“I know, I timed my arrival with precision,” she says proudly. “I’m here to take my favorite sister to lunch.”
“Oh, okay,” I say and return to my desk to turn off my computer. I’m pleasantly surprised by Lexi’s invitation to lunch. We don’t spend nearly enough time together.
When I’m ready, I grab my purse and we leave together. Eva is still in her office, and I wave goodbye and wish her a good weekend. She makes a joke about it being a dry, lonely weekend. It’s on the tip of my tongue to tell her that she’s not alone.
“Salad?” Lexi says as we stroll down the street.
“Sure.” She could have said anything or anywhere and my answer would have been the same.
Food has been the last thing on my mind since I ended my relationship with Logan. It’s as if he took all the things I enjoyed with him. We reach the salad bar down the street and find an empty table.
The server comes and I echo Lexi’s order. When the server leaves, Lexi looks at me with worry on her face.
“What’s going on, Vanessa? And don’t say nothing. I know you too well.”
I shake my head even before she finishes talking. I have no intention of telling her or anyone else what is going on in my life. I’m not the best actress but I give it my best shot. “What do you mean?”
“Vanessa, if you continue like this, you’re going to have a breakdown,” Lexi says. “Please talk to me. It can’t be that bad. I promise we’ll figure it out together. You know I’d do anything for you.”
To my shame, I burst out with a sob. That one sob is followed by a torrent of tears which I can’t control no matter how hard I try. I give up and give in to the tears. My chest feels as if it will burst. My head is on my hands on the table and Lexi makes soothing noises and smooths my hair back, just as she used to when we were kids and I’d hurt myself. Lexi’s hand was the one I craved when I needed comforting and even now when I’m an adult, it works its magic and I begin to feel better.
“Tell me,” she says when my sobs ease.
The whole tale tumbles out of me, and Lexi looks more and more shocked as it unfolds. Seeing the shock on her face makes me feel foolish and easily manipulated.
“Vanessa, how could you allow someone to threaten you like that?” Lexi says. “Why didn’t you come to me or Ace? You trust us, don’t you?”
Tears form in my eyes.
“Oh, Vanessa,” Lexi says. “He can’t forcibly take your child away from you. Don’t forget he’s a married man and he was when you conceived Ivy.”
Her words slowly penetrate my almost frozen brain. “Are you sure?”
She nods. “Plus, you have all of us on your corner. We won’t let him take Ivy,” she says fiercely. “Oh, Vanessa. No wonder you look as if you’ve been trapped in a corner. You’re not, Vanessa. You have choices, one of which is to date whoever you want.”
I want to cry with relief and anger at myself. It’s not the first time that I’ve allowed a man to manipulate me. Thoughts of Miles, my first boyfriend come over me but are quickly replaced by Logan. I hurt him so much.
“Will Logan ever forgive me? I carelessly tossed him to the side without a second thought. That’s how he saw it.”
“You did it for Ivy,” Lexi points out. “He’ll forgive you because he loves you.”
I hope so. I really do. I want him back.
“What will you do?” Lexi asks.
I smile as the beginnings of a plan come to me.
***
When Lexi and I part ways, I walk to my car with a bounce in my step. I feel like a new woman. Inside, I input Gabriel’s home address into my car’s navigation system. Gabriel gave me his address without a worry that I’d ever do anything with it.
He categorized me as a harmless mouse. It’s painful to admit that he was right. I let him bully me into ending the best relationship I’ve ever had in my life. The first man that I’ve ever trusted and loved unreservedly.
I allowed him to convince me that I had no rights. That brings tears to my eyes. If Lexi hadn’t forced me to tell her what was going on, would I have continued with the charade of dating him?
No, I wouldn’t have. I’d already reached the end of my tether before Lexi. My sister had been the gentle push I needed to see things as they were and reclaim my power.
I make a vow to myself that I intend to keep. Never again. I might have lost my chance with Logan, but I’ll never put allow a man to bully me again. I’ll never lose a good relationship without fighting for it.