I swear West’s partner loves me. He really does. Even when he inhales a long breath, tells West he’ll be at the bar, and leaves us alone.
“What’s up?” West asks.
“How did you know … like … how did you know you wanted more. Umm, with me?”
West’s gaze narrows. “Why do you want to—” His gaze ping-pongs all over the room, trying to find Anton, no doubt. “Are you and Hayes still—”
I tug on his arm. “Not here.”
There are two doors leading outside to a balcony where smokers can have a cigarette, but there’s no one out here right now.
“Yes, Anton and I are still fucking around.”
West puts his hands in his pockets. “And you’re scared he wants more from you?”
Of course he’d think that.
“I’m scared I do.”
West flinches as if I hit him.
“Sorry. Maybe I shouldn’t talk to you about this, but you were and always will be my best friend, even if things got weird for a while, and I don’t know why I’m getting confused over him when I never did with you. It would’ve made so much more sense for this to happen with you, and maybe our timing was off or something—”
West starts laughing his ass off.
My neck burns, my skin tingles, and even as he bends to try to catch his breath, I’m struggling to see what’s so funny.
“Sorry. I’m not laughing,” he says … through laughter. “I just don’t know how else to react to that.”
“Neither do I, but with hysterical laughter isn’t even on my list.”
West stands upright. “Okay. Sorry. I’m done. I swear.”
“You sure?”
His face screws up, and he laughs some more.
“Oh, fuck you. Forget I said anything.” I turn to go back inside when West catches my arm.
“Sorry. Again. I … I don’t think my mind can comprehend this. When we were together, I thought maybe, possibly one day you’d think about settling down but you hadn’t got all the sleeping around out of your system. I was kinda over that scene by the end, and I was waiting for you to catch up. But you never did. Then—”
“Then you found yourself having to move home with an insta-family, and you realized you could never be serious about someone like me.”
“Aww, Ez. That’s not it at all. Our paths went in two different directions. You were in no way ready to settle down. But if you’re standing here telling me that you want to try to have a relationship with Anton, then I’m going to give you all the support in the world.”
“So again, how did you know?”
West is clearly struggling to find the words. “I … realized that when the night ended, I’d rather hook up with you than anyone else. But … don’t take offense to this, it was different with Jasper. With you, I didn’t care if you hooked up with anyone else. With him, I would cut a bitch who looked at him too long.”
I snigger, because we both know that West is all talk. He’s a big kitten who would skate away from fights on the ice.
“How do you feel when he’s with someone else?” West asks.
I start to feel really, really awkward about that. “You mean like talking …” Of course I know what he means, but I suddenly don’t want to admit that we’re exclusive.
“Fucking. Duh.” He eyes me funny.
“I wouldn’t know because he doesn’t sleep with anyone else.”
West looks surprised. “Okay, well—”
“And neither do I.”
“What? You’re exclusive?”
“Would we call it exclusive …” I try for dismissive, but West isn’t having any of it.
“Yes. That’s literally what that means.” He lets out a low whistle. “Are you guys already in a relationship?”
“No.” But when I think about it, we do hang out a lot. And talk. About things other than sex.
“But you want to be?”
“Maybe. I don’t know.” I pause. “Why him?”
“You’re …” West cocks his head. “You’re asking me why you like Anton?”
“I guess? Because I sure as hell don’t know. We still bicker, and up until a few weeks ago, I wasn’t sure if we were even friends.”
“What’s changed over the last few weeks?”
“That’s what’s driving me crazy. I can’t figure it out.”
West’s lips flatten.
“What is it?” I ask. “That’s your I have the solution but don’t want to say it face.”
“I didn’t realize I had a face that said that.”
“You do, and I want to know what you were thinking.”
“I was thinking that maybe you’re falling for Anton, and because you’ve never done that with anyone before, you’re freaking out.”
“I’m not freaking out. That’s not it.”
Oh fuck, is it?
Twenty-Four
ANTON
I press my tongue harder into my cheek to try and push down the rising emotions. Ezra left to get us drinks, and the second Westly Dalton approached him, I was completely forgotten about.
I’m still staring at the doorway they disappeared through as my overactive imagination conjures wild images that are impossible but I’m convinced are true.