Fatal Attraction (Dark Desires 4)

I laid my head back and cursed the gods above. The alcohol swam through me like poison, reaching into the deepest recesses of my brain and tugging at whatever strands of sanity there were left. It was like a living essence, merging with every molecule inside me, turning every emotion I had into spite and hatred. I looked at the bottle in my hand, felt even more disgusted at myself for what I was doing, and angrily threw it across the room.

It shattered into pieces above the window, the whiskey pouring down and turning my reflection into a blurred mess. I looked even worse than before.

Pushing to my feet, I stumbled and fell, fighting through the haze in my mind as I made my way upstairs and to my bedroom. I needed a shower, and coffee, and Ashlyn.

I fell face first onto my bed, the mattress enveloping me and holding me in its warm embrace. I pictured Ashlyn by my side, stroking my hair, telling me everything would be okay. I could almost feel her touch against my skin.

I rolled onto my back, realized that I was actually all alone, and closed my eyes.

* * *

I woke up to the sound of incessant buzzing from downstairs. With a groan, I pushed myself up to a sitting position and tried to clear my head. I had a massive headache that made me wish I could just shoot myself, and my vision was blurry enough that, for a few seconds, I thought I was still in my motel room in Ludwig.

The buzzing continued, and it was only when I began to register that I was back in Austin, in my bedroom, with a debilitating hangover, that I realized the buzzing was the sound of my doorbell. I ran a hand through my hair, cursed the asshole who had decided to pay me a visit and was only adding to my discomfort, and forced myself to my feet. It took me the better of ten minutes just to get downstairs.

When I opened the door, Alice took a step back, her eyes wide and her mouth open. She was taking me in, and I could see from the look on her face that shocked would be the understatement of the year.

“Why didn’t you just use your fucking key?” I snapped.

“Jesus, you look like shit,” Alice said. “And I forgot my key.”

I nodded, turned away and trudged back into the penthouse. I heard her follow me and close the door.

“What the hell happened to you?” she asked, rushing past me and dropping her purse on the kitchen counter. She quickly set up the coffee machine, switched it on, then turned her attention back to me. “If you were hoping to dismiss any rumors about a drug addiction, you definitely can’t do it like that.”

“I just need a few minutes to get my head straight,” I said. “Coffee and Tylenol, and I’ll be fine. An hour max.” My words slurred, and I heard my voice as if it were coming from far away.

“The board meeting is in an hour,” Alice said, “and you have to be ready for that. Here, take these.”

I took the pills from her and downed them without thinking twice, washing them down with large gulps of water that ran down my chin and drenched my shirt. When I looked up at Alice again, she was regarding me with a look of complete distaste and hint of pity.

“Stop looking at me like that,” I said.

“You’re in a mess,” Alice countered. “It’s a good thing I decided to pass by before you showed up at the office. If you had come in looking like that, they would have asked security to escort you out.”

“Security won’t escort me anywhere,” I said. “It’s my fucking company.”

“It’s Chance Ridder’s company, for now,” Alice replied. “I don’t know who the hell you are.”

I shot her an annoyed glare, then looked away when I couldn’t hold it for too long. I felt heavy, as if the ground were pulling me towards it, promising peace and rest if I just laid down and never got back up. It was a tempting notion. One that I knew, though, that Alice would not allow.

“Get cleaned up, we need to get moving,” Alice said.

“In a minute.”

“Chance, seriously, this isn’t a joking matter.”

“In a minute!”

My outburst took her by surprise. She was used to the composed version of me, the one that didn’t care if the sky fell all around him because he knew that he was too special to be touched. I always gave her the appearance of a man who had his shit together, and the fact that she was the same was why we worked well together. Sudden bursts of fury were unlike me, and it shocked me as much as it did her.

“Sorry,” I said, scratching the back of my head and sighing. “I’ll get dressed.”

She didn’t reply as I got off the stool and made my way back upstairs.

* * *

We rode to the office in silence, and I could feel the tension in the air like a black shroud of distaste and dissent. Every now and then, I’d catch Miles looking at me in the rearview mirror, and although my impulse was to yell at him to keep his eyes on the road, I fought it back. I needed to keep my cool if I wanted to have any positive effect in today’s meeting.