I thrust into her in one movement with all my strength and she lets out a loud scream that I’m fearful will wake Ivy up. But it doesn’t and I continue fucking her, hard and fast.
I’m not expecting us to last at this pace and with all the emotions of the day. We don’t and Vanessa explodes first, letting off a string of dirty words I’d never heard from anyone else. I follow soon after, my balls tightening against my body and I cry out in pure pleasure as I blow into her like a hurricane.
Chapter 35
Vanessa
I feel rejuvenated after my first class for the week is over. There’s something about spending an hour with expectant women knowing that I’m helping make their journeys easier if not enjoyable.
Back in my office, I still have a smile as memories of the weekend come over me. After the welcoming home party for Emma, we had a quiet Sunday, just the four of us as the nanny had the day off yesterday. Watching Logan take care of his daughter pushed me into making the decision to do the paternity test.
It isn’t fair to deny Ivy the chance to have a relationship with her father. It could turn out to be a loving one like Logan’s and Emma’s. I want that for Ivy so badly. I texted Gabriel Sunday evening and we agreed that I should take Emma to his private practice on Thelma Street.
I haven’t told anyone except for Lexi but I didn’t tell her all the details either. I just mentioned that I’d pick Ivy up at ten-thirty and return her forty-five minutes later.
Deep down, I know that it’s the right thing to do, but I’m nervous and I hate that I have to let Gabriel back into my life. I keep reminding myself that his behavior as a lover is not a reflection of the kind of father he’ll be. My personal feelings for him don’t matter now. It’s now all about Ivy.
Eva comes in just as I’m about to leave and I only tell her that I have a few errands to run. She’s the third person who is important in my life who I haven’t told the truth. I’ll tell her afterward. For a reason I can’t explain, I feel like keeping this under wraps.
I get to Lexi’s place and park my car in the driveway.
Lexi opens the door. “Ivy went poop just a few seconds ago,” she says with a laugh. “I don’t know why kids wait until you’re almost leaving to do their business. Anyway, she’s getting her diaper changed.”
“It’s okay, I have a few extra minutes,” I say and follow Lexi into the living room.
“What’s with all the mystery?” she asks bluntly as only as a sister would. “Where are you going?”
“To Gabriel’s office. I agreed to let him do a paternity test,” I tell Lexi.
She nods. “Good decision. Do you want me to come with you?”
Warmth floods me. Family is everything. “I’ll be fine, thanks.”
“You know you’ll most likely have to share custody with him, right?” she says.
“That’s the purpose of this whole thing,” I tell her. The moment I made the decision to tell Gabriel about Ivy, I knew it would mean sharing her with him. It’ll be very hard, but I’m doing it for Ivy. I want her to grow up secure in the knowledge that both her parents love her, even though they’re not together. We talk until the nanny brings Ivy down.
“Thanks so much,” I tell her and take Ivy from her.
She knows how to kiss now, and she plants noisy kisses on my cheek, slathering my face with saliva. I laugh as overwhelming love comes over me. She is what matters.
“I’m surprised that Logan didn’t insist on coming with you,” Lexi says as she walks us to the car.
“That’s because he doesn’t know,” I tell her.
“Oh,” is all Lexi says but I can tell that she thinks I should have told him.
“I’ll see you in less than half an hour,” I tell Lexi before stepping on the gas.
My hands are damp with sweat and my heartbeat speeds up as we get closer to Gabriel’s office. I’m not sure what I’m nervous about. Definitely not the paternity test. I scold myself. I’m a nervous mess. I ought to follow the advice I give my clients at the childbirth education classes to name their fears. By doing so, they become less frightening and sometimes, even silly.
I guess I’m frightened of what will happen afterward. Will he want to have Ivy every weekend? Does he know how to take care of a baby? I almost laugh at that last worry. He’s a doctor for fuck’s sake, Vanessa. Of course, he knows how to take care of a baby. Working through my fears works and by the time we get to his office, I feel at peace and ready for where this will take Ivy and me.