Seduced by Two

“Kristin, I don’t know what you learned out there on your own, but you’re in my home now,” Mom breathed angrily. “And you’re going to play by my rules.”

Suddenly, Andrew’s face popped into my mind. It was the strangest thing – he’d used almost the exact same phrase shortly before I decided to come home. But he’d been telling me that I didn’t have to do anything I didn’t want to.

Now, my mom was telling me the opposite.

Dinner that night was even worse. Dean and Mom treated me like a kid – I wasn’t even allowed to serve myself, for fear that I’d drop the dish on the floor. It was fucking ridiculous. I didn’t know if they’d actually gotten worse, or if it was just in my mind. After all, I’d had a couple of days away from my parents. And I’d gotten quite the “education” about how different things could be in a house with no rules.

“Kristin,” Mom said. “You’re coming to Bible study with me tonight. The theme is learning how to obey what God wants for us.”

I rolled my eyes. “I have to study,” I lied. “I should be on track when I start the next semester.”

“Then maybe you should have thought the better of lying to me,” Mom snapped. “You’re coming and that’s final.”

I looked up at Dean, hoping to plead my case. “Dean, I really need to finish this paper,” I said. “Please?”

Dean sighed. “Kristin, you lied about doing that before,” he said slowly. “Listen to your mother. She knows what’s best for you.”

“But I’ll be right here,” I exclaimed loudly.

Dean and Mom looked at each other.

“I don’t know,” Dean said slowly. “Your mom rules the roost around here. You know that, kiddo.”

Defeated, I slunk back down in my chair.

Bible study was even worse than I thought it would be. The rest of the people there were young – like teenagers – and I was obviously the oldest one. Even worse, some girl asked me which high school I went to because she’d “never seen me around.”

It was like my hot night in bed with Andrew and Victor was the most distant of distant memories.

At home, I crawled into bed and turned out the lights, with my door wide open (of course.) Mom and Dean stayed up watching old reruns of Family Matters and then around eleven, they finally went to bed. As quietly as I could, I pulled my laptop out of my bag and booted it up.

Without thinking too much, I wrote:

“Dear Andrew,

You were right. This is completely miserable, and it’s gotten even worse. I can’t stay here anymore. Were you serious about me being able to live with you?

I miss you.

Kristin.”

I almost wrote “love” before my name, but decided that was too mushy and stupid. Besides, I was sure that Andrew didn’t feel the same way about me. He was a cool, older guy. He’d taken my virginity, and I was sure that was the extent of his affection towards me. It wasn’t like he was the kind of guy who fell in love, at least, that’s what I had to think. Andrew was too cool for things like love. Besides, I imagined if he loved anyone, it was probably Victor.

I debated hitting ‘send’ for a solid ten minutes. Then I heard a cough from my mom’s bedroom, and the yellow glare of light appeared in the hallway. It’s now or never, I realized. I have to do this or else I won’t get the chance again. Nervously, I pushed ‘send’ and watched the email fade away, out of my inbox, towards Boston.

“Kristin?” Mom was standing in the doorway, wearing a hairnet and glasses. “Why aren’t you asleep?”

“Your cough woke me up,” I mumbled, turning on my side and facing away from the door.

Mom sighed angrily, but she didn’t say anything.

Finally, I fell into a deep, troubled sleep.

In the morning, I went downstairs and turned the coffeemaker on. Normally, I wasn’t allowed to touch it, but the thought of Andrew rescuing me made the thought of punishment much more bearable.

“Kristin, what are you doing?”

I jumped a mile into the air at the sound of Dean’s voice.