“Are you listening to yourself?” I asked with a huff. “I’d be in a completely different city, a huge city, one that’s foreign to me, surrounded by people I don’t know. How is that not going to be different?”
“You’d be with me,” he said softly.
“You’re not really that tempting at the moment,” I said. “I’m still having trouble dealing with the whole lying issue.”
“Ashlyn, my doctor –”
“Chance, just stop it,” I said, holding up my hands. “I’m not leaving Ludwig. Just, think of this as a fling or something, and I’ll try and do the same. You didn’t actually believe this would go somewhere, did you?”
He looked at me with a mix of shock and disbelief, and for a minute there, I felt like I had probably made a mistake. Did he actually think we could continue whatever the hell it was we were doing while he was in a different city? Was he as delusional as I had been last night?
“That’s not fair,” Chance said. “You’re not giving me much of a chance here.”
“A chance to do what?” I asked. “Chance, please, don’t make this harder than it already is. I’m channeling all my anger for what you did just so I don’t feel anything when you go. Let’s keep it at that.”
“It doesn’t have to be that way,” Chance argued, and I could see he was getting a little frustrated. He pressed two fingers to the center of his chest and blew out a long breath. He gazed into my eyes, pleading, making me feel like a total shit for not doing what he asked. “Come with me, spend a couple of days in Austin, and then make a decision.”
“You have a company to win back,” I said. “Meetings, press, and now a lawsuit. I don’t want to be in the middle of all that. I can’t handle that. How am I going to be able to decide anything when nothing around me is stable?”
“You’re really not looking at the bigger picture here.”
“Actually, I am,” I snapped. “Listen, I appreciate what you said you’d do about the lawyers, and I’ll never forget it. But I really think that should be the end of it. I don’t see this going anywhere good.”
Chance scoffed and shook his head. “You know, a couple of days ago, I would never have expected to be begging a woman to be with me.”
I bit my lip and looked away. “Sorry to disappoint, Sabbatical.”
He took a deep breath, let it out in a long sigh, and then nodded. “This fucking town,” he said.
I smiled despite the sorrow I felt in my heart. “Yeah, Ludwig has a way of changing people.”
“Not everyone, apparently,” he said.
Our eyes met, and we just looked at each other in silence for a few seconds before he turned and climbed into the back seat. The door closed, and I half expected the window to slide down, but it didn’t.
I watched as the limo left the motel, turned the corner, and Chance Ridder disappeared from my life forever.
Chapter 14: Chance
I arrived back in Austin just as the sun was going down.
The penthouse was spotless, courtesy of good old Pauline, and I dropped my bag by the door as I made immediately for the kitchen and the beer that waited in the refrigerator. I popped a bottle open, took a long swig, and stretched my aching muscles. My mind was spinning, thoughts of how I left things back at Ludwig weighing down on me like dead weight, and soon enough I decided the beer wouldn’t do it for me.
Within an hour, I was slumped on the couch, gazing out at the city with half open eyes, half the whiskey bottle gone.
The only lights on in the penthouse came from the kitchen, but they were enough to mirror my reflection in the large windows, and it came as no surprise that I looked like a fucking mess. I needed a shower, desperately, and my clothes made me look like I had just barely survived a rodeo and barely lived to tell the tale. With the bottle of whiskey in one hand and a dying cigarette in the other, I was the poster child for a heart attack advertisement, with the tagline ‘This Could Be You – Call 1-800-early-heart-attack NOW!’
“How the fuck did you turn into this miserable mess in just two days, Chance?” I asked myself, scowling at my reflection, getting angry at myself for just looking like shit, not to mention feeling pretty much the same.
I closed my eyes, and when I opened them, I could see Ashlyn reflected in the window, with her blonde locks, beautiful eyes, and soft lips stretched wide in a loving smile. She was laughing, probably at something stupid I said, and biting her lip in that way I had fallen in love with.
Fallen in what the fuck?
I shook my head and blinked rapidly, trying to push the image out of my head. I was being ridiculous. I was Chance Ridder, for fuck’s sake. I didn’t fall for anyone. People chased me, goddammit. People wanted to be with me. People didn’t wait fo
r me to ask them to come back to Austin with me. People just did whatever the fuck I wanted them to do!
And I definitely did not fall in love. Not with Ashlyn, not with anyone. She chose Ludwig over me. She could rot there until the maggots crawled out of her eyes and devoured her beautiful, milky, soft skin.