Unfortunately, our house is in view of Aunt Raven and Uncle Razor’s place. All of the lights are on in the house, two bikes are parked in the driveway, and I know for a fact Auntie’s car is parked in the garage. Uncle Razor would never let her car sit out in the elements. God, do I want to go over there, run into Ryder’s arms, and pretend he didn’t rip my heart out because of my father’s orders. Too bad I’m still pissed at him. There’s only one place on this patch of land where I know I’ll be left alone. I don’t care if it means sleeping outside for the night. There’s no way I’m going back. So, with that thought in mind, I wrap my cardigan around my body a little tighter, wishing like hell I’d have at least changed out of my shorts into a pair of pajama pants or leggings. But I guess this will have to do. I mean, it’s not like much more could happen. Seeing the love of your life dismiss you like yesterday’s trash, check. Broken heart, check. Dad being a part of ruining said broken heart, check again. Yep, today has to be the best welcome back a girl could ever ask for. Maybe Wyoming isn’t such a bad idea after all.
CHAPTER 9
HAWK
My eyes clocked the shadow walking between the trees, even with the Jack Daniels swirling through my body, which was nowhere near doing enough to impair my judgment.
“Be easy on her, alright? I know you made sure you weren’t home when she visited, but that girl has never stopped looking for the man who stole her heart,” mom says to me. Dad moved to the couch with the weight of the world on his shoulders, the exact reason I kept my mouth shut all these years. He and Shovel are thicker than any blood bond, and this could shake things up.
“Just like I never stayed away for long either.” I keep it vague, but Mom isn’t dumb; she reads between the lines plain as day.
“Later, son.” Dad waves his hand as I walk to the door.
“See you tomorrow, Pop. Bye, Mom.” There’s no way on God’s green earth that I want to think about what will come tomorrow. Shit is going to get hard and very well could fall apart. I keep my distance while following Ender, not wanting to spook her with it being the dead of the night and her not having a flashlight or her phone from what I can tell.
Ender holds her arms wrapped around herself, as if she’s fighting off the cool air or to protect herself. I’m not sure which, but I know all it does is make me want to take it all away, all the pain I’ve caused her. The fact that I wasn’t man enough to say fuck the club and family to go after her, even knowing if I did that, it could have set us both up for failure. Shit, I clearly should have done something other than what I did, and I’ll have to live with the fact that we lost four years already, and who knows however many more it’ll take to get Ender to trust me again.
“Figured you were heading here.” I wait to make a move until she’s sitting on the thick, overgrown grass. There was a time when I’d keep it mowed down for days and nights like this. After Ender left, though, I figured it wasn’t worth caring about anymore.
“Jesus, Ryder, way to scare the shit out of a girl.” I sit down beside her, closer than necessary but figuring if she’s cold, it’ll block some of the wind.
“Yeah, I should probably explain things. I owe you that much.” I shrug my shoulders. Ender pulls her knees into her chest, cheek going to one side, so her eyes are on me when I talk.
“I’m not sure that I’m up for talking. It’s too much, Ryder. It’s all been too much for too freaking long.” There’s a tiredness in her voice, like she’s weary and down to her bones tired.
“You let me know when you’re ready. How about I just sit her beside you until you’re ready to go back home? You know, scare the boogie man away from scarin’ the shit out of you,” I attempt a joke that sounds lame even to my own ears.
“Okay. Not sure I’ll be heading home anytime soon. It may be a while.” Ender closes her eyes, a sheen of tears coating her dark minky eyelashes.
“Got nothing else to do. Rest your eyes, sleep if you need to. I let you leave before, I’m not lettin’ that happen again. This time, I’m stickin’ around. Not some punk ass kid that is worried your dad will run me out of town.” She nods her head, swallows loudly, and then tears begin to fall like drops from the sky. My only wish is that Ender would at least let me comfort her. That’s not likely to happen, so instead, I settle in for as long as she’ll let me.