“Oh.” There’s an awkward silence and I totally know why. The last time I spoke to Robyn about it, I was all keen on becoming partner, I told her it was all I’ve ever wanted. I made a big deal about it and now… well now things have changed. I haven’t even seen her to talk about Evan yet, so this new change in me is going to be very strange to Robyn. “I see. So, you didn’t immediately jump in and take it? I thought…”
“I know,” I reply with a sad shake of my head. “I thought so too. I guess I just think that you might be right. Everything might not change and I might still be just as busy.”
“Yeah…” she drawls. She definitely thinks that, which makes my heart sink lower. “I don’t think everything will get a lot better if you become partner, but if that’s what you want to do then you shouldn’t let that affect you. It’s your dream, isn’t it?”
“I thought it was. But now I don’t know.”
“What has changed? This just seems so out of the blue for you. I mean, I’m going to be honest with you, I think you’d be much better off out of that office but that’s just me. I think life is more for living not working, but that’s why you’re the successful one and I’m not.”
Her words make my life feel so empty, I really have just been a husk, existing for such a long time. My life is so gray and boring… I want to inject some color into it. “What else can I do though, Robyn? Being a lawyer is all I know. I just don’t see any other option for me.”
“Oh, Katy,” Robyn laughs. “You are the smartest person I know. I’m sure you can do whatever you set your mind to. If you’re serious about getting out of that office, then I’ll support you. I’ll help you, you won’t be alone in your decision.”
I breathe a little freer as I realize she’s right. Just because being a lawyer is all I’ve ever known doesn’t mean I have to spend my entire life doing it. It might not be easy, but I can do something else if I want. I can step out of the box that I’ve created around myself and spread my wings. Robyn will be there for me, always. She’s proven that to me.
“And since you might be getting your life back, maybe you can finally meet Michael…”
“Actually, about that,” I blush as I interrupt. I need to let Robyn know the truth before I’m forced to let Michael down again. “I might not be able to meet Michael. I might have met someone.”
“Oh, my God,” she coos. “That’s amazing. I’m so happy for you. Is that what’s brought about this change? If so, then my God I’m happy and I cannot wait to meet this guy.”
“Well, not yet, things aren’t that set in stone. It’s all just… beginning.”
“I want to meet up with you soon so I can get all the gossip, okay? I know you’re always busy but you need to make time for me.”
I laugh at her little joke. “Yes, I will do. I’ll text you when I get a chance. Love you, Robyn.”
“Yeah, I love you too, babe. See you soon, okay? Can’t wait to hang out!”
As I hang up the phone to her, I feel a brightness in my chest. This decision has been weighing heavily on me ever since I first heard about it but now I don’t think it’s quite so soul destroying as it once felt. Robyn has made me see that there’s more to life. Maybe, as scary as it is, I can walk away from being a lawyer and do something else.
But not for now. Right now, I have to help Evan with his business. Once I’ve done that, then I can start making all the choices about my future. One thing at a time.
Chapter Seventeen – Evan
“No, it’s okay. I understand that it’s your day off. Thank you anyway, Marie.”
I hang up the phone and look at my boy who’s playing in the corner of my office. So much for keeping his existence away from my employees. They all know that I have a child now! But it can’t be helped, the sickness bug hit Anika hard, it came from nowhere and she doesn’t want to pass it on to Liam. After calling all the other nannies and finding out that none of them are available today, she didn’t have any choice but to bring him here. I just don’t like Liam being in the office, it’s boring for him. I might have to leave in a moment to take him home…
“Hey, how’s it going… oh!” Katy’s face contorts in shock as she sees me and Liam alone in my office. “I’m sorry, have I got the date wrong? Am I not supposed to be here?”
I can tell that she feels awkward, which isn’t surprising. I feel it too. I always keep the women in my life away from my son until I know for sure that they’re going to last… which of course hasn’t been any of them so far, so this is strange. I can’t halt it now, it’s too late.
“No, you are.” I move across the room and rub Liam’s head. He glances up from the tablet screen he’s playing on, but only for a second. He’s engulfed in the game. “We just have a bit of an unexpected visitor at the moment. Liam’s nanny is sick, so I might need to go home. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be a jerk, I should have called you to save you the trip.”
“Oh right, okay, I see.” Katy nods slowly. “There’s some stuff I really need to go through with you today. Do you have time?”
I know that once me and Katy get started with talking business, we can talk for hours, so doing it here with Liam in the room isn’t ideal. I’ll be distracted by him the whole time. Instead we need to go somewhere we can all be a little more comfortable. This isn’t something I would ever normally do, but I don’t see what choice I have right now.
“Did you want to come to my home with me to talk about it? That way Liam has all his toys and stuff to play with and we have snacks on tap? Me and you can get some real discussion time in.”
The thought of Katy in my large home actually brings a bit of a smile to my face. I haven’t wanted anyone to invade my personal space before, which just confirms how deep my feelings for Katy are. I like her, too damn much. She’s just so awesome. I guess in a way this will be a weird test for us. If she can’t handle being around Liam then we can both take a step back now before we get too involved with each other. That way, it won’t hurt so much and Liam won’t get attached.
“Oh yeah.” Katy’s face lights up with glee. “That sounds great actually.” She glances towards Liam, with a shining happiness in her eyes. She doesn’t look as freaked out as she probably should be. “Then we have plenty of time to go over all of this.”
I pat Liam on the back. “Come on, buddy, let’s get going. We’ll head home to play there.”
“No,” he instantly whines. “I don’t want to leave. I want to keep playing this game, it’s fun!”