The One I Love

I hand him my phone without hesitation. He puts his number in and then texts himself. It says hi sweet cheeks, this is my number. Here is the address.

I raise my brows at the sweet cheeks. I also realize we are making plans for the next day but I still have to get through him taking me home without losing my cool again.

The fun evening has already taken my mind off of what happened, but now the embarrassment is seeping back in.

“You want dessert?” The waitress is back and looking impatient. I shake my head and he does the same.

“Just the check please,” he tells her.

We walk out and I feel like I ate too much. I also know I have garlic breath and pray when we get in the car I can find a mint hidden in my purse.

The ride back is quiet with both of us thinking. The song he wrote sits between us like a bomb that could explode any minute. I’m not bringing it up again and hopefully, he won’t either. It won’t do any good to argue about the song before I make my decision. I need a bubble bath, I decide and then he does the unexpected and puts his hand on mine.

The hand he touches is lying on my leg so now his hand is dangerously close to touching my thigh. I picture a world where I’m the type of girl who would take his hand and slide it between my legs. An ache I’m starting to get familiar with, starts to burn there and before I know it we’re at my house.

He gets out first so I don’t have to wonder if he’ll walk me to my door. I climb out and we walk side by side up to my apartment without saying anything. We stop on my doorstep and I wonder what I should do.

He leans down and presses his lips to mine. “Goodnight Addy. I’ll see you tomorrow at five pm. Okay?”

I just nod. The chaste kiss has thrown me off. I expected him to ravage me on my doorstep. I expected to have to fight with myself to tell him to go on. This was the opposite of being ravaged. I’ve scared him now and that makes me more upset than chickening out on the sex we earlier had. What if he decides never to try again?

I stomp around my house pouring a glass of wine and drawing a bath. I’ll figure out my life in the morning. Now I just want to relax and go to bed.

I can’t sleep though so I call Lila.

“I can’t sleep. I’m all wound up.”

“So, you gave it up?” She says with a giggle.

I think about how much to tell her. I decide honestly is probably the best policy.

“I freaked out when it was getting close to that. I let him do things to me and then ran away.”

“Oh no, did you just skip the dinner altogether?”

“No, we went out. I just had to be coaxed out of the bathroom.”

“What about singing with him? Did you make a decision?”

“I am still thinking about it, but I’m crazy and leaning toward doing it. We’re seeing each other tomorrow and he’s going to try and convince me some more.”

“Is he going to try and convince you to have sex with him?”

“I don’t know he gave me a sweet kiss after our dinner and left. I might have messed up when I freaked out.”

“I told you to let me give you some sex tips. Now you’ll have female blue balls. Have you had a bath yet?”

“No, I was about to pour some wine, run a bath and feel bad for myself.”

“Do yourself a favor and scoot up underneath that running water. You need to get off or your head is just going to be a jumbled mess. Enjoy your wine, think about him, and do what I say okay.”

“Lila you’re crazy.” I hang up the phone. If I was to enjoy my bath that much I certainly wouldn’t share it with her.

Chapter Ten

Charlie

I feel like a dick just leaving Ada at her front door last night. The truth is I don’t trust myself not to try anything with her again. Even though she said she’s not a virgin, my good girl senses are tingling. All morning I managed to have a lazy Tuesday. The guy I do work for has been on vacation, so I’ve not had to come in and work for two weeks. I know I should get productive and try to think about writing a song with more meaning, something so spectacular there is no way Ada can say no to being my partner.