I felt a pleasant hum and buzz between my legs as I went over our carnal activities from the night before. I smiled to myself and touched my lips where he’d kissed me so many times before we’d finally passed out in a heap of sweat and joy.
I’d never shared a bed with someone before. Not even when I was a child and I had nightmares. My papa wasn’t the sort of man to let me come into his space, even when I was frightened, and Mama died when I was a little baby. I’d only ever known a cold, deep loneliness at night and in the mornings, and it was strange seeing Carmine still asleep, the way he breathed, how calm his face was, how his chest rose and fell with a steady rhythm.
I got out of bed slowly. When I stood, Carmine rolled onto his back and grunted, his eyes still shut. “Father,” he whispered, his face screwing up in a pained grimace. “Mother, please.”
I stared at him as he sighed and rolled over onto his other side.
A nightmare. A bad dream about his parents.
I couldn’t imagine what he was going through. He’d lost his parents in a violent attack, and now he was tearing up the city to try to get his revenge. But that didn’t mean he wasn’t grieving them still. From what I could tell, they’d had a good relationship.
I quietly got dressed. I hesitated and smelled something delicious. Coffee and bacon. No doubt about it. I knew that smell anywhere. I opened the door and slipped out into the hall, heart racing, afraid of what I’d find. Some crazy part of me thought I’d find Oscar working the stove with a wild, manic grin on his lips.
Instead, it was Capri.
Her hair was up in a bun. She wore a pair of leggings and an oversized sweatshirt. She was busy flipping the bacon, humming to herself, while Mal hustled all around, getting out plates and cups and pouring her a mug of coffee. I stood and watched them for a second, and smiled when Mal paused to kiss his wife on the neck. The way they worked together so seamlessly and seemed to get so much joy from being around each other was intoxicating. I’d always wanted that for myself, but I knew it would never happen.
There was too much holding me back. How could I have a partner and a lover when I couldn’t even tell someone about the truth of my own life? I was a freaking mess, and even though I’d woken with Carmine’s arms around me, I still couldn’t bring myself to imagine a future where we acted like Cap and Mal.
“Good morning,” Mal said, noticing me.
Cap turned and grinned. She shook the spatula at me. “I was wondering when you’d get up. Late night?”
“Uh,” I said. “What are you two doing here?”
“Carmine gave us the code to his fancy elevator,” Cap said. “I thought it might be nice to surprise you with breakfast.”
“Carmine told us about Oscar,” Mal said, his dark eyes blazing into mine. He was such a big monster, a beautiful beast. “Don’t worry. I have half my men out looking. I’ll find him.”
I grimaced and blushed. “How much did he say?”
“Only that your guard is a traitor and he hurt you. Nothing more than that, and it’s none of my business.”
“Thank you,” I said, blinking rapidly. I felt a little stone in my throat—more tears.
Mal nodded and set the table while Capri came over and ushered me into the kitchen.
“Now, don’t get that weepy look on your face, okay?” Capri said, admonishing me. “This is what friends do for each other.”
“We hunt down enemies and kill them slowly,” Mal clarified.
Capri gave him a look. “Do you need to be so explicit?”
“She should know.” He gestured at me. “You want to know, right? How he’ll die very slowly?”
“I’m not sure I need details,” I said, looking down at my hands.
Mal grunted and Cap waved her spatula like a sword in his direction. “Finish setting the table, you big brute.” She hugged me close and kissed my cheek. “It’s okay, really, sweetie. Now, get yourself some coffee and go wake Carmine up. That man never sleeps this late. I don’t know what you’re doing to him in that bedroom, but keep it up.” She gave me a lascivious grin.
I gaped and shook my head, wide-eyed. “We’re not doing anything.”
Cap rolled her eyes. “I hope that isn’t true. Two young people in the prime of their lives should be fucking like rabbits, especially when they have a deep connection.”
“We don’t have a deep connection.”
“So you admit to the rabbit fucking?”
I glared at her. “I didn’t say that.”
“I’ve noticed that you haven’t been limping as much lately. Does Carmine’s very skilled hands have anything to do with it?”