When he pulled back and kissed my forehead, I felt a little disappointed, but I followed him back toward the car that was parked at the restaurant. I wasn’t sure why he wasn’t making a move, and part of me was slightly bothered by it. It was obvious that he wanted me and was attracted to me, and it wasn’t like it would be our first time. I was really hoping that he was going to invite me back to his place and get hot and heavy, but instead, he walked me back to the car and opened the door for me. I sat there thinking about it as he climbed inside and put the top of the car up. It was getting chilly outside, and I hadn’t brought a jacket. Before he could put the keys in the car, he leaned over and kissed me again, smiling as he pulled back. I put my hand over his and turned toward him, deciding that I wanted to ask him about the first time we had sex.
“Can I ask you something?”
“Anything,” he said calmly.
“What do you think about the fact that we had sex so soon after meeting each other?”
I sat there looking at him, waiting for him to respond. He was being thoughtful about his words, and I wondered what was going through his mind. I could feel my nerves bubbling up in my stomach, but I pushed them back, not wanting to change the subject. I really wanted to know. Between the flirting, the kissing, and the emotional bonding, I figured he would be trying to get my clothes off already. I watched his eyes as he put his hands in his lap and let out a long breath. He smiled and looked out the window, obviously nervous to tell me the truth.
“When I first met you,” he said. “I had every intention of taking you back to my place, having sex, and never calling you again.”
“Wow,” I said, chuckling at the response I wasn’t expecting.
“I have been terrified of get
ting hurt for so long that I had built up a wall,” he explained. “I didn’t have relationships. This bond that we have isn’t something that I have ever felt before. I was a playboy, loving and leaving as fast as I could. I’m not saying I’m proud of it, but that was my game. It was pretty much the only thing I did with my free time. I told you I had wandered since my parents died, and that was where I wandered to. I filled the loneliness with temporary distractions.”
“I appreciate your candor,” I said, reaching for his hand.
“But after I made love to you at your house,” he said, turning toward me. “I knew that you weren’t one of those girls. As I drove home that night and woke up the next morning with you on my mind, I knew that there was something different and unique about you. I thought you were amazing from the first slurred, drunk words that came out of your mouth. I knew you had the biggest heart right away. I was drawn to you, and I still am, in a way that I could only imagine my father being drawn to my mother. I couldn’t treat you like the other women. I couldn’t lump you in with just another hookup. So, I didn’t, and I let you crash through those walls I thought I’d built so sturdily.”
I smiled, listening to every word that he said. It didn’t bother me that he was a playboy, and I pretty much had already figured that out on my own. What I didn’t realize was why he was that way. I didn’t realize that he was pushing people away so hard because he was so traumatized by his parents’ death. He had obviously loved them very much, and he couldn’t bring himself to allow anyone else into his heart. It was raw and truthful, and I respected him for telling me the truth instead of giving me some line he thought I would want to hear.
“I have never been so honest about my life with anyone, ever,” he said, chuckling. “I told you more in the first twenty-four hours of knowing you than I’ve ever told anyone else. I’m not even that honest with myself most of the time. But you are special, unique, and I feel a connection with you that is safe and comfortable. What I just told you about sleeping with a different girl every night, that isn’t a normal thing for a guy to admit to a girl that he’s interested in, but I don’t want there to be any secrets between us. I have to be honest with you, I have to let you know who I really am, and I have to take the chance of not knowing how you will react. There was no other way around it in my mind, which is crazy, because I’m a lawyer, and there is a way around everything in our world. But as I stood there looking at you, I knew that if I lied, I would one day have to come clean, because I didn’t plan on going anywhere. I didn’t want any other girl in my life, and a weight had been lifted off my chest that I had been suffocating under for far too long.”
I looked him in his big beautiful eyes and knew that everything he was saying was the honest to god truth. There wasn’t one hint of a hidden agenda written anywhere on his face. Butterflies fluttered wildly through my stomach, and I took a deep breath, trying to formulate a response.
“I understand,” I said softly. “I had no time for relationships in my life with the way my father is, and my mother was gone. I had no patience for games or misunderstandings, and I had no want or need for any drama in my life. When I saw you, all I thought about was how gorgeous you were and how long it had been since I had gotten laid. I was wasted, but when your lips touched mine, you sobered me up really fast. By the next morning, I was beating myself up for not giving you my number. I thought about you all day, and when you showed up for breakfast, I was beside myself with excitement. I kept my life a secret, too, for reasons I’m sure you could understand, but with you, I felt that you were my safe place. I wanted you to know everything about my life so that there were never any secrets. However, now I feel like we are both waiting for the other shoe to drop, nothing could really be this perfect, right? At least, that’s what I ask myself in the morning.”
