Fatal Attraction (Dark Desires 4)

“Right, well I think that’s decided then,” I continue deflated. “I’m off.”

I pause for just a second longer for him to reach out to me to stop me, but it seems that me and Will are on the same page for the first time in months. I hate that I’m losing my family unit, this is what I want, but if it’s like this then what’s the point? Why should I bother fighting for something that’s never going to happen? It’s a losing battle. Finally, I can see this for what it really is. It’s nothing. It’s not my fantasy.

I grip onto the door handle and I turn it slowly, trying to keep the tears inside before I escape. Once I’m in Michelle’s house, I can crumble and fall apart then, but I don’t want Will to see it.

“Oh, shit!” I cry out in shock as something very unexpected happens. “No, not yet, not now!”

I glance down, horror filling my eyes. I cannot believe it, this is just freaking typical! It’s not supposed to be right yet, I have at least a week left. This is early, I have to find a way to stop it, at least until I leave…

“What’s going on?” Will demands, instantly reaching towards his holster for his gun. “What’s happened?”

“No, no, nothing like that. It’s just…” I give him a hopeless look. “My waters have broken.”

“Does that mean…” All of a sudden, he sounds much less confident. “The baby…”

I nod. “Yep. The baby is coming. Now, at the worst fucking time. I have to go to the hospital.”

“Have you had no signs?” Oh God, Will is panicking. “No contractions, or whatever?”

“I’ve been in pain, but I just thought it was the stress. I didn’t realize…” No, we can’t argue the toss about this right now, it’s a waste of time. “Do you know what? Forget it, just please get me to the hospital.”

After that argument, I don’t know what Will is going to do when we get there. He might leave me to go through it alone since he doesn’t seem too concerned with our child, but that’s not my main priority. He can’t be my focus anymore, I have something new now. My baby boy is coming no matter what I want.

“Yes, I’ll get the car now.” Will’s face has lost all its color which isn’t a great sign. “You just… wait. I’ll… I’ll… I don’t know what I’m supposed to do.”

If he’d been less preoccupied recently then he would, but there’s no point in delving into that right now. “It’s fine. Let’s just get out of here now unless you want me to give birth on your carpet. I’m sure that’s the last thing you need. The clean up will be horrible.”

He tries to laugh at my crappy joke, but he doesn’t manage it. I guess none of this is really funny…

Chapter Eighteen – Will

As I hold baby Jordan in my arms, I realize that my whole world has changed. The foundation that I’ve always existed on has shifted completely. He’s the center now, the focus of my universe. All the petty bullshit that’s ever come before him has vanished into nothing. It’s all about him and his little nose, his adorable mouth, his lovely eyes that are just like his mothers. It might not have been int

entional, but me and Cici made this little guy. That’s going to bond us forever, that’ll solidify us for the rest of our lives. I don’t know what’s going to happen between us, but we have him to keep us together forever. We have a little man to focus on.

“He’s beautiful, isn’t he?” I say in a moony tone. “I cannot believe that we made him.”

I turn my eyes to look at Cici, who’s still looking slick with sweat and utterly exhausted. I’ve seen some strength in my time, but what she just did then was nothing short of a miracle. I cannot believe that any human can do that. Giving birth is something else! It’s awoken something inside of me, it’s made me realize that I’ve been sleeping through life for the last few weeks, focusing only on my own problems, not on what’s going on with her. I’ve been selfish, self absorbed, and now I need to be better. She deserves me to be better.

“I know, he’s lovely, isn’t he? And I’m so happy that we finally decided on a name.”

“Jordan. Jordan Yoker.” I give her a side eyed look. “He will have my surname, won’t he?”

She shrugs, clearly too tired to discuss this right now, but it has sparked something inside of me. I want Jordan to have my last name and I want Cici to have it as well. I want us to be a real family. I know that she was about to walk out of my life, but I can’t let that happen. Not just because I want to protect her, but because I like her a lot. I think I might more than like her. I can see her as my wife, I can imagine us really making it work.

I lie Jordan in his baby bed, now that he’s asleep and I turn to look at Cici. She’s trying to push herself into a sitting position but she’s wincing as if she’s in pain. “Do you need a nurse? What can I do to help you?”

“No, no.” She pants through the pain. “I’m okay, just… very sore, that’s all. It hurts pushing a baby out.”

I chuckle at her joke and take the seat next to her bed. There are so many unsaid things floating between us, so much that I want to say. It probably isn’t the right time, Jordan was only born a few hours ago, but I don’t want to leave it as it is. I want to make things right between us. I want us to be okay again.

“Cici, I’m sorry…” I start while reaching out to touch the soft skin of her hand. “I’m sorry for everything. I know that I’ve been shit recently and I shouldn’t have taken it out on you. That was wrong of me.”

Her face stiffens, I can see the tension flooding her. That wasn’t what I wanted to happen. “It’s okay. I know that you’ve been through a hard time recently. I understand with what’s happened and everything…”

Urgh, another memory of Andre. It’s so painful to think about him. It’s crushing me inside. But much as it’s horrible, I know that Andre wouldn’t want me to give up on life. If he knew about me and Cici, then he’d want me to look after her and to make her happy as well. And our child… well he’d want me to do everything for him. He’d want me to fucking get this Kingpin and to bury him six feet under. For him and all of us.

“Yeah, I know. It hasn’t been easy but that’s no excuse for what I’ve done. I’ve treated you like shit. I’ve been switched off and I haven’t done anything to help you out, even though you’ve needed it.”