“Addybug. You've left us no choice. You sing with that boy and he'll have an accident. One he might not survive.” He says still with no emotion in his voice.
“You wouldn't do that.”
“No, but I would,” Jimmy says continuing to smile. “I've lost you already. I've got nothing else to lose.”
“You're both crazy, I scream as I run to my car. Hot angry tears run down my face. He wouldn’t hurt Charlie, would he?
I couldn't live with myself if he did. How can I blow him off? He is so excited about our song.
I could tell him the truth. I just don't know that it will do any good. My dad always ruins my life in one way or another.
My opinion of my dad has now changed forever. How could he bail out Jimmy? He hurt me. It just doesn't seem real.
I'm supposed to record with Charlie tomorrow. I've let him into my heart and my bed. It's going to be the hardest thing I ever do, but I'm going to stand him up.
There's no doubt in my mind Jimmy will hurt him. If he's said I'm going to shoot him, I'd have gone to the police. The fact that they want to make it look like an accident means the police can't stop it. If I want to kneel him safe I'm going to have to stay away.
I make the decision to stand him up. Not only will it keep my dad happy it will have the added effect of making sure he never talks to me again.
Tears run down my cheeks as I make my way to the car. How did this day turn so bad?
Charlie calls me like I knew he would and I don’t answer. He calls again a little later as I pull back into my apartment complex. I don’t answer again. I go and run a bath and sit in it until the water is cold. Instead of facing getting out, I drain all the water and run more so I can continue to sit in the bath without hypothermia.
After my bath, I try to go to sleep. Finally, I get up and call Lila, but of course, she doesn’t answer. The clock says it’s only ten o’clock so I try to watch a movie to get sleepy. After that doesn’t work I just lie still and stare at the ceiling. It’s all I can do.
I decide to do something I haven’t done in a long time to try and go to sleep, drink. I get up and go into my pantry. There’s a bottle of vodka that’s been in the cabinet since I had a roommate. It was hers, and I’d never been tempted to touch it until this evening.
I pour some straight and take it down shuddering over the horrible taste. I take down another large gulp and then mix some with a juice I have in the fridge.
After I finish that drink I make another and notice I feel amazing. I almost call Charlie but decide not to. Once I’m good and drunk I grab a blanket and pass out in the recliner in my living room.
Chapter Seventeen: Charlie
It’s six o’clock and Ada hasn’t shown up to record yet. She should have been here right after work which means she’d have been here at five thirty. Thomas is getting nervous. I’ve called her a few times and I’m just not sure what’s changed. I don’t think I did or said anything that could have upset her, but I’m really not sure.
Did she get spooked because we slept together?
“You know how much this is costing me? This studio is not cheap and if we don’t start creating something to put out soon, we’re going into the red.” Thomas paces behind me as I sit in front of the glass case we should be in.
“You bill me for this don’t you,” I say.
“Yes, fine how much this is costing us. I don’t know what you did to that girl, but if you’ve messed this up Charlie,” he doesn’t finish his sentence. He just runs a hand down his face. “I just don’t know what we’ll do,” he says finally.
He continues to stomp around until finally, I can’t take it anymore.
“Just go, Thomas. We’ll let someone else have the space.”
“I booked it the whole day. You can’t just let someone else have it.”
“She’s clearly got a good reason for not being here. You know Addy. You know she wants to do this.”
“It doesn’t seem that way.” He leaves the room frustrated and I start to doubt that she wants to as well.
No time like the present to work on some lyrics. I go into the booth and start to play. There’s no way I can set up the recording and perform at the same time but if we have the space I might as well use it.
She takes her time making decisions
Not one to rush into the room