“That one,” I said, as I pointed lazily. “Reminds me of Anton’s tattoo.”
“What tattoo?”
I shifted in Gray’s arms and tilted my head to look up at him.
“The one on his chest. Over his heart? Don’t you remember it?” I asked.
“I’d never seen a tattoo on Anton,” Gray said.
“Oh. Well, it was this black tattoo in the shape of an angel. It had Russian lettering around it as well. It looked kind of like the shape of the cloud above us.”
I watched his eyes drift up to the sky, but I also watched his gaze fuzz over.
“Gray?” I asked.
“Hmm?”
“Are you okay?”
“I’m fine.”
“Are you sure?”
“Just didn’t know the old man had a tattoo. Maybe I didn’t know him as well as I thought.”
“You knew him better than anyone,” I said.
“And yet, I really didn’t. The tattoo. The fortune. All the properties he owned. I knew none of this about him. It makes me wonder if I ever knew the man at all.”
“Don’t say that, Gray. Anton loved you.”
“I’m not doubting that. I’m simply doubting the man I knew.”
Gray never did bring his eyes back to mine. In fact, he seemed to pull farther and farther away. Even as I settled my naked body against him and drew faceless pictures on his stomach, he didn’t speak unless I spoke first. He turned inward on himself. Kept his tongue quiet and his thoughts private. I knew I would say something to ruin the moment. Something to destroy it.
I always did.
My body began to itch, so I stood up and collected my clothes. I slipped the fabric over my body and grimaced at how cold it was. Such a contrast to Gray’s warm body. I dug the dirt and grass from underneath my fingernails as I slowly walked towards the blanket. We needed to pack things up so I could get back. I needed a shower. I also needed to rest before my next shift at the diner. Brad had given me a good chastising over the soda debacle, but I hadn’t lost my job yet. I was determined to prove myself an asset to the place so I could get a decent reference out of the place when I decided to leave.
Leave.
Grayson was temporary.
I had to keep reminding myself