I’m just going to have to suck it up and act confident, I think. I’m the one who should be embarrassed, I’m the one with the most to lose. If I just make it okay then hopefully it’ll just become that. It has to.
By the time I leave the shower behind, I’m determined to make it a joke. It’ll be fine, guys don’t care about that stuff as much as girls, I don’t think. I’ll just have to hope that Logan isn’t mad about it. I drag a pair of shorts on which I hope belong to Logan and a tee shirt too. If this is too weird, I’ll jet get changed in a moment.
“Good morning.” Logan’s warm voice greets me, allowing me to let out a relaxed breath. He’s sitting at his kitchen counter drinking a large mug of coffee. His roommate is standing by the coffee machine, refusing to meet my eyes. I don’t know if he’s said anything to Logan yet, which puts me at a disadvantage. “Oh good, you found some of my clothes.” Phew, that’s one positive! “I was hoping that you would. Oh, and this is Al, my roommate.”
“Er, yeah.” I dart my eyes between them both. “We’ve actually met already.”
“I’m so sorry, I know I shouldn’t just walk into your room, I just wasn’t thinking.” The words spill out of Al’s mouth like vomit, clearly, he’s been trying to keep them inside until this moment. “I just wanted to grab one of your books to look something up and I didn’t even look, I promise, I wasn’t looking at all.”
“I was naked,” I say dryly to a very confused looking Logan. “That’s why it’s weird.”
For one horrifying moment Logan’s face goes a funny shade of pink and I think he’s going to yell. There isn’t any reason for him to be mad, we aren’t together so much that we have a title or anything and it was only a mistake, but still, the moment could show me a side to him that I might not like very much…
But then he bursts into laughter and it’s a sound that comes right from the pit of his belly. I find it intoxicating, I can’t help but join in with it. Al does too and the atmosphere dispels in an instant. We all laugh together, sharing it as the joke it should be. Now that no one has made a big deal of it, we can all move past it.
“Oh, my goodness,” Logan gasps out while clutching onto his belly which seems to be aching from laughter. “That must have been quite some greeting, huh? Well, it’ll teach you to go in my room, Alistair, I’m always begging you not to. And I am sorry, Tamara, I should have warned you that the privacy in this place is minimal.”
“It’s okay.” I hold up my hands. “I’m not offended, it was just a bit of a shock, that’s all.”
“Yeah, you aren’t kidding.” Al raises one eyebrow. “Mostly that Logan has found someone to like him.”
“Oh my God, you’re such an ass, Alistair.”
“Hey, I’m just being honest. If you can’t hack it, that’s your issue.”
While they argue like teenagers, or possibly brothers since there’s a lot of love in their words too, I can look at Al without worrying too much. I see there’s something quite handsome about him. He’s got far too much of a city boy look to me, all smart all the time and serious about his career, but I think about what Katherine said about Logan having a friend for her to date and this could actually be perfect. Me and Logan might not have a title as yet, but we are going away together, which makes me feel more secure in us. This could be quite good. Of course, I’ll have to talk to Katherine first and Logan too, to confirm that it’s okay but I could imagine this being quite the match. If it all works out, it’ll be utterly perfect. The four of us together! What more could I want?
“So, Al.” I discretely lift up my cell phone and set the camera to silent with no flash. As soon as he looks at me I snap a picture of him. It isn’t the best image, I don’t think it shows off just how good looking he is, but I need to have something. Katherine won’t go on a date completely blind, I know her too well. “Are you the one who has girls around here all the time or do you have a girlfriend to keep you company?”
Not the most subtle, but I’m sure it’ll get the job done. I keep my expression as innocent as I can while I wait for an answer. Even more so when I get one.
“Oh, I don’t know.” He winks playfully at me, but not in a flirty way… thank goodness! “I’m just playing the field until I find the right woman, that’s all. I need someone to tame me and calm my wild ways. I’m sure she’s out there somewhere just looking for me too, and one day we’ll have this big romantic story…”
I know the perfect woman for that, I think with a smirk on my face. And soon enough, I’ll introduce you.
“Does anyone want any breakfast?” Logan leaps up from his seat and effectively ends the conversation for us. “I can make us a classic English fry up if you like? Eggs, bacon, toast, the lot.”
I nod and smile as my brain begins to build on the future I’m secretly planning for us, including Al and Katherine in it too. It’s probably an image that’s far too perfect but I like the way it feels all the same. It’s nice, and while it might be a fantasy I’d like to think after all the years of being sad I could have something come true. Maybe even a part of it. Either way, for now I’m happy to just enjoy the ride.
17
Logan
There’s a real excitement busting in my chest as I lay the map out across my bedroom floor. This scene is very familiar to me, it’s something that I’ve done a million times before, but this time it’s different. This time I have someone else sitting beside me who can barely contain herself as well. She’s itching with thrill, I can see it burning off of her. At least I know that she’s just as keen as me and this isn’t me forcing something on her.
“So, the dots are stickers I’ve stuck on of places I want to go and places that I can realistically afford to go in the time I have available. I can only pay the rent on this place without working for six months and also, I don’t want to run out of cash when I’m away because that’ll put a downer on it. That’s why I’ve waited until now. I need it to be perfect…” I give Tamara a side long look and she appears a bit bewildered. “Sorry, am I making this all sound a bit much for you? I know I can get a bit carried away when I’m excited. Jump in if you want to.”
“No, no, it’s not that.” She pauses and bites down on her lip thoughtfully. “I’m just… well, I don’t want to keep asking this, but are you sure you want me to come? I don’t want to step on your toes…”
I hook my arm around the back of her neck and bring her to me, reassuring her with a kiss. “I do want you to come, for sure. Nothing would make me happier. The more I think about it, the more I like the idea.”
She visibly relaxes, her shoulders roll forwards and she smiles brightly. As her head bobs into a nod I know that I have her. Thank goodness. I don’t know if it would be the same without her by my side.
While Tamara talks, pointing out things on the map I realize that I haven’t even seen a spark of the girl who yelled at me on the train for spilling coffee accidently. There hasn’t been any time she’s lost her temper… not even when Al walked in on her naked which would be enough to send any girl over the edge! Maybe that’s why she doesn’t want to talk about it, because it was a heat of the moment, stress because of her job interview, not an actual personality trait thing. Well, fine by me, this side of her is absolutely adorable.
I don’t know why though, but I still can’t seem to resist making a joke. Maybe it’s to show her just how fine I am, or perhaps I’m just a crazed freak with absolutely no control over myself. I know that we’re past that now, I’m aware that it’s silly to tug us backwards, but my mouth flaps of its own accord.
“At least they don’t sell coffee on the Orient Express.” I nudge her side. “So, we’ll be fine if we do that.”