“Did he ask to hold her?” Lexi says.
“Nope. After the first curious glance, that was it. He took the swab from her cheek and then we left.”
“That is weird but maybe he wants to be sure that he’s her father before getting emotionally invested,” Lexi says.
“That could be but still, you’d expect even a little interest. Anyone watching him would have thought he was being forced to do it.”
“Give him a chance. Maybe when he does verify that Ivy is his daughter his attitude will change,” Lexi says.
I grudgingly admit that she could be right. He might be saving his feelings for when he’s sure that Ivy is his daughter. I tell Lexi what I asked him about how Ivy will feature in his life.
“What did he say?”
“That’s when he said that they’re only married on paper. This whole thing is perplexing. Does his wife know that he’s a serial cheater?”
“She probably does from the sound of it,” Lexi says. “But why would she stay with him?”
“I don’t know and I don’t even care as long as he doesn’t get it into his brain that he’ll be coming to my cottage to visit her.”
Lexi places her hand on mine. “I know it seems messed up right now, but things will fall into place and settle down. You’ll see.”
Chapter 36
Vanessa
That evening, I get home at my usual hour of four o’clock. I’m shy about going into Logan’s house now that the full-time nanny is living there. A few minutes after I get home, a knock comes on the door and joy floods me knowing that it’s Logan.
“Hey, you,” he says when I fling the door open. “Emma and I waited for you to come and say hi, but you didn’t. She sent me to come and ask you why.”
I laugh and fall into his arms. “Sorry. I felt a little shy with Fiona there.”
He draws back to stare into my eyes. “Fiona knows you’re my girlfriend. There’s nothing odd about you coming to my place any time you want.”
“Okay,” I say and go on tiptoe and kiss his lips.
As the kiss deepens his hands cup my ass and pull me against his hard body.
“I’m so fucking tempted to carry you into your bedroom and make love to you,” Logan says when he comes up for air.
All air leaves my lungs. Make love. A thrill rushes through me. We’ve moved from having sex to making love.
“I’m tempted too but I have to go and say hello to Emma.”
“Fine,” Logan says with a fake groan of protest.
He takes my hand, and we head to the house. Fiona and Emma have made the upstairs living room their very own. Toys are strewn on the carpet, and they are on the floor playing.
Fiona leaves when we enter, and I pick Emma up and pepper her with kisses. She giggles and stares at me with such love, my chest squeezes painfully. My heart goes out to Jade. She never got to experience being a mother and Emma will not experience the love of a mother.
As I hold her in my arms, I make a silent promise to her. As long as I’m in her life, I will shower her with the kind of love her mother would have showered her with.
“She’s growing up so fast from that first time I saw her,” I tell Logan.
“She is. Now I understand why parents are always complaining about their children growing up so fast.”
We sit and play with Emma for half an hour and then it’s time for me to go and pick up Ivy. We agree that Logan and I will cook dinner at his place after I’m done with Ivy’s routine.
The evening is a pleasant one and Logan and I have dinner together while Fiona eats hers with the children in the play room. Later, I carry a sleepy Ivy home and after changing her into her pajamas, I take her to bed.
Logan comes an hour later, and we relax in the living room just talking. I like how easily we’ve found a routine to suit us. The only thing shadowing my happiness is the fact that I haven’t told him about my meetings with Gabriel. It seems weird to tell him now. It feels too late since I never told him the first time when Gabriel called me.
I’ll tell him tomorrow after we figure out how to move forward with co-parenting Ivy, I tell myself.
***
If I’d been nervous the day before, now I felt sick with worry and nerves. I have a bad feeling about this and despite knowing that I’ve done the right thing. I don’t understand Gabriel’s behavior.
I walk into The Alms at exactly four to find Gabriel already there. I pause at the doorway and take in a deep fortifying breath. I hate that I’m in this position where I don’t know what the future holds for me and my daughter.