I knew I couldn't.
There was no way I could keep this from them. Even if I decided to do what Allie was suggesting, I had to tell my parents. I had to own up to my mistakes. Whether I liked it or not, I had to tell them I was pregnant and find a way to deal with the fallout.
“I'm going to tell my parents though,” I said, feeling marginally better for having decided that. “I have to.”
“Are you sure that's a good idea?” Allie asked, raising an eyebrow. “I don't know your parents, but I know you've mentioned how strict and religious they are –”
“It may not be a good idea, but it's what I have to do,” I said. “Besides, my dad is a doctor, he'll understand. He'll support me – he has to, right?”
Allie didn't look so sure, and honestly, I didn't feel so sure myself.
ooo000ooo
“Maya,” my mom said, surprise in her voice as I stepped inside my family home, “we weren't expecting you tonight. Don't you have classes in the morning?”
“Yes, and I'll get up early and drive in,” I said with a fake smile. “I just needed to see you guys.”
Her eyes softened as she hugged me, thinking I came home because I missed them.
“Where's dad?”
“He worked a little late, but he should be home any minute now.”
“Good,” I said, my voice shaky as I removed my coat and scarf, hanging them up on the coatrack behind the door. “And Luke? Is he out for the night?”
I was hopeful. The last thing I needed was for my brother to be there to judge me and to mock me – especially considering the fact that the father of the child was his own best friend. Not that he'd know that, if Reese had kept our secret, anyway. I hadn't spoken to Reese since that night. He'd taken me back to my sorority house the next morning, dropped me off with a kiss and said he was leaving for LA so we probably wouldn't see each other again. I'd felt a twinge of sadness as I watched him drive off, but that was the deal. That's what we'd agreed to.
I just hadn't expected that I'd end up pregnant because of it.
“I think so? He didn't come home from work last night, so I don't really know. You know your brother and his friends,” she said, rolling her eyes.
“Yeah, I do. All too well.”
“I'm just glad one of our children turned out well,” she said, beaming with pride as she stared at me.
I had to look away from her. There was no way I could meet her gaze with the secret I was holding onto. I couldn't tell them until dad was home. He was the doctor; he'd be the logical one. My mom was emotional and was always concerned with what others thought of us. There was no way she'd take the news well. Not when I was their precious little angel. Not when I'd be neighborhood gossip when this got out.
Thankfully, the front door opened a moment later and my father stepped through it, kissing mom and looking at me with surprise.
“Well, look who decided to stop by!” he said, hugging me tight.
My dad's hugs usually always seemed to make everything better – but not this time. Not even daddy's hug could make this situation better. But perhaps his advice would.
My entire body was trembling and I was fighting a nauseous feeling in my stomach. My dad pulled away and stared at me, concern in his eyes. He looked at me and I lost control of myself and my emotions and began to cry. Normally, there was so much pride for me in those eyes, and I'd let him down. How could I not cry? I was probably never going to see that look of pride on their faces ever again.
“What's wrong, sweetie?” my mom asked, stepping up and putting her arm around my shoulders.
And before I could stop myself, I blurted out the news. No preamble. No softening of the blow – just threw the cold, hard truth out there.
“I'm pregnant,” I said.
And the room went completely silent and it felt like all of the oxygen had been sucked out. Neither my mom nor my dad said a single word for a long moment, and I would have sworn that they weren't even breathing.
“I'm sorry, I really am,” I sobbed. “I didn't mean for this to happen –”
“Who's the –” I knew what my mom was going to ask long before she spit out the words, but she couldn't bring herself to finish the sentence.
Knowing how they felt about Luke's friends, and knowing that Reese has made it perfectly clear that he didn't want to be serious with me, I did the only thing I could think of – I lied.