But rejection wasn’t a way to build a new future, and he needed to come up with ways he and Dane could work as a couple. Should they swap in the role of the alpha male depending on whether they were at the junkyard or outside? Did that mean the necessity of swapping bed roles? Just the thought of it made Jag’s face hot, and he had to grip the seatbelt. He wasn't sure if he'd like that, but on the other hand, Dane lying on him when they cuddled always felt nice.
“Is that how men who like men usually do things in… your world?”
Dane shrugged, rubbing his thumb against Jag’s hand as the car moved through the woods. “Depends on the couple, but overall, I think it’s most common for all couples to at least try and share responsibilities.”
Jag had to work up the courage to speak, as asking for favors wasn’t in his nature. It made him feel weak. As if he couldn’t handle his own matters. “And would you be fine with taking care of more things when we’re out of the junkyard?”
“Of course! I know it’s gonna be unfamiliar to you, but if something’s unclear, you can always ask, and if you decide you want to go home early, I won’t be disappointed.” Dane swallowed, glancing Jag’s way as they followed the straight road. “It really matters to me that you agreed to this outing.”
“I want to see one of the movies you love so much. And you’ve been saying how much you want to watch this one.” Jag took a deep breath. “It’s just that… I can sign my name somewhere if needed, Frank showed me how, but I—does the movie have a lot of writing in it?”
Dane bit his lip, but his hand squeezed around Jag’s with a gentleness that left a dull throbbing in his chest. “Not much. They’ll all be talking, and I doubt you’ll need to sign anything, so don’t worry.”
Silence settled in the car as the hum outside grew in intensity, signifying that they neared one of the massive roads Shane called highways—as if they’d been meant to hang in the trees. Jag had been very disappointed when he first saw them. Broadways would have been a more accurate description, but it wasn’t like anyone asked for his opinion.
“Did your parents just not think it was a useful skill?” Dane asked out of nowhere.
Jag picked at the hair on his forearm. “I was the youngest son. My oldest brothers had basic reading and writing, but by the time I was born, Dad decided it wasn’t something for us. That people didn’t need letters in the past, so we shouldn’t waste our time on them either. But when I look back, I think he knew that the less we understood about the outside world, the harder it would be for any of us to leave. I didn’t give it that much thought until I left and had to fend for myself. His teachings helped me survive the trip through forests but left me helpless around people. Like all of a sudden I wasn’t the jaguar, but the lamb.”
“So you decided to stay hidden at the junkyard?” Dane suggested, and the truth in that statement stabbed Jag with shame.
Jag had to take a deep breath to stop the prickling in his eyes. “Because I have nothing to offer the outside world,” he admitted. If Dane was to be his man, was he not allowed to be Jag’s confidant and solace in ways Jag wanted to be that for him? “All these skills I think are useful and important don’t seem to matter to people. I often don’t understand their jokes, or why they do what they do. Other times, I feel dumb when they show me something I’ve been doing all my life can be done easier and faster with tools I didn’t have. I know I’m not stupid, I know I have so much to give, but no one sees it.”
Dane exhaled and let his hand move up Jag’s arm, never taking away its warmth. “Everyone is different, okay? If those people were lost in the woods, how easy would it have been for them to survive? If you want to learn the things that are important out here, I can teach you, but you impress me already. You’re so strong, and capable, and you don’t give up. When you are on top of me, I can forget all about the real world and just live in our own. And most people might not get your jokes, but I think you’re funny. Not to mention that the fact that you ran away from your family with so much stacked against you is beyond brave.”
Jag managed to smile as happiness bloomed in his chest. He’d never felt so accepted in his life, not even by Frank. Dane knew all his weaknesses yet still recognized his value. This was the kind of man who’d put his hand into muddy water and fish out the sole gold nugget. In the sunshine of his attention, Jag felt like the most precious stone, ready to be shown off to the world by the only man whose opinion mattered.