I pause, for a second, I wonder if I should just run. Maybe Landon will let me go. But then I think better of it. If he has men everywhere, I might not survive this, but I need to let Landon know that I won’t back down. I grab my gun and I slowly lift it. I fix my eyes on Landon and I determinedly pull it out slowly.
Landon looks shook, he shivers in disbelief. He lifts up one hand and then he shoots it down rapidly. After that, a loud shot rings out which makes me hit the deck in an instant. But somehow, the bullet doesn’t come past me. I expect it to whiz through the air somewhere near my body but it doesn’t.
“Do you see now?” Landon glowers at me. “She’s gone. Do you get how serious I am?”
No, no, no. I dart my eyes backwards, suddenly recalling that Cici is here. I twist my neck nervously around and instantly it hits me that she’s no longer standing. She’s lying on the ground as blood pools around her. My brain spins, my heart thumps violently, I try inside my mind to whiz backwards over the last few moments to prevent that from happening. I should have just said yes, I’ll walk away, I should’ve backed down once I realize that she was here, I shouldn’t be here now, living, while Cici is potentially dead.
No, she can’t be dead, she can’t be. She has to be fine, I won’t accept it. I can’t take that in.
A yell bursts free from my throat and a strong power rises me up from the ground. My head might be everywhere, my thoughts might be darting everywhere, but the red mist has descended and there’s only one thing in mind. I need to get revenge, I need to put an end to this now. Landon is dead to me. Now, he needs to be dead.
“Fuck you!” I scream as I yank the gun from my holster. “Fuck you!”
Then I do it. I aim the barrel at my friend’s head and I pull the trigger. I watch as almost in slow motion, the bullet flies from the end and it blasts into his body. It might seem slow, but I’ve acted so fast that Landon didn’t know it was coming. I can see the shock in his eyes as it tears through him. Blood splatters from him, it flies everywhere. I thought the moment I finally took out Landon would be a good one, I was sure that I’d feel an intense sense of satisfaction. I had this feeling it would be a wonderful day… but instead I feel lost. I’m numb and empty inside. I’ve killed someone who was supposed to be in my life forever. The cat and mouse game is over. I’ve won, the cat is dead and the mouse is still standing, but I don’t feel good about it.
As Landon’s knees give way and he falls to the ground, hot tears fill my eyes. I should’ve worked this out, it never should have become this. I hate the entire fucking world for making this be what it is. How does a man who has a successful company and who seems to have it all turn to crime? Greed, I suppose. I guess some people will do anything for money. And maybe his company isn’t as successful as I thought it was. It was always this.
I fall forwards to my own knees, half because I’m gutted and half because like Landon promised, shots are flying. I don’t think they’re all one sided though, because the cop cars have screeched up behind me, and they’re fighting on my behalf. It’s a good verses evil battle, and I really hope the good side is winning.
I watch Landon for a while, seeing his lifeless body. This is an image which will be stuck in my brain
forever more. I know I won’t ever be able to forget it. My best friend, his head exploded, the whiteness of him…
Eventually, I manage to turn my head away. I don’t want to drag my eyes away, I want to drink this in forever so I know how much I have to blame myself for, but there’s another issue which is much more pressing. Through all the bullets flying everywhere, Cici is on the ground, the blood is pooling around her. I don’t want to know, this is a body that I never want to see, but I need to know. I have to see it for myself.
I crawl along the ground, my heart sinking the closer I get to her. She’s still, she isn’t moving despite the chaos around her, which isn’t a great sign. Anyone with any sense in their head would be in a state of panic with the gun fire, especially for someone who hasn’t been in the middle of it beforehand.
“Cici,” I mutter as my aching body slides along the ground. “Cici, no, please be okay.”
I think about Jordan, I don’t know what he’ll do without his mother. He needs her. Any boy needs his mother, and he’s no different. She’s the good parent, I’m the one who hasn’t been around much. I don’t like to accept it, but when she yelled those nasty words at me she was right. She’s basically done everything all for him. Where will I begin? How will I be able to do anything for him? He doesn’t deserve me. He deserves his mom. I should be the one who’s dead not her. This is so fucking wrong, it makes my insides twist painfully.
“Cici…” Drips fall from me, sweat, tears, and blood, all combining together on the ground. “Cici.”
“Will! Oh my God, Will! Are you okay?” I hear Jones calling out to me, but it’s like background noise. “Will looks hurt. Someone get an ambulance. When are they getting here?” That’s good news, it sounds like some medical professionals are on the way which is a good thing. But will it be enough? I still don’t know and the crawl over to Cici’s body feels like it’s taking forever. “Someone grab Will, we need to keep him safe.”
I get just close enough to Cici to reach out and touch her. My fingers brush against her still warm skin just as a strong set of arms scoop underneath me and lift me flying into the air. A scream bursts free from my chest as I grapple, trying to grip onto her again. I don’t have any answers, only more questions. Is she okay? Has the worst thing in the world happened to her? Has she died because of my work? I didn’t get long enough with her, I wasn’t given the chance to touch her properly. I need to feel her, to see her, to love her. Why can’t everyone else see that? What are they doing to me? Trying to fucking kill me?
“Will, we’re here,” Jones gasps at me. “Sorry we didn’t get here sooner but this will all be over soon.”
Maybe too over for me, maybe my whole life is about to disintegrate. Sleep is coming for me, I can feel my body shutting down as it tries to shield me away from the obvious truth. I battle it, I struggle my hardest to keep my eyes open, but the blackness is determined to claim me. I’ve fought enough today, I can’t keep battling. This adversary is too powerful for me. I don’t stand a God damn chance…
Chapter Thirty One – Cici
My eyes flicker, I can feel an intense whiteness shining in between the small slits which makes it far too painful to open them properly. I don’t know what’s going on, I have no idea where I even am, but I’m consumed by the terrible sense that everything is wrong. I rack through my brain trying to locate the last memory that I have but it all hurts too much. It’s like I have the worst damn headache in the entire world.
Where am I? I try to ask, but my throat is thick and my tongue has swollen large. My body feels raw from this inside out which only confirms that something terrible has happened. Help, me. Someone.
Since I can’t wrench my eyes open, I scan through, trying to clasp onto memories of anything. I can see Jordan, my gorgeous baby boy, Michelle, my good friend, my mother, my auntie, Will… Will! Something happened with Will. He was hurt, or he was going to get hurt, I’m not totally sure. It was bad anyway, I can clearly recall the intense panic that tore through my system as I watched it unfold. But what’s it? What happened?
Landon. All of a sudden, I gasp in a deep and intense breath. Landon, I remember it all now. He was a bad guy, the bad guy, Kingpin. He faced Will and told him that he would have to murder him now. He wanted to kill Will and I don’t know if he succeeded in that or not. All I can remember after that is noise and pain.
“Cici?” A voice filters through into my brain. “Are you there? Are you stirring?”
“Hmmm, urgh, nugh.” I try to speak, but it’s impossible. Something is in my throat still. “Argnh.”
“Oh my God, Cici. She’s awake. Someone. I need someone, she’s waking up!”
It’s Mom, I can tell that it’s her. As soon as that realization hits me I find some deep inner strength. I drag my eyes open, allowing the brightness to taint my irises for a moment until everything becomes clear. Right now, I need my mom. I need to know what’s happened here and she might well be the only one who I’ll be able to take it from. I don’t know what way it’s going to go and I need a shoulder to cry on.