This is the thing that sickens me. I know I could be more successful in America, I know I could be rolling in all the money in the world if I took it, but the main reason they want me now is because my brother was killed and I was shot. I’m a news story. I’ve probably gone viral online, my story is surely everywhere. They want me like I’m a commodity and I don’t know if that’s what I want for my future. Life is too short to be unhappy.
Plus, it isn’t just me that my decision affects. I glance backwards towards Tia’s room and consider what she wants. Really, all I want is to be in the same country as her. What’s happened now has ensured that I definitely cannot live without her. She’s car crashed into my life, affected me deeply, and now all I want is to spend the rest of my life making her happy.
“I’m sorry, Bonnie,” I say smilingly while tugging the phone away from my ear. “I don’t know how to answer this question right now, I need more time. I know that probably doesn’t suit, but…” I hang up before I can finish my sentence, but I really don’t care anymore. I want to continue doing music, but I don’t want to sell my soul for it.
I glance at the screen of my phone and scroll to the text messages I’ve ben sharing with a music producer back in Wellington. It isn’t a big operation out there in New Zealand, it won’t make me nearly as much money, but I could be happier and freer. That’s another choice. Maybe that’s the one I really want to take, I don’t know yet.
I haven’t wanted to be truly famous for a very long time, I remind myself as I look at the screen. That hasn’t been in my plan for ages. Now I also have the woman that I love to consider. She has a life in New Zealand, and one here too.
It’s up to her, it has to be. With a loud, determined sigh, I push the door to her bedroom back open and I step inside to watch her happily squirreling away with her writing all over again. I tiptoe across the room, not wanting to disturb her, and I sit on the edge of her sheets just waiting for her to get to a stopping point. I know now not to talk to her when she’s in the middle of a sentence if I don’t want to be on the wrong end of her wrath.
I prop my elbows onto my knees and rest my head on my hands as I watch her. I’m glad that I can bend this way now. The wound has healed enough for me to move now but I’ll always have a big scar to remind me of that night… not that I think I can forget it anytime soon.
“Right.” Tia spins on her chair to look at me. I can see a fire in her gaze which makes me happy. She looks so damn beautiful when she has that spark within her. It always reminds me why I fell in love with her in the first place. She’s spunky, fun, passionate, ambitious, lovely… I just love everything about her. “Who was that on the phone?”
I guess it’s now or never. Time to just tell her everything. I haven’t wanted to hide it from her, I just haven’t wanted to pile the pressure on while she’s writing, but I know what Tia is like. She’ll be like a dog with a bone now that she suspects something. It’s time to just blurt it all out and be truthful with her.
“That was a record label,” I tell her with a blush. “In America. A pretty big one that wants to sign me up, help me to release some albums and tour.”
Initially her eyes widen with happiness, she looks pleased for me that my dreams are coming true, but before she can say anything it dawns on her the implications of this decision. She suddenly sees that this isn’t just a straight forward thing. “Oh,” she practically whispers. “Right, I see. And what do you think about that?”
“It isn’t the only offer I’ve had,” I admit. “And not all of them take place in America.” I give her a one shouldered shrug and fix my eyes on the ground while I continue. “Of course the ones that are better money are here, there’s no escaping that, but I have also been given opportunities in New Zealand. I guess with what you’ve just been saying, it’s time to decide what we want to do next.”
She pushes her chair back stands up, pacing the room with her hands clasped behind her back as if she’s really troubled by this information. “And what do you want to do? I mean, I suppose I could do my writing anywhere if you want me with you…”
“Of course I want you with me,” I insist with a chuckle. “I want to do whatever you want.”
She turns to give me an imploring look under her eyelashes, making my heart melt. “And what do you think would be best for you? What do you think your best option is?”
“Honestly?” I reply while grasping her hands. “I think I will be richer in America, but happier in New Zealand. Where do you think you could find the most happiness?”
She slumps against my chest and warps her arms around my waist. I envelop her in a hug while I wait for her answer. This is a big life decision that lays ahead of us. I don’t want her to make a snap decision while under pressure.
“I want to be in New Zealand,” she finally admits. “I don’t feel like I have anything but bad memories in America. I was lonely here, miserable, my father lives here. Even if he’s in prison, he’s still everywhere in this house. Plus Stephen died here, and you got shot. I just want to be in Wellington with my friends and my job… plus your parents. They don’t deserve to lose another son.”
I pull back to look at her seriously. “But what about your mother? Doesn’t she need you?”
Her face tightens, I can see anger flashing in her eyes. Maybe that was the wrong thing to say. “I love my mother, but I’m sure she will be just fine without me. She’s had me for some time, but she’s an adult and she needs to live with the choices that she’s made. I’m sure she’ll be fine anyway, she isn’t alone. She has friends. I need to do what’s right for me, and I think that’s being in New Zealand.”
I dip my head down gently kiss the top of her head in a loving way. “If that’s what you want then that’s what I want too.” My whole chest expands with happiness and relief, this is what I’ve wanted, I just needed Tia to agree with me before I could settle on it. “We’re going to be very happy me and you, I just know it.”
Chapter Twenty Four - Tia
As soon as the decision is made and I know that we’ll be leaving America soon, a freedom bursts in my chest. I push myself up onto my tiptoes to reach Kian’s high up lips so I can kiss them with everything that I feel for him. I’m so glad that he wants me because he’s all that I want too. I cannot imagine spending even one more day of my life without him.
I don’t want to remain in America, even if the opportunities are better. There are too many bad memories here that I never want to think about again. I would much rather be in my safe haven where all of this is miles away, with my friendship group and my happy life. However, if Kian had told me then that he wanted to stay in America, I would do it for him. I love him too damn much, I would do anything for this wonderful man.
My fingers idly trace up his stomach where I find the scar left behind from his injury. I delicately brush it, noticing for the first time in a very long time that he isn’t wincing from the pain. He must be on his way to getting better, fully better, which is awesome.
“How are you feeling now?” I mutter against his lips. “Are you okay?”
“Good enough for this.” His hands circle my waist and I start to feel the material of my top slide up over my head. There’s a deep passion as he curls his finger tips around the material which I haven’t felt in a very long time. I’ve been trying to contain myself, to hold the deep fiery need inside until Kian is better, and now finally it seems like that time has come. My heart beats faster as goose bumps prickle along my now, naked skin.
“Are you sure?” I ask breathlessly as I feel a deep throbbing all over my body. My core is already pulsating desperately and he hasn’t even confirmed that this is going to happen yet. “You aren’t still too hurt, are you?” I don’t want to hurt him more, even if I want it.
“I’m not too hurt for you, n
o,” he growls while nipping at my bottom lip with his teeth. “I have hated holding back. I don’t think I can do it for another second longer.”