“I think it can be,” he said. “And I think it is.”
“Then what are you waiting for?” I laughed and squeezed his thigh. “Invite me to your place, and make passionate love to me. I don’t want to go through another night without feeling you inside of me.”
His eyes widened, and he grinned, turning on the car and putting his hands on the steering wheel. He looked out the front window, and his smile got wider and wider. His hand moved down to the stick, and he shifted us into drive.
“You know what? You’re right.” He chuckled. “I have been trying to resist the urge, wanting to get to know all of you without you thinking I was just in it for the booty.”
“Well, I don’t think that,” I said. “And there is nothing wrong with having a little bit of both.”
“I can’t resist you for one more minute,” he said.
I leaned over and kissed his neck, nibbling at his earlobe as I pulled back and sat down in my seat. He sped out of the parking lot and hit the road in his sports car, weaving down the road toward his place. He looked over at me and took my hand, smiling and rubbing his thumb over my palm. I could feel an excitement in my chest mixing with the desire to get him naked. I was pretty stoked to see where he lived, and I was even more excited to feel him inside of me. The heat in my stomach bubbled and twisted as I watched his blue eyes darting over the road as we drove. If I could have taken him right there, I would have.
Chapter 9
Blaine
I had lived in my place for years and had done a bunch to it to make it feel like home. However, as I pulled up and walked Josie inside, I was seeing my place with a fresh set of eyes. I hadn’t really ever thought about the many different aspects of my life until Josie came around. She really had a way of making me feel like I needed to take a good, long look at things. Not to mention the fact that she was so adorable when she was faced with something new and exciting. I could see how well she would be able to relate to the kids that she taught. Just like at the zoo, when she saw my house, I could see her endearing and natural curiosity sparkle in her eyes. She was giddy, like a kid on Christmas, and she really did care about getting to know every part of my life. I had only known her a few days, but it felt like a lifetime. At the same time, it didn’t feel long enough. I had completely forgotten that I hadn’t brought her to my house before.
Outside, she stood staring up at the five thousand square-foot beach house. Her eyes scanned the white shutters, perfectly manicured grass, and flowers planted along the walkway. I didn’t keep up with yard work since my thumb was more orange than green, but I had some of the best landscapers in Palm Beach to make sure it was neat, tidy, and beautiful from all angles. As we stepped inside, I started to feel slightly awkward. I lived in the lap of luxury with maids and housekeepers keeping every inch of my place clean and sparkling at all times. The floors were redone every few years, the furniture was updated to match the current trends, and the electronics were the best that money could buy. I spent my wealth freely and without restraint, but thinking about Josie’s meager home with run down furniture and old flooring, I couldn’t help but feel a little uncomfortable showing off my place. I wasn’t purposefully showing off or trying to rub her nose in my wallet. I was pretty sure she already knew that, but it didn’t make me feel much better.
I thought about the velvet picture of Elvis, the overgrown lawn, and the old, stained tile floors in her home. My house was mostly white with exuberant colors blasting from the paintings on the walls. I was pretty sure there wasn’t even a hint of velvet anywhere in my home. At the same time, though, that house was her father’s, and with his issues, I could see Josie holding on to anything that he hadn’t already pawned or sold to feed his gambling addiction. I couldn’t imagine how it would feel to have your own father be so helpless to his vices that he would diminish the comfort and security of his own home at his child’s expense.
As we walked through the living room, Josie stopped and stared up at the eight-foot-tall canvas hanging on the wall. She gasped at the colors vibrating from the space, and I smiled, realizing that she liked art, something I didn’t know about her. I smiled and took her hand, pointing out the stain
less steel open kitchen, which she gawked at. I showed her the living room, where she plopped down on the white sofa and ran her fingers over the fabric. Then I took her to my favorite part of the house, the deck. As we walked outside, I heard her “ooh” and “aww” for the fifth time since coming into the house. The sound of the waves crashing in my beach backyard was soothing, and she stared at the infinity pool that reflected the sky. I leaned over and kissed her on the cheek, proud that she loved my house the way she did.
“Everything is so perfect,” she said, laughing.