I get what she’s saying but still. “Why were you surprised? He was clearly an asshole from the beginning.”
“I guess I’ve never thought of it like that,” Vanessa says.
I keep my opinions to myself after that, but I think it’s kind of shitty not to tell a man that he has a child whatever the reason. It’s not about you anymore. It’s about that child.
“Why am I sensing some judgment here?” Vanessa says.
We’ve gone around the block and are approaching the house from the opposite side.
I’m not sure whether to be honest or not. “I just think it’s not fair to keep such serious information from someone.”
“It’s also easy to judge when you have absolutely no experience in the matter,” Vanessa snaps.
“You don’t need experience to know right from wrong. What happened with you and him is a separate matter from Ivy.”
“It’s not as simple as right from wrong. I have to think about what’s right for my daughter. What if he hurts her since he’s someone who is clearly careless with people’s feelings?” she says. “What if he’s a bad father?”
We’ve reached home and are facing each other on the front lawn. I can’t believe how strongly I feel about this and I need Vanessa to understand my point of view.
“It’s not up to you to decide that, Vanessa. He should know,” I say hotly.
She glares at me and then takes the stroller from me. “You’re an opinionated idiot and you have no idea what you’re talking about. What do you know about babies and responsibility?”
“What?” I ask her, taken aback by the personal attack. “What do you know about me?”
“I know that you’re a playboy and you don’t commit to relationships and here you are standing on a high horse, telling me what I should do with my life and my daughter’s?”
Before I can throw a rejoinder, Vanessa turns and pushes the stroller around to the back door and out of my view. I’m left standing there stewing, wondering how our pleasant walk could have gone so wrong.
Where the hell did she get that information about me? I’m guessing her sister or Ace. He likes to tease me that I’m a playboy, but I’d never have expected him to tell someone else.
I follow her to the back but instead of entering the house, I go to the cottage to work off my frustration. There are still more tiles in the kitchen to remove as well as in the bathroom. They will all have to be replaced, which means a longer time for Vanessa and Ivy to be in my house.
How will we share the same space if we’re fighting like cats and dogs? The whole thing was stupid, I admit, after an hour of working when my irritability has abated. I took the whole issue of Ivy’s dad entirely too personally. I mixed it up with my situation with Jade, which is unfair because the situation is different. Or maybe similar? I don’t fucking know. If she had come looking for me a month or two after our short affair, she would definitely have found me with another woman.
The difference with me is that I never made any promises to her. I never pretended to be something I’m not. From the start, Jade knew that our relationship was strictly physical. I always make that clear.
In fact, the only time I’ve not made that clear was last night with Vanessa. But clearly, it wasn’t necessary, now that I know she believes me to be a playboy. It suits me. As long as she believes that I’m a playboy, she won’t expect anything deep from me.
I should be celebrating that I’ve dodged a bullet. Instead, I feel miserable and restless. As if I’m missing something in my life, which is daft because I’ve always lived this way. I love my life. It’s uncomplicated and fun. Then I remember Emma and guilt grabs me by the throat.
My life is anything but uncomplicated.
I work steadily for the next few hours and at three o’clock I grow hungry and tired. I head to the house and the kitchen. A note is pinned to the fridge. It’s from Vanessa saying that she and Ivy are off to her mother’s house.
I’m disappointed but I push it away and concentrate on finding something to eat. I make a ham sandwich and some coffee and as I’m sitting at the island eating, my phone rings.
It’s my brother, Josh. We exchange pleasantries and then he invites me for a drink. He offers to pick me up.
“Just give me twenty minutes to shower,” I say. I finish my sandwich and tidy up the kitchen before heading upstairs to shower.
In the bathroom, I ignore the sudden wave of arousal that comes over me as thoughts of Vanessa fill my brain. I wish she was in her with me. I imagine rubbing soap all over her voluptuous body and my erection builds up. I don’t know how my hand ends up fisting my cock. Beads of precum form at the tip of my cock and I pump harder. My cock grows steel-hard, and I desperately need a release. I picture Vanessa taking it into her mouth and licking the length of it while staring up at me. My groans fill the room as the fantasy takes root.