“How did you know how to find Grandpa and Grandma then?” Audrey asks.
The story of how we go to know the identity of our father is as fascinating to them as it was to Logan and Ace when we told them.
“This was meant to be,” Audrey says. “We were meant to meet and get to know each other, maybe even be a family.”
It’s something I’d dared not hope; that Audrey and Clara would look at us like family. Syrupy warmth spreads in my chest.
“Did he ever talk about us?” Lexi asks.
They shake their heads and then Audrey remembers something. “He never once mentioned that he’d had another family, but he carried this aura of sadness about him that nothing could ever penetrate.”
“Yeah,” Clara says, her tone sad. “It didn’t matter how well you did at school or what you accomplished. It was never enough to bring him out of that melancholy.”
“I asked Mom once,” Audrey said. “She shrugged it off and pretended not to understand what I was talking about. But I saw it in her eyes. She knew what had caused it.”
“When our grandparents came to the house and told us that you had shown up at their house, it all made sense,” Clara said. “Father had nursed a broken heart all his life.”
“He had gotten another family to replace the one he lost but it could not heal the hurt he felt,” Audrey said. “He might not have talked about you, but he missed and thought about you every day of his life.”
My cheeks feel wet, and it takes a few seconds to realize that tears were flowing down my cheeks. I’ve wanted this so much. To know that he had not forgotten about us. That he had thought about us and missed us.
It saddened me to know that his life had been spent mourning a life that was gone. If it had affected him that much, why hadn’t he made the effort of looking for us? The questions I had could only be answered by one person. My father. And he was gone forever.
The waiter brought our food and I excused myself to go to the bathroom to wash my face. I took my phone with me and when I checked it, there was a message from Logan wanting to know how I was doing. It made me smile.
When I returned to the table, I found my sisters getting to know each other. It turned out that Audrey was a nurse as I had been, and Clara was a music teacher. It was fun comparing notes about our hobbies and stuff that we liked.
“Mom asked us to invite you for dinner,” Audrey said. “She would love to get to know you.”
Lexi and I exchanged a glance and then nodded. “We’d love to. She must be a very special woman to want to meet the products of your dad’s first relationship.”
Audrey held Lexi’s glance. “He’s your dad too. So ‘Our dad.’ To answer your question, Mom is a reasonable human being. She accepts that Dad is the one who chose to be that way. It had nothing to do with you guys.”
Audrey’s words stay with me all day. Dad had had choices and he had made them. I have choices too, but I want mine to be the correct ones.
Chapter 28
Logan
“Relax, they don’t bite,” I tell Vanessa as she sits stiffly in the passenger side. We are on the way to pick up Emma to go to my parents’ home to meet her Grandpa and Uncles. The ladies of my family have already met her.
It’s also a good opportunity to introduce Vanessa to my family. She and Ivy have become important to me and somehow crept into my heart. I can’t keep denying what is happening between us. We’ve become more than lovers. Vanessa has turned me from an iceman to someone who has started to feel emotions. I never thought I would feel more than lust for a woman. It’s fucking frightening but the alternative is worse. I’ve quickly gotten used to going home after a shift knowing that my girls are waiting for me.
And soon, I’ll have my other girl home as well and we’ll be a full house. The thought makes me grin like an idiot.
“What?” Vanessa says. “You’re smiling.”
I wink at her, but I don’t share my thoughts. I don’t want to frighten Vanessa off. Getting her to come with me for lunch at my parents had been hard enough. I’d felt her withdrawing as soon as I’d asked her. She was afraid of what was happening between us.
“I’m just happy,” I finally say.
We get to Morris and Valerie’s place and after parking the car in their driveway, Vanessa and I make our way to the front door. Valerie answers the door and I introduce Vanessa.