Broken

There was already a cab sitting out front so I was more than glad to not have to wait to find a ride. I climbed inside and shut the door, staring up at the window to the suite. I couldn’t understand how this happened so fast. I told myself I was going to have a good time because I deserved it but already, I could feel the familiar ache in my heart. He was the only man I had ever given myself to and now, he was back and just the same Dex as before. He couldn’t give me what I wanted, I wanted much more than he was offering. As the car pulled off and sped toward home, I thought about my life, my son, and my family, realizing I got caught up in a fairytale again. I wasn’t thinking about the reality of the situation. There was no way Dex was going to give his heart to me, not the way I wanted him to. I needed to come to terms with that or the pain would only get worse.

As I walked into my apartment after a long night and stared at my little boy sleeping in his bed, I knew I made the right decision. I couldn’t be my best with a broken heart and that was exactly where I was headed with Dex.

Chapter 9: Dex

It was the first Saturday I actually wished I was working. It had been a week since Casey snuck past me at the hotel and bolted. I still could not get her off my mind. All I wanted to do was drive over and show up on Casey’s doorstep so I can see her beautiful face again. I sent her two dozen roses but heard nothing. I texted, called, and left a voicemail asking her to please call me back but she simply refused to talk to me or see me. I was going absolutely nuts over this girl. Ultimately, I couldn’t figure out why I was going so nuts over her to begin with. I had never in my life been so desperate to see a girl. I had never left a voicemail asking a girl if she had time to see me. If they didn’t answer when I called, I moved on to the next one. But with Casey, I just didn’t know who I could ever move on with. It felt like there was nowhere else to go.

Our attraction was so deep it drove me crazy. No matter what I did, when I was around her I couldn’t help but think about getting her naked. I wanted to feel her skin, hear her voice, taste her sweet core. At the same time, I would have been happy to just sit with her and talk. It was insane. Maybe it was just the attraction, maybe I was reading too much into all of it, or maybe I had been working so hard at work that Casey provided a nice distraction. But feeling this way was definitely not relaxing, it was the complete opposite. Whatever the reason, I tried my best to not analyze it too deeply, feeling myself getting completely caught up in the moment. I no longer just thought about having sex with Casey but I thought about our conversations, our jokes, her laugh, and everything else that happened between us.

I stood up, sipping my coffee, and began to pace. I needed to decide what to do about this. I tried completely forgetting about her and moving on but that folded with the first text I sent. I tried looking at her as just a really great piece of ass but then I felt guilty for demeaning her that way. I should have listened to my sister from the beginning and not messed with Casey. If I did that, I would be enjoying my time in New York instead of sitting here pacing my penthouse apartment and trying to come up with excuses to knock on her door. Who was I kidding, I was hooked before I even got back to New York. Just thinking about how her and how much I wanted to spend another amazing night with her was enough to captivate me completely. This girl really burrowed her way into my head and though I was constantly burying any thought that we could be more than lust, I couldn’t help but feel that disgusting lurch in my gut.

I shook my head and grabbed my jacket. I was done torturing myself. I took the elevator down to the lobby and out into the street, grabbing a cab, and giving them Casey’s address. I wasn’t going to sit around and be miserable. No, she was going to have to tell me to my face that she didn’t want me around instead of sneaking out the back door for a third time. As we drove through town, I looked out the window at all the Halloween decorations and suddenly, I had a brilliant idea that ended with me at Casey’s door, lugging one of the biggest pumpkins I had ever seen. I rested the pumpkin on my knee and knocked on the door. When it opened, Andrea stood there, looking down at the pumpkin and then back at me. A knowing smirk crossed her lips as she waved me inside the house.

“Casey is getting Seth dressed,” she said. “Go ahead into the kitchen so you can put that thing down.”

