time. There was no way I could promise my time to Casey in any concrete way. That night five years ago was so amazing it kept my mind occupied through all these years but it was just that, a memory. One that had repercussions.

I knew Casey would love more than anything to settle down like Natalie and Brandon but I just knew I wasn’t ready to do that. She needed a man who was here for her completely. I was here but only in spirit most of the time, regardless of how much I would worship her sexy body and lose myself in her steaming green eyes. It wasn’t a good idea to try to repeat that night. I needed to remember that, feel good about it, and move on with life. That was what was best for both of us, regardless of what my cock tried to tell me. As I repeated the words over and over to myself, I could feel a pang in my chest, something I hadn’t felt in a very long time. I breathed deeply and pulled my briefcase into my lap, ignoring the feeling and trying to focus my mind on something else, anything that did not have to do with Casey.

As we got closer and closer to home, I started pushing myself back into my work with my usual avid determination. I promised my sister I would leave Casey alone and I needed to stick to my word. Still, as we passed through Brooklyn, I looked out at the row houses and wondered what that beautiful girl was doing right at that exact moment.

Chapter 6: Casey

I was glad to be back home, back in my normal routine, and back remembering why exactly I left the wedding without a word. I could hear Seth packing up his pencils and crayons after he finished drawing his latest building. He was obsessed with drawing buildings, whether they were giant skyscrapers or little houses in the country. He was my little architect. As I heard him jump down and start running through the kitchen, I chuckled to myself, remembering he was only four years old. His light brown hair and hazel eyes made him look almost like my twin, which was good since I didn’t want anyone to know who his father was. However, when he curled up in my lap, shy and timid, and looked up at me with his big smile, I could see Dex hidden under the surface. It broke my heart every single time but I knew the choice had been mine and therefore the consequences were mine to bear.

My mother’s laugh behind me drew me from my thoughts as she caught Seth and sat him in the chair, tickling him to get him to calm down. It was dinner time and my favorite time of the day since I could sit with my family and talk about the week. It would be a week as of tomorrow since I escaped the warm, comforting clutches of Dex at the wedding but I still couldn’t get him off my mind. I worked all week, trying to make some extra money. My mother wanted me to continue to have a life and I knew she really loved looking after Seth. It was like he finally gave her something to do that took her mind off the silence that haunted our house since my father died. She was livelier than ever and I could see the young woman I remembered from when I was a small child burn inside her eyes.

I pulled the potatoes from the stove and scraped them into a large bowl, plopped a spoon in them, and joined my mother and son at the table. Though I loved feeding my son, I let my mother have the honor at dinner. It always brought a smile to her tired face. Seth was a lucky boy, he had two people who loved him more than the world. I sat down at the table and began to pass the food over to my mother. As soon as she handed it back to me and I went to fill my plate, a knock echoed from the front door. I looked up at my mother who stared at me with unknowing eyes. She had already begun feeding Seth so I sighed, set the food down, and pushed back from the table. It was probably some salesman trying to sell us more of something we didn’t need. I grabbed the door handle and opened the door, looking down at my messy hands.

“I’m sorry,” I said, noticing an expensive pair of shoes in front of me. “We don’t want….”

As my eyes moved up a very expensive pair of slacks and over the chest of a very strong and fit man, my eyes landed on Dex’s beautiful grin. My mouth dropped open for a moment and I stood there, just staring at him in the doorway. He was holding a beautiful bouquet of fall themed flowers and looked slightly awkward standing in a dirty hallway, primed and tailored for the big city. He raised his eyebrows and shifted in his stance.

“Um, may I come in?” I shook the look from my face and moved to the side, shut the door and stepped back in front of him. My heart raced, knowing he knew nothing about Seth, not even the fact that he existed at all. Seth’s laughter floated through the air and I watched as Dex’s face scrunched slightly in confusion.

“We just sat down to eat,” I said sheepishly, looking down at the floor.

I watched him look around the room, realizing he hadn’t been back here since the night we had amazing sex on the same couch that was still sitting in the living room. The smell of his cologne was intoxicating as he unbuttoned his suit jacket and casually stuck his hands in his pockets. I knew he was waiting for me to invite him to dinner but I didn’t know what I should do. If he came back there, he was going to meet Seth and I was terrified that he would put two and two together. I shifted uncomfortably in my shoes, trying to stall so I could come up with a good enough excuse. I could tell he wasn’t going to leave until he came into the kitchen. I sucked in a deep breath and met his gaze, feeling my heart flutter under the pressure of his deep blue eyes. God, why did he have to be so sexy?

“Would you like to come into the kitchen with me?” As soon as the words left my mouth, I was overcome with fear. On one hand, I couldn’t think of a better face to open the door to but on the other hand, I hadn’t even mentioned my son to Dex. I knew this introduction would be difficult. He smiled and reached up, pushing a piece of hair out of my face.

“I brought these for you,” he said, handing over the flowers.

“Thank you. They’re beautiful,” I said with a smile. “Well, let me get them into some water.”

I turned toward the kitchen and held my breath as we walked toward the room where my mother and son were waiting. As I rounded the corner, I glanced over at my mom who froze. She quickly recovered, clearing her throat and smiling at Dex. I grabbed a vase off the counter and turned around to watch Dex’s face when he found Seth sitting at the table. I watched as he tried to hide his surprise of finding my mother sitting at the table feeding a four-year-old boy. It took him a second but he used his normal charm to twist that surprised expression into a nice smile. I wanted to grab his attention, completely fearful that he would start to put two and two together but I also didn’t want to make it obvious.

“So, Mom, you remember Dex,” I said, smiling.

“Yes,” she said with a kind wave. “How are you, sweetheart?”

“I’m well, thank you,” he said.

“And that little messy bug right there is my son, Seth,” I said, holding my breath and waiting for his reaction.

“Hey little buddy.” Dex chuckled. Seth looked at him with wide eyes before putting his head down with flushed cheeks. He was really shy just like I was and it took him a long time to open up to new people, which was good since I didn’t want Dex to have any idea that Seth was his son. “You’re shy just like your momma.”

I finished filling the vase with water and arranged the flowers inside, walking over and setting it on the table. I figured it would be rude to not invite Dex to join us. As much as I wished he would simply excuse himself and leave, I feared he would continue to stare awkwardly at the three of us. I sat down and pulled out the chair next to me, looking up at Dex.

“Would you like to join us?”

“Oh, uh, no. I wish I could but I have another meeting across town,” he said, shaking his head.

“Still working? You are a busy man,” my mother said with a chuckle.

“Yeah, my company never lets me rest,” he said uncomfortably before turning to me. “I actually just stopped by to see if you would have dinner with me tomorrow night.”

I put the napkin back on the table and walked over to the counter to get a glass of water. My heart was beating uncontrollably and I tried to hide the fact that my hands were shaking. I knew it was a terrible idea to be alone with him again. The battle between good and evil began in my head and I could feel three sets of heavy eyes staring me down. I set the glass on the counter and took a deep breath, trying to weigh my options as fast as I could. Finally, realizing I couldn’t make him wait forever, I turned back to him and smiled.

“Sure,” I said with a forced smile. “I’d love to.”

“Great,” he said, letting out his held breath. “So, I’ll pick you up at six?”

“Mom?” I hoped she was going to say she had some mission event but she didn’t.