I’ve done this dance with the devil once already, but we were both very different people.
CHAPTER FIVE
CILLIAN
Her raven hair blows in the wind as her dark hazel eyes stare at me. I never thought I’d ever see her again, but now that I have, I doubt I’ll make the same mistake again. Mia was my one and only. She was the woman I craved more than anyone else. I’d burn the entire world if it meant protecting her, but my father didn’t see it that way. He saw her as an illegitimate child who wasn’t worthy of me. He drilled into me that I needed to be with a mafia woman, even though her stepfather is a low-level general. Sure, he’s not at the top, but the only thing that should’ve ever mattered is the fact he’s loyal to the Bernardi famiglia.
She and I were nineteen when I broke it off. I did it to protect her, to keep her safe. My father told me he’d hurt her, that he’d make sure I wasn’t distracted if he had to. I knew what he meant. He was going to kill the only woman I ever cared about if I didn’t break her heart.
So, I did it. I destroyed her. I invalidated her. I made her feel as though there was no part of me that wanted her—when the reality was, I only wanted her. She was my everything, and within one day, she became my nothing. I’d do it all again to keep her safe, but it wasn’t easy.
In what world would I run right into her while in a city visiting my half-brother? I’m not much of a believer in fate, but I won’t make the same mistake twice. I’ll do anything to own her, even if it means starting a war with her father or even my own.
My phone begins to trill, so I glance down and dig it out of my pocket. When I look back up, Mia’s gone, but that’s okay. I know where she lives now, so I’ll find her again.
I tap the green button on my phone and bring it to my ear. “Miss Bosco, I’ve been waiting to hear from you.”
“Yeah, I figured. So, I’m here in this damn city. I’m at a pub . . .” Beretta keeps going until she tells me exactly where she is, so I begin walking in that direction. She’s only a few minutes away from me.
“I’m on the way over now. We can speak face-to-face this way,” I tell her, hanging up the phone in progress.
It takes me about five minutes to get to the pub, and just as I walk in, it starts to pour. I’d say I’m pretty lucky today. I head further inside and see the blonde woman sitting at a booth with a pint of beer in front of her.
“You look at home here,” I comment as I take a seat across from her.
“Yeah, well, I have a pint, and it’s a nice city. Much nicer than New York, that’s for damned sure. Doesn’t stink as much either.”
“America stinks much worse than European cities.”
“Yep. I got off the plane and expected to smell sewer rat, but nope,” Beretta says before she takes a sip of her pint.
“Did you find anything for me?”
Beretta stifles a laugh. “Did I find anything for you? Cillian, have you forgotten who I am? Look what I have here.” Beretta digs into her purse sitting beside her and pulls out old envelopes. They’re so old that the paper’s no longer white. Instead, it’s a yellowish color. “Read the one on the top that confirms the most information.”
4th of August 1967
Eimear,
I’m pleased to have received your letter about the child. Aisling is lucky to have you as a mother. Enclosed is a small gift for you both. I hope this will keep you both comfortable until the next month.
I’ve spoken to Maeve, as you knew I would. I wouldn’t dare keep this from her. She and I have been married for many years and have multiple children. I was honest and explained what happened, or rather the circumstances surrounding my actions of that night. I told her I believed you were dead, based on my father’s word.
I shouldn’t have trusted him so effortlessly, but alas, it’s been many years. There’s nothing that can be done to change it now.
Aisling is my child, but my life is with Maeve here in Dublin. I understand your home is now Belfast, so I’ve come up with an arrangement that will support us all. It’s an arrangement that will be beneficial for you and the child as well.
I will not claim any parental rights to the child, given I committed adultery when we reconnected. My wife has graciously accepted me back, and I need to focus on supporting my family here. I know from what you and I have discussed in previous letters that neither of us wanted you to uproot your life.