I stood there at her door, carrying the bottle of wine and feeling ready to play this game. I was dressed to give her the idea that I was at home in a pair of jeans. They were one of my prize possessions. I really did look good in them. You could see me coming and going. I was wearing a bulky white sweater to tone down my obvious assets that were a bit more than she could even wish to have.
I wasn’t comfortable with this kind of deceit. I almost canceled, but I knew that this was my way to break them up from the inside. I didn’t feel good about it, but I would do practically anything to get my man. I never thought that I had this instinctual need to fight for what I wanted. I didn’t know until I was put into the position where I had to find out.
I looked around at the neighborhood and it had that suburban feel where kids were inevitable. I could tell a lot from where she lived. It was clear that she wanted that white picket fence with a man and the children to go along with that happy picture. Several kids played soccer in the street. I could smell the sweetness of the flowers blooming by her doorstep.
I knocked on the door with my heart in my throat. I thought for sure that I was going to chicken out and run at the last second. I heard her footsteps approaching and then the door opened to reveal that she was playing the same part that I was. She had let her hair down by putting it into pigtails to give off that innocent quality. I wasn’t stupid. I knew that she was only doing that to make me feel at home so that I would let my guard down.
“I was wondering when you were going to get here. Dinner is almost ready, but we have a few minutes before we sit down. I see that great minds think alike.” She showed me what she was talking about by moving her hand that was out of sight behind her back so that I could see that she was also holding a bottle of wine. “I know that I could use a drink. Make yourself comfortable and I’ll be right back with a couple of glasses. I never did take into consideration that you might be allergic to something.” She was already moving and it was obvious that she wanted to get as much distance from me as she could to ready herself for the sparring match that was going to take place.
I went into the living room and her style was quite eclectic. There wasn’t really anything that went together. If I looked at it as a whole, there was some method to her madness. I sat down on a red couch.
I looked at the photos of her and her family. I saw that she was the youngest of all of them. They looked like a happy bunch and I felt sort of guilty for trying to undermine her relationship with August. It wasn’t going to stop me from grilling her mercilessly but in a very subtle way.
“I do hope that you enjoy chicken parmesan as much as I do. I put my own spin on it and there is a bit more spice to tickle the palate. I like to take normal everyday food and turn it into something extraordinary. I’ve always been under the adage that the best way to a man’s heart is through his stomach.” She passed me the glass of wine and I took a sip, even though I wanted to down the contents to numb my senses. “Let me get right to the point before dinner. I don’t trust you. I see the way that you look at him and it’s a lot more than admiration.” It appeared that she was going to be blunt. I was going to have to play this just right or risk her getting her ire up.
“There’s nothing for you to worry about. Just because I like the view doesn’t mean that I’m going to buy the land. You can’t possibly believe that he’s a one-woman kind of man. He has admitted to having the flaw of wanting to experience new things. I can’t be with a man like that, no matter if he does look like a GQ model right out of the magazine. Besides, do I really look like his type? I don’t mean to put myself down, but look at you and then look at me.” I once again gave her more to think about without coming out and saying that she was going to get her hair pulled out if she tried anything with August.
I thought that my heart was frozen, but when I heard him say my name it was enough to make me smile. He had this tendency to drive me wild by just being in the same room. I kinda missed the way that he flirted and tried to make me blush.
“I see what you’re saying. I’ve seen all the signals and I’m not sure that he can get away from his past. I’m trying hard to understand the man. It does break my heart to even think about him stepping out on me. I’ve tried to keep him at an arm’s length, but it’s difficult when the only thing that I can think about is putting him to the test in the bedroom to see if we are compatible.” I could see that she was using that sisterly bond to make me a confidant.
“I don’t mean to be a poison pill. I’m not suggesting that he doesn’t have some redeeming qualities. If you are putting off sleeping with him, then that might be best. We both know that once we go that far that there’s more than an emotional connection. I would be lying to myself if I didn’t say that I did want him. I fantasize about what it would be like to be with him, but I can’t take that risk. I’ve had my heart broken too many times to go down that road again.” I was purposely being truthful and giving her the idea that procrastinating was best until she was able to figure out if he was the kind of guy that could be trusted not to stray.
“I admire your candor and you could have told me that you were not even interested. I wouldn’t have believed you for a second, but saying it up front makes me feel better. I fantasize about that moment myself too many times to count. It has left me with sleepless nights and this desperate need to cling to him. I don’t want to be the kind of woman that will always wonder if his late nights are more than they are supposed to be. I don’t want to be waiting up for him and smell somebody’s perfume or see that lipstick on his collar.” She had all but convinced herself that he wasn’t the kind of man that was made for suburban life.
I’d just fed into her doubts about his character. I wasn’t putting him down, but I wasn’t putting him in a good light either. I gave her reason to take a step back.
“I know that some people think that life is too short, but we need to protect ourselves. There are too many men that say one thing and do another. They might mean well, but that wandering eye is something that has been ingrained into them. It could be the influence of their father or maybe lack of a parental figure. I really can’t say for sure. I think that you noticed that August keeps his personal life close to the vest.” I got the feeling that she thought that this was going to be her way of telling me to stop thinking about him at all. I had
turned the tables and we were now talking like old friends.
“I would like to use you as a conduit between him and myself. I know that I’m asking you to spy on him for me. Being women, we have to stand by one another. I think that we can table this conversation until after dinner. I have been slaving over the stove for the past couple of hours and I would really like to hear your opinion of my creation.” She had on a long blue shirt that covered her jeans almost down to the knees.
