I press my thighs together because the thought turns me on. It’s a fight not to wiggle in my seat. If Archer for one second knows I’m turned on, he’ll have me naked and begging for more in seconds. He’s done it before, and he can surely do it again.
“If you say so.” He winks, taking a bite of his steak.
“I didn’t realize you lived here,” I say, picking up my own fork. I’m really not hungry but smelling and seeing all of this food laid out in front of us, there is no way I can resist now.
“My sister says I’m married to my job, but I already have someone searching for a house for us. We can’t raise a baby in a casino.” My fork pauses before it gets to my mouth. “Mila, please eat.” His tone softens. There is almost a plea to it.
“You’re right. It’s probably for the best not to raise a baby in a hotel, but maybe for the first few years it wouldn’t matter,” I add before taking the bite.
“How so?” he asks.
“I mean if we were really going to get married.”
“We are.” I roll my eyes but keep going.
“Then it might be convenient if work is only a few steps away. It’s not like if you lived in a house the baby would be using a yard or making friends with the kids next door anytime soon. That would be years away.”
“I suppose. It would give me time to properly train someone and delegate some of my work. I can’t keep working as much as I do. I don’t want that kind of life.” He nods in agreement.
“Archer, I would never keep this baby from you. I was going to try to find you eventually. I just didn’t know where to start, and private investigators aren’t cheap.” I almost choked when I googled how much one of them makes an hour.
I knew there was no way that I could swing it. It would be a huge hit. Especially with trying to get my other affairs in order. I felt so overwhelmed thinking about that and all the other things I needed. I debated moving back to Colorado to be closer to my parents, but I wasn’t sure how much help they would be. I still haven't even told them. The timing just always seems off for some reason.
“I was looking for you too.” His words shock me. “You just left that morning without a word.” He pushes back from his chair to stand up. His anger is clear. “I woke up and you were nowhere. It’s been months!” he shouts. I jump, taken back by how upset he is suddenly. I’m starting to think this might have been more than a hit to his ego. “Sorry.” He runs his hand through his short hair in frustration. “I’ll be back.” He turns to leave but pauses. “Please eat.” With that, he’s gone.
My heart sinks when I hear the front door close a second later. What the heck just happened? Guilt starts to weigh heavily on me. I do the one thing I can at the moment. I eat. Not only for Archer but for the baby too.
My guilt only grows as time ticks by. I clear my plate before I get up from the table. I can see without a doubt that Archer wants to be a part of this baby's life. So much so that he's willing to marry me. I need to relax and try to talk to him rationally. We both have to put the needs of the baby before anything else.
We can do this together and not be married. I’m not even opposed to living with him. Especially if he plans to continue working as much as he does. That could be beneficial to both of us for the time being. The two of us just need to step back and take our emotions out of this and think what will be best for our little one. Us co-parenting in the same space sounds like a good start.
I reach down and run my fingers across my small baby bump. I can’t help but smile. When I found out I was pregnant, I had a mix of emotions. I was scared and overwhelmed but happy too. It sounds crazy, but I liked that I had something to remember that one incredible night.
Every night since Archer and I were together, I dreamed about it. At first I welcomed the dreams. Then it started to slowly turn into a nightmare. While the dream was beautiful, I’d always wake with a loneliness deep inside of me.
I don’t think Archer understands how scary this is for me. He tempts me so badly. He makes me want to let myself fall into what he is offering me, but I know how that will end. I’ve seen that play out between my parents. The day I graduated high school, they announced they were getting divorced.