“It’s okay,” I replied. “I was signing books, not fighting a zombie apocalypse.” Although, in my head, it was pretty much the same thing.
“Look at you, all confident.”
“I don’t really feel like it, though,” I said with a heavy sigh. “Any word from the studio about how it went?”
I didn’t really care. I was just asking because I thought it was the thing to do. In reality, all I could think about was Chad. The smile. The way he looked at me. His body, oh God, his body. For a second, I almost lost myself in imagining what it would be like to see him without his shirt on again. Run my hands across his chest. I felt a tingling between my legs and quickly shifted in my place, taking a deep breath and letting it out slowly.
I caught the driver staring again in the rearview mirror.
“Sara said everyone was thrilled by your appearance and want to book you again when the next book comes out,” Graham replied. “And to be honest, I’m really not surprised. That Chad character definitely turned the heat up, and you closed it off with the promise of a hot read. I have a feeling a lot of women are going to be putting that trainer’s face to your character now.” Graham chuckled, and I bit my lower lip, hoping he wouldn’t put two and two together. The similarities between Chad and the character in my book were too close for comfort. A lot of the scenes started playing in the back of my mind, and I felt the heat rise in my cheeks.
The driver pulled up to my apartment and stepped out, racing around the car to open the door for me.
“I got to go, Graham,” I said as I stepped out into the sudden burst of New York noise. “I’ll call you later.”
“How about dinner tonight?” Graham asked. “A celebration of sorts.”
I hesitated. “I may have plans tonight.”
There was a brief silence on the other line before Graham said, “Rain check it is, then. Just call me in the morning, we have lots to discuss.”
“I will,” I promised. “Talk later.”
I hung up and was making my way to the front door when a hand tapped my shoulder from behind. I turned around to see the driver holding out a copy of my book in one hand and a pen in the other, smiling like a bashful child.
“My wife’s a big fan, Miss Maxwell,” he said. “I read it myself. You’re very…descriptive.”
I suddenly felt like a porn star as his eyes ran over me. I quickly grabbed the book and pen from his hands and took a deep breath, swallowing the words that were stinging my tongue. I didn’t understand how some people thought that just because I was an erotica writer, it automatically meant I was some kind of sex freak. I scribbled my name on the first page and handed the book back to him with as much of a smile as I could muster.
“Thank you,” I said and quickly walked away before he had a chance to start a conversation.
Too many people. Too many strangers.
I nodded at the doorman, then raced to the elevators, longing for the serenity of my apartment and the comfort of being alone. I clicked the close door button furiously as the elevator shut in front of me and began its ascent. I leaned against the large mirrored and sighed.
It was a churn of emotions. If I was one to give myself credit for a job well done, I would be patting myself on the back for how well the TV appearance went. Even though seeing Chad was like having a ghost pop up in a haunted house, I managed to muddle through the appearance to everyone’s delight. Except my own. Still, my emotions were all over the place. I wanted to laugh, to cry, to scream, to celebrate. And I knew it was because of him.
Chad Walters. The Chad Walters. The one I left behind, back in my life after all these years. And hot as fuck. And we were having dinner tonight. I bit my lip again, wondering what the hell I was thinking. Was this a good idea? How the hell was the night going to play out anyway?
I suddenly remembered that he had a copy of my book, and closed my eyes in silent agony. Knowing Chad, if he was anything like the man I remembered, he was probably going to use it as a door stop. The only thing Chad ever read was Sports Illustrated and Fitness Magazine . But time can change people. If he actually sat down and read it, he’d immediately make the connection that the main character was based on him. That could make tonight incredibly awkward, me wondering if he read the book and him wondering if I had really just detailed our sex life in print.
I rushed into my apartment, kicked off my heels and tossed the purse on the couch. I followed it, landing in the midst of cushions with a loud sigh. Every muscle in my body was tied in knots, and only then did I realize how tense I had been the entire day. My muscles were cramped like a full-body Charlie Horse. My feet felt like a dozen nails had been hammered into them, and my head ached like never before.
Hot shower.
I sat up slowly, pushing myself to my feet and making my way to the bathroom. My cellphone began to ring, but I ignored it, the thought of hot water over my body a stronger pull. I stripped out of my clothes, catching a glimpse of myself in the bathroom mirror, and stopped. It had been a while since I looked at myself naked. Being in the constant spotlight, and of course dating a married man, had forced me to keep in shape, and a small smile crept onto my face when I took in my reflection.
“I definitely have something to offer, too, Chad Walters,” I said to myself.
I turned on the hot water and stepped under the shower. I turned the showerhead around so that it was shooting jets of water onto my back, and I sighed with relief as the tension slowly melted away. My muscles immediately began to relax. A wave of relaxation took over, and I leaned back into the shower, letting the water rush over my head and down my body.
With it, the day began to wash away. Gone was the anxiety from the interview and the book signing. I began to forget all about the hungry eyes that stared at me while I thanked my readers for their support, men and women alike. The memory of three cameras pointed at me, forcing me to think a rethink every move I did and word I said, slowly disappeared down the drain.
All that remained was Chad.
I closed my eyes, and for a second I felt as if I were staring into his. The air around my body cooled despite the hot water. I shivered, and through closed lids I began to imagine him undressed in front of me. Stepping into the shower beside me. His chiseled body, those strong hands caressing my side. I used my memory to fill in the blanks, and my senses just went along for the ride.
I let my mind go wild, and my breathing became deeper, hotter, each detail of his chiseled body making me shiver just a little more. My hand crawled down between my legs, the tingling feeling that had been there earlier now strong as hell. It was begging to be acknowledged, and with the water rushing over me, I slipped a finger between my pussy lips.