I followed her despite my misgivings until I was sitting down and waiting for her to fuel my appetite. She put the food in front of me and the aroma hit me like a ton of bricks. She really did like to play with spices. I was afraid that I was going to burn the roof of my mouth off. I took one bite and it had subtle overtones of heat, but not enough to make me go running for the water.
“I would say that if medical school didn’t work out that you have a real gift for cooking. I don’t see any reason why culinary school has to be out of the question. The Cordon Bleu is an accredited school and one that you could learn a lot from.” I really did mean what I was saying, but on the other hand, it seemed like I was pushing her in a different direction. “Are you sure that medicine is your true calling? You don’t just dabble in the kitchen; you create masterpieces with your bare hands. This is something that you should share with the rest of the world. I see the way that you smile at my comments and you love the praise for your food.” This was a good way to lead her by the hand into another vocation.
“All of my brothers are doctors and I thought that it was my purpose in life to follow in their footsteps. My mother is a Physician and my father is a professor of medical studies. To be honest, I never really did think that I had what it took to be a doctor. I only did it to appease them. I do love cooking, but I never thought that I could make it my career. Do you really think that I have the talent to make it my life?” There was no point in lying to her. I was sure that she was waiting for someone to tell her that it was okay to live for herself and not for her family.
“You’ve thought about this before. You can’t sit there and tell me that I’m the only one that has raved about your food. Anybody that sits down to something that you make with your love of cooking would have to tell you. Doesn’t August find your food to die for?” I waited for her response, but it didn’t stop me from eating everything on my plate and having this desperate need to lick it afterward.
“August is not exactly an unbiased audience. You have been a breath of fresh air. I don’t feel like I have to be something that I’m not around you. I think under other circumstances that we could’ve been fast friends. I’m just not sure that we can be friends with the both of us having eyes on the same man. I know that you would never do anything about your attraction and that does help me to sleep at night. You shouldn’t put yourself down. You say that you are not his type, but I think any man that finds himself close to you will feel differently. I don’t want to ever hear you make disparaging comments about your appearance. You deserve that man that is going to put you on a pedestal.” I thought for sure that I was going to hate her, but I found myself liking her despite the fact that she was with August.
“It’s not my place to say, but if you are truly thinking about changing direction in your life then maybe keeping things cool in the bedroom is a good idea. You must know that there’s no place that he wants to be than here. I’m not suggesting that you break it off with him and far from it. I’m just saying that it would be better to air on the side of caution.” I came over here precisely to sabotage any chance of them getting into the bedroom. She had all but done that for me.
“You do make sense on paper, but have you seen him? It’s a wonder that I haven’t lost my mind and done something already. I want to and you have no idea how much it hurts me every time that he leaves with a deep and longing kiss. I don’t know if I’m strong enough to resist him. I feel like I’m falling apart. I don’t want any man to have that kind of power over me, but I can’t help the way that I feel. I don’t know if this is love, but there is definitely an infatuation that needs to be dealt with sooner than later.” I had tried everything that I could to chill the air of her excitement.
“Don’t you think that we all do foolish things because of a pretty face and a body to match? That is the danger of dating. You never know when one date will turn into a one night stand or if it’s going to be something more lasting. I see that you come from a big family. It gives me the idea that maybe you want a big family of your own. Your parents are still together, but are they truly happy or are they just staying with each other for the kids?” I wanted to know if marriage and children were something that she saw in her future.
“I’m the only girl in the family. I sometimes wonder if my parents are happy. They don’t see each other that much. It’s almost like they want it that way. I don’t think that my brothers have any idea that there might be trouble in paradise. I want my parents to show some affection, but I don’t think that they have the capacity for that kind of public display of affection. I do want marriage and kids, but only when it feels right. Everything has to fall into place in exactly the right way and at exactly the right time. I don’t see that there’s anything wrong with having a bit of fun. August might not be walking down the aisle anytime soon, but there is chemistry that needs to be taken out of the laboratory.” I could see that fire. It wasn’t the same way that I felt for August, but it certainly would leave him no other choice but to drop his pants.
“Men might not seem incapable of showing emotion, but we both know that they feel deeply. I don’t want you to use him and then to toss him aside when you’re done with him. Remember, I still have to work with him and having him moping around the office is not going to be good for anybody.” I left it at that, feeling like I had done what I had come over here to do, but in an entirely different way.
“I know that you wanted me to get the skinny on her and I think that I did that. I’m just not sure if I should share with you something that she told me in confidence. It would be wrong. I think that I’m going to need some convincing to betray her trust.” I’d found him lamenting over what Julia had done when he came over after getting knock down drunk with his friend.
“I acted like an idiot last night. I fell into the same habits. I shouldn’t have gone over to see her in that state. I was feeling horny. That’s no excuse, but it is an explanation. Let’s just say that she wasn’t very receptive to a booty call at midnight. I didn’t want to make her feel dirty. She probably thought of herself as nothing but a piece of meat. The slam of the door in my face sobered me up very quickly. I don’t know what I was thinking. I just need to know from you if I’m wasting my time. I need to make amends, but I don’t want to grovel unless I think that this is going someplace.” I had him by the short hairs and I could twist her words in my favor.
“You should’ve treated me like a sponsor last night. If you had called me and told me what you were planning, I would’ve cut you off at the pass. We all do stupid things in the name of so-called love. I’m guessing that you didn’t feel very good about how you felt after seeing your friend. You wanted to make yourself feel better by going to her and getting some of that tender loving care. You should’ve gone home and slept it off. By making an ass of yourself, you took away all the hard work that you’ve accomplished up to this point. I have some good news and some bad news.” I was going to be straight up with him and not sugarcoat it in any way.