I don’t know why I feel so emotional, I don’t know why she’s getting to me, I know what Annabelle is like, I know exactly what she’s capable of, so why do I care? Why do I give a shit? I’ve been so confident in me and Will, I haven’t let anyone bother me, but just one short phone call from Annabelle and I’m a mess.
“Hey.” All of a sudden, I hear Will’s voice as he bounds up the stairs, two at a time. “You okay?”
He gives me this heart stopping smile and I can feel all my worries melting away. How can I let Annabelle get to me when I have this wonderful guy? She’s jealous and it makes her nasty. She probably doesn’t even care that she’s married now, she won’t want anyone else to ever find someone. Well, tough shit.
“Oh, I just had a call from Annabelle,” I tell him, trying to be honest but breezy at the same time. “I don’t think that things are going too well with her and Landon. She was being a bit… well, crazy.”
Will chuckles and wraps his arms around me. “Well, that’s their problem, not ours.”
As he kisses me, I feel like I need to tell him more, I want him to understand. “She isn’t happy about us.”
He pulls back and looks at me, almost as if he’s finally registering my reaction to that. “Oh, I see. Well, that’s a bit shit, isn’t it? But, I mean, does it really matter? Who cares what she thinks?”
“Do you think Landon might hate it as well?” Will shrugs, totally unbothered. “You don’t care?”
“No, of course not. Why would I care? Sure, he’s my friend, but who gives a shit?”
Hmm, I guess he’s right. Maybe I’ve always been a bit of a people pleaser but Will definitely isn’t. I’ve started pleasing less people ever since I’ve been hanging out with Will, but maybe that isn’t the worst thing. It makes me feel good anyway, finally doing something for me. Why shouldn’t I be with him if I’m not happy? So what if Michelle thinks he’s a player and Annabelle assumes he’s dangerous? I’m the one who knows him.
“Come on, let’s go in. I’m cooking for you tonight, and I want to hear all about your day.”
“I’m not sure that you do. It was dissecting frogs day, it was properly disgusting.”
“Honey, I’m a cop. I’m sure I’ve seen worse than…” But then he mock gags as if he can’t hack it. “You know what? I don’t think I want to know about frogs and their guts after all. Forget I said anything. I’ll tell you about the dead bodies we found instead. That’s a much easier topic to go with.”
Maybe he’s joking, but that probably is something he needs to deal with on a day to day basis. I’m not stupid, I do know what cop work involves, but actually thinking about it is crazy. I haven’t ever seen a dead body before and I don’t think I could hack it. This world might well be a bit too much for me… luckily, I’m out of it.
Stop it, I warn myself. Don’t overthink it. Just enjoy it for what it is.
“Okay, so no work talk,” I say decidedly. That’s probably a very good long term rule. “What do you want to watch tonight?” This is definitely a staying in night, I think we’re both too exhausted, me emotionally so.
“You pick. I’m going to get food cooking.” There it is, that voltage smile. “Okay?”
I slump onto the couch and stare at the black screen for a while, working things out in my brain. I don’t want to have any doubts, I’m very happy living in the bubble that I’ve been in. I don’t really have any, I am still secure enough, but I just wish that everyone else could see what I do when it comes to Will. I hate having to defend myself. Maybe if me and Will were official then I could suggest that we all hang out or something, give people a chance to see the real him, but I can’t push him. Not if commitment isn’t his thing. I’ll just have to wait and try to be patient. I can do that, surely? A bit of patience isn’t too much to ask.
“Are you sure that you’re okay?” Will calls from the kitchen. “Annabelle hasn’t upset you, has she?”
See? He can see right through me. He knows what I’m feeling without me even needing to tell him. That’s because of our deep connection, we have something intense between us, something that others wouldn’t understand. “Yeah, I’m good. She did get through to me a bit, but you’re right, I shouldn’t care.”
Will peeks his head into the room and he gives me a narrow eyed look. “Okay, that’s it. We’re going to do something. We’re going to go out and… and… I don’t know, what do you want to do?”
“Mmm, I don’t want to do anything?” I shake my head quickly. “Let’s just stay here.”
“Nope. I refuse.” He puts his hands underneath my arm pits and lifts me up. “I’m not going to let you wallow until you fall asleep, which I know is exactly what you’re planning to do, by the way.” He’s right about that. Much as I’d like to disagree, I can’t. “Come on, let me buy you some fries and a glass of wine.”
“Fries? Wine?” I give him a look. “Yeah, that’s a great combination.”
“It sounds good though, doesn’t it?”
I don’t really want to get off my ass, but something about Will’s offer is tempting me. Maybe some fresh air and some life outside these walls might be just what I need. Finally, I cave and I nod with a laugh. Even when things feel shit, Will can make it okay again. Fuck everyone else and their opinions, fuck what they think of me. This is about to become the best thing ever.
“Fine, fuck it, let’s do this. Let’s go out for wine and fries. You insane bastard.”
“Yeah, that’s more like it! Shall we cheer?” He sees my unimpressed expression. “No, you’re probably right. We shouldn’t do that. In fact, we probably shouldn’t even mention that I ever said that?”
“Oh no, we wouldn’t want to ruin your super cool reputation! Slick Officer Will Yoker.”
“I know, right?” He rolls his eyes. “People expect things from me.”