Chapter 29
Vanessa
“Why the long face and dramatic pause?” Eva asks strolling into my office. She gestures at my cell phone dangling from my hand.
“I’m working up the courage to call Gabriel.” Just saying it aloud makes me tremble inside.
“You’ve decided to tell him about Ivy?” she says and perches on the edge of my desk.
My mouth is so dry I can barely speak. I nod in reply.
Eva frowns. “You’re not going to tell him over the phone, are you?”
The look of horror on her face gets me giggling. “No, I won’t even though he deserves it.”
“I’ll hold your hand if you like,” Eva says.
“You don’t want to have your hand crushed,” I tell her. Before I seriously contemplated telling Gabriel about Ivy, it did not seem like such a big deal. Not that the moment has come, it dawns on me that it is a big deal.
Ivy is almost eight months old now. Then there were the nine months when I was pregnant. That makes it seventeen months when I could have told him that I was carrying his baby, but I chose not to.
I take a deep, stabilizing breath and search for his number in my phone contacts list. My hands are damp with sweat when I find it. I call before I can change my mind.
He answers on the second ring. “Vanessa, what a wonderful surprise and coincidence. I’ve been thinking about you, obsessively, I must confess in the last few weeks. How are you?”
That throws me off. I was not expecting friendliness considering the last time we were together. “I’m fine thanks. How are you?”
“Fine, busy at work. Missing you,” he says, adding that last part with a wistful tone.
“I was hoping we could meet and talk,” I say. “When you’re free, that is.”
“You don’t know how happy it makes me to hear you say that. Can we meet this evening?” he says.
I shake my head in disgust. He probably thinks I want to rekindle our romance. As if. “Four o’clock?”
“Perfect. we can meet at that cocktail bar you like? The Alms?” he says.
I’m about to protest as I don’t want Gabriel at the Alms, tainting my favorite cocktail bar. Then I remind myself to look at the bigger picture. Ivy. That’s all that matters. “I’ll be there. See you later.” I quickly disconnect the phone.
“I can’t believe I once found him attractive,” I say my voice dripping with disgust at myself.
Eva chuckles. “All women say that about their exes. Mind you, men don’t say that.”
“Meaning?” I ask her harshly.
She shrugs. “Just something I noted, that’s all.”
“That’s not like him at all though,” I comment, replaying the conversation in my head. “His style is to give me a bit of a hard time.”
“It doesn’t matter,” Eva says and stands up. “As long as he’s at the Alms bar at four o’clock, he can play all the mind games that he wants.”
“You’re right.”
When Eva leaves my office, I reach for my phone again to text Logan.
Me: My sexy firefighter…
Logan: Hey babe. What’s going on?
Me: I’m going to meet Gabriel at the Alms later. I’m planning on telling him about Ivy. Wish me luck.
He takes a little longer to reply but he’s at work and probably in the middle of something.
Logan: You don’t need luck sweetheart. Any man would be proud to claim Ivy as his daughter.
Me: Thank you.
Logan: Do you want me there? I can leave work early.
Me: Thanks for the offer but I think this is something I need to do alone. I’ll see you later at home.
***
I arrive at the Alms Bar a little early to calm my nerves. If I wasn’t driving, I would have had a glass of wine, but I order water instead. As I sit sipping my water and staring at the door, I remember the first time I told Logan about Gabriel and admitted that I hadn’t told him about Ivy. Logan had been incensed and had told me in no uncertain terms that Gabriel had a right to know. Fire had come out of my ears. I was so angry and I’d lashed out at him but he was right. Whatever my personal feelings are for Gabriel, he is still Ivy’s dad.
I spot him as soon as he enters. He looks around the bar and when he sees me, his face lights up. His smile was one of the things that had drawn me to him. I suppose it is the same for other women. He has a toothpaste smile that makes you want to smile back. It snares you in and makes you think he is a great person. I know better. I plaster a smile on my face and wave him over.
“Vanessa,” he gushes. “It’s so great to see you.” He bends down to kiss my cheek and then sits down opposite me.