Janice comes bouncing out of her apartment building. “Hey, bro,” she says when she gets in the car. “I bet you’re ready to shit yourself with nerves.”
I’ve told Janice the whole truth that I haven’t seen Emma since the day she was born. “You have a way with words, sis.”
She laughs. “I would be if I were you. As Emma’s aunt though, I feel super excited. I can’t wait to cuddle her.”
I’m grateful for her excitement, it’s keeping me from focusing on myself and my nerves.
“How are things going with your new tenant?” she asks and when I’m quiet as I search for the right words, Janice continues talking. “Please don’t tell me you’re already sleeping with her.”
I shoot her a fake horror-stricken look. “What do you take me for, sis?” Does everyone in my family believe that I can’t keep my hands off women? It’s an uncomfortable thought and an untrue one.
Vanessa is different. She’s hot and fun and she wants uncomplicated too. She’s said a few things hinting that she’s not interested in a serious relationship either, which is fantastic news for me. I’ve even gotten the bright idea to learn a few things about caring for a baby from her. Who knows? Maybe I’ll reach a point where I’ll feel comfortable taking Emma home for a day.
“Relax,” Janice says. “Just checking. So, tell me about Jade, what was she like?”
I’ve had a lot of time to remember Jade since I learned about Emma, three months ago. “She was feisty and crazy.” She had amused me, but I’d known from the very beginning that even if I’d wanted a relationship, Jade was not the kind of woman I’d have picked. She had been too restless and too crazy. The kind of woman who had wanted to fill her life with fun experiences. Sadness comes over me. I remember her thirst to see the world. She didn’t get a chance to do that.
“The whole thing is just so sad. Poor Emma,” Janice says.
We get to Vanessa and Morris’ home and I park my car behind a small Fiat. I inhale deeply as I kill the engine.
Janice takes my hand and squeezes it. “You’ll be fine bro.”
I nod grimly.
We leave the car and before we reach the front door, the door flings open. Valerie stands there with a huge smile. She steps out onto the porch and opens her arms to hug me. “I can’t tell you how nice it is to see you in person, Logan,” she says as we hug.
I introduce Janice to her.
“Emma’s aunt. It’s a pleasure to meet you,” she says and hugs Janice too. “Please come in. We’re all in the living room.”
Janice ah’s when she enters the living room. I follow her with my heart pounding so hard it feels like a horse galloping in my chest. Then I see her, cradled in her grandfather’s arms drinking milk from a bottle.
“Hello, sir,” I say unable to peel my eyes away from my daughter. She’s become so big from the last time I saw her.
“Call me Morris,” he says.
Valerie introduces my sister and invites us to sit down. Janice sits as close as she can to Morris and Emma.
“She’s so pretty,” Janice gushes.
“Can I get you anything?” Valerie says. “Coffee maybe?”
We both say no at the same time.
“Can I burp her?” Janice says when Emma finishes her bottle.
Where did she learn all this stuff about babies?
“Yes, of course,” Morris says, and Janice stands up to take the baby from him.
Emma is exactly how Vanessa described three-month-old babies. Her eyes are a deep shade of blue and they keep darting around the room and settling on the faces.
“Hey, you,” Janice coos. “I’m your Aunt Janice. Can I kiss her?”
Valerie laughs. “Of course, you can, you’re her aunt.”
Janice kisses Emma gently on her cheek. I’m glad I brought her along. Her bubbly personality gets rid of any awkwardness there would have been had I come alone.
“Emma is a happy baby, as you can see,” Valerie says. “She only wakes up twice in the night and the only time she cries is when she’s hungry or needs a diaper change.”
Janice asks her tons of questions, information she’s going to relay to my mom, I’m sure. Time goes fast and panic wells up in my chest when it dawns on me that we’re not too far from leaving and if I intend to hold her, this is the time.
As if reading my mind, Janice turns to me. “Would you like to hold her?”
“Yes, please.”
She stands up and gently hands Emma to me. The first thing I notice is her baby smells. No wonder Janice wanted to kiss her. Her pretty little eyes focus intently on my face and as I hold her, my insides begin to melt.
My daughter. My own flesh and blood. I lower my head and kiss her soft, delicate cheek. My heart swells, squeezing my chest. A love so overwhelming comes over me as I stare at my daughter.