Broken

She pushes the door open and moves to the back of the car to go and help her father out. I leap out rapidly to help them both too. I need to remember that there are other lives going on around my internal dilemma. Lola’s father is tired now, he needs a bit of help to get back into the house, but actually he does seem to have more strength than he did when I first saw him again after the last year. Maybe the new treatment is working, maybe it’s genuinely helping him, I suppose only time will tell.

Once we get Lola’s dad in and into bed, a bit of an awkward tension fills the air because neither of us know what to do next. I probably should go back to the city to get ready for tomorrow, but I don’t know if I want to. No, I definitely don’t want to. I want to reschedule all of my meetings and to stay here for the night with Lola. If that’s what she wants. We’ve both admitted that we love one another now, but that’s all that we’ve said. I really think that we need to talk some more.

We move back to the outside area and slowly walk towards Lola’s cottage. Her hand reaches out and she grabs onto mine so she can pull her closer to me. “I don’t know if you want to,” she asks me quietly. “But do you want to come inside for a bit? I know you might need to get back, I just want to put the offer out there.”

“Yes,” I nod decisively while mentally planning out all the emails I’ll need to send. Now that I’m in control of the company, I can be the one who decides whether I pick career or love. Actually what I want is to be able to do both. “I would definitely like that.”

I suck in and hold a breath as Lola opens the door to the past that I also want to make my present. As the internal area of the cottage is revealed, all the memories become even more powerful and I’m left wondering how the hell I walked

away from all of this. Did I honestly believe that I would find another love anything like this? What a fool.

“Is this still the same too?” Lola asks with a grin as we go in. “I don’t think I’ve changed anything.”

“The cushions on your chairs are different.” I glance around, drinking it all in. I might love my home, but I adore it here too. Somehow it doesn’t feel like it’s too small even though it’s tiny. “And you have your guitar in a different place, but that’s it.”

Lola flops down on one of the chairs and I take the one opposite her. I lean on the arm of the chair and give her an intense look. Her red hair flops down over her face a little which just reminds me of all the wonderful sexy adventures we had that summer.

“So I suppose there are some things that we need to talk about. Don’t you think?” I ask her cautiously. “I know it feels like all we’ve done is talk this time around, but I think it’s fruitful for us to talk, don’t you?”

Lola laughs, but I can hear the strain behind the sound. She’s struggling with this just as much as I am. “Yeah, you got that right. But what? I’ve been trying to think about it all day long, and I don’t know how to make this any easier. All I want to do is dive into his head first, but we both have responsibilities.”

“Oh I know, I do see that, and I think I might have a plan.”

Her eyes lighten up. “You do? Really?”

“Yeah, I do, but I warn you that it won’t be easy, but I’m sure you’re expecting that.”

“Yeah, I know, but if we both want it enough, we can do it, right?”

“I think we should alternate,” I tell her as if it’s obvious. “I think when you need to be here and I have to be in the city we’ll just have to get on with it, but when we can we switch between being in the city and being here. That way we can help look after your father when he needs it, you can do any recording stuff that comes along, and I can do my business.”

Lola nods but her eyes suggest that she’s not totally sure. “That sounds wonderful, and like it’ll be really awesome. But it’ll just be so hard.”

“I don’t care though. Do you? It won’t feel difficult to me because that’s what I’ll want to do it.”

She pauses for a moment but eventually she nods. “Okay, well if that’s what you want, we have to give it a go, don’t we? We owe it to ourselves to try.”

Chapter 29 – Lola

Brandon’s kiss is tender and sweet. I can feel love pouring from his mouth as well as passion. It’s different, but in a really good way. I didn’t think I would like anything to be different, but I do. It makes my hands reach up to grab onto his cheeks and I hold him close to me. At least this time I know that we both do want this enough to try, so I don’t have to let him go. The fear that we might lose one another isn’t there anymore.

I take Brandon’s hand and I walk him over to my bed. Once there, I climb under the sheets and I pat the space next to me to make some room for him. He pauses for a moment, but only to smile down at me as if I’m someone he truly does love.

“I love you,” he whispers, only confirming what he’s thinking. “I really do love you.”

“I love you too.” I reach out my hands for him to grab. “Now come here.”

Brandon kicks off his shoes and his trousers and he climbs into the bed beside me. The warmth of his body feels so nice next to me. I slide my leg closer to his and the electricity races right through me. Then we lie there next to one another for just a moment, looking at one another, our eyes filled with love.

Eventually I can’t stand it anymore, I turn onto my side and I throw my leg right across him. I tug him nearer to me and soon he turns on his side to face me. His forehead rests against mine and he curls his hand around my arm to hold me in place.

“You’re amazing,” Brandon mutters. “I’m so damn lucky.”

As his lips edge closer to mine I’m reminded of our very first kiss on that magical night when I first laid eyes on him. How little I knew then how important the sexy stranger that was sweeping through town would become to me. My heart races, my core pounds, every inch of me is on fire. But it isn’t the usual, desperate fire that I feel around Brandon, it’s slower, more sensual, romantic even.

And slowly we peel the clothes off of one another, brushing our hands over each other’s skin as we go. I feel Brandon’s hard muscles, his soft skin, his perfect and his flaws, and I love every part of him. Yes, he isn’t perfect, but nor am I. I don’t need perfection from the man in my life, I just need someone who’s going to love me wholeheartedly and make up for anything he does do wrong. I need him.

Once we’re naked, Brandon pulls me on top of him and he kisses me gently. I straddle over him and angle myself just over his tip, teasing him for just a moment. “You know, I’m not always as prepared as you. Did you bring any protection with you?” When his eyes widen in shock and disappointment, I burst into laughter. “It’s fine. I do actually have something I’m just playing around.”