No! Make an excuse. Run away… but I know I can’t. I need to work out what I can do.
“Sure.” I fall wearily back into my office chair. “I can talk.”
“I won’t take up too much of your time, I just need to discuss the financial situation with you.” My eyes fall closed as guilt threatens to consume me whole. “As you know, things are not good. They haven’t been good for a very long time. As I tried to advise you, you expanded at a pace that was much too rapid and now you are hemorrhaging money and you don’t have to focus to start making money back because there is just too much for you. There have been threats from investors and the banks…”
“I’ll just put more of my own money into it,” I interject quickly, needing to make all these horrible thoughts stop. It’s easy to lose my confidence which often borders on arrogance, when I have this heavy reminder that I’ve failed. I knew this was coming. “This is my fault so I’ll foot the bill…”
“Quite frankly, you can’t.” Barry is firm with me. “That won’t work again. You will end up bankrupt yourself, and as well I know you cannot allow that to happen.
“Then I will restructure…” I run my hand through my hair and tug at the ends with stress. “I’ll close some of the offices, make the operations smaller, get things back to how they used to be…”
“That is coming much too late, Evan, I’m afraid that just isn’t going to work.”
A thick silence clings to the air which makes the ice-cold terror bolt through my system. I’ve seen the numbers, I knew that things weren’t good, but it’s starting to sound like Barry thinks I don’t have any options. I don’t want to hear that! I need answers and fast.
“Look, Evan.” Barry sighs. “I don’t want your firm to go to auction. I know what the stakes are for you and I also know how hard you’ve worked. The last thing anyone wants is for everything to go belly up, but you need to be realistic. Maybe it’s time you find a buyer…”
“No,” I shoot back quickly. “The company is mine. I’m not getting a buyer.”
“I know that’s your opinion, but I don’t want you to lose everything. I can’t see any investor worth his or her salt getting involved with a business that has such a poor structure. You know?”
My heart races painfully in my chest and my head starts to spin. It can’t end like this, it just can’t. I absolutely refuse to accept it. “Are there any other options?”
“I mean, you can present a case that suggests you will make things better, but you need a lawyer for that to work and I’m not sure that’s something you can afford right now…”
“I’ll do it.” A ray of hope, that’s all I need. A small ray. “I’ll sort it, don’t worry.”
“I don’t know if that’s what I would advise. You’ll need the best of the best.”
My computer is already rebooting, I’m doing this. Even if it’s a last ditch attempt then I have to try. I can’t give up, that will never be me. And if I can do this in a discrete way so no other businesses work out what’s going on, even better. I already feel happier knowing that I’m trying.
“Yeah, thanks, Barry.” I’m already pulling the phone away from my ear, distracted. “Bye!”
I slam the phone back down and I flick through the Internet at the speed of light. I’ve used various law companies during my time as a business man but there’s only one that I remember really impressing me. Harrison and Associates. I had a young lad representing me then and he did an incredible job. I think they’re the only company I would trust with this.
Once I find the number I put in the call without even considering the time. It’s nearly seven PM, so there’s a chance that I won’t get a response, but any law firm worth anything tends to work through the night. I’m sure Harrison and Associates counts in that.
“Hello, Harrison and Associates, Deborah speaking.” She sounds professional, not exhausted. She must be a secretary. I’m impressed! Deborah isn’t out the door at five! “How may I help you?”
“My name is Evan Debroils,” I begin. “I have used your law firm in the past…”
“Ah yes,” she replies warmly. “I remember. I spoke with you a lot then.”
I feel horrible that I can’t remember, but that’s because I’m usually pushing forwards, never pausing to stop in the present to consider the past. Maybe that’s what got me in such a mess in the first place.
“You worked with Grant then, didn’t you? Back when he first started at the firm.”
“Ah yes, Grant. Can I speak to him?” It sounds like he’s still there, which is perfect.
“He’s actually with another client at the moment.” Of course, he is. Busy as always! This is the sort of thing that makes him the best, his dedication. “But if you give me some details about what you want, then I will pass the message on and get him to call you back at his earliest convenience.”
“Ah right.” I feel nervous. I don’t know if I want to share such details about my current situation with Deborah, but I suppose I have to. There’s a high level of confidentiality anyway, so I really shouldn’t worry. I just don’t like it, it hurts my pride. “Okay, well here it is…”
***
A long hour passes before I get off the phone, but after the call I feel much better. Deborah has reassured me that Grant will speak with me soon so I know where I stand when it comes to him. She was kind as well, I didn’t sense even a moment of judgement in her tone which is what I need right now. Once I have finally ended the call, I rub my eyes and let out a deep sigh of relief.
“Right,” I mutter to myself. “Time to go.”