I could hear Seth laughing and shrieking in the other room as I entered the kitchen. The patter of little feet echoed and I turned to see Seth screaming his way into the kitchen, not wearing any pants. As soon as he saw me, he froze in an almost comical position. Immediately, his cheeks turned red and his hands went down, clutched in front of him. There was that shyness that I remembered from when I first met Casey. I smiled down at Seth as Casey rounded the corner looking frazzled.

“Seth,” she said breathlessly. “You have to wear pants, I don’t…”

I straightened up and put my hand on the pumpkin, smiling kindly. I could see a twitch of a smile on the corner of her mouth before she straightened her face and pulled Seth’s pants over his legs. I watched as her patience seemed

to be limitless with the little boy, but not so limitless for me. I glanced over at the two vases filled with roses and took notice that she had, in fact, received them.

“What are you doing here?”

“Oh, I thought I would bring over this giant pumpkin so Seth could make a jack-o-lantern,” I said, bending down toward the red-faced little boy. “Do you know what a jack-o-lantern is?

Seth shook his head and looked back at his mom. She nodded her head and pushed him forward. His eyes sparkled just like his mothers.

“This is a pumpkin,” I explained. “They grow all over the country side. For Halloween, we take them, pull all the seeds out, and carve funny faces on them. Then, we put candles inside and they glow at night.”

Seth’s eyes grew big and it surprised me that he had never carved a pumpkin before. He reached up and touched the smooth skin of the pumpkin so I pulled it off the table and let him touch the big stem. He looked at my arms and then down at his and tried to lift the beast into the air. I laughed, stabilizing it so it wouldn’t fall over and smash his toes.

“It’s pretty heavy,” I said. “This is one of the biggest pumpkins I have ever seen, so I thought you should have it.”

“Thank you,” he said timidly.

I watched as Seth looked around the pumpkin, tapped it, tried to move it, and repeatedly looked back to his mother for reassurance. I wanted to do something with Casey and her family. I wanted to show I wasn’t a bad guy, at least not bad enough to warrant her sneaking away without a word. Twice. I thought for a second before standing up and looking at Casey and Andrea. I knew this might piss Casey off but I didn’t care, there was no way I was leaving yet.

“So, it’s Saturday,” I said. “There’s a farm about an hour outside the city. They have hay rides, a petting zoo, hot apple cider, and most importantly, more pumpkins. Why don’t we bundle up, jump in my car, and go out there for the day? I think Seth would really like it.”

I looked at Andrea first, not wanting to see the irritation I knew was on Casey’s face. Her eyes widened and she clapped her hands, calling Seth over to her. She seemed really excited about spending the day out in the country, which made me happy too. She bent down and looked at Seth smiling.

“What do you think, little man, do you want to go for a hay ride and pick pumpkins? Mr. Dex knows the perfect spot,” she said in her loving grandmother voice.

Seth nodded his head feverishly and laughed, looking over at his mother. Andrea looked up at Casey, waiting for her response. I figured since they were staring her down I might as well also. She looked really irritated but with the sound of Seth’s giggles and my big wide smile, her face began to soften. She rolled her eyes and nodded, sighing deeply as if she’d been defeated. Seth jumped up and down and took off toward his room.

“Mom, can you make sure he puts on something warm, please,” Casey said to Andrea.

“Of course, dear. You find a sweater yourself,” she said, tapping Casey’s bare arms.

I waited by the door until everyone was packed and ready, grabbing the car seat and carrying it down for Casey. I called my smaller limo to come pick us up as I waited, realizing I was in such a rush to get here that I took a taxi. Seth gasped at the car as we walked down the side walk. I put the car seat right across from where I sat so I could talk to him while we rode along. When Seth was buckled in and everyone was loaded up, we set out for the country. I pulled a bottle of wine from the fridge and poured the adults a glass, grabbing a can of juice for Seth.

“So, Seth, do you like Halloween?” I wanted him to get comfortable with me if we were going to spend the entire day together.

“Mmhmm,” he said between gulps. “Did you know a long time ago they wore costumes to scare away the ghosts?”

“I did know that,” I said in an impressed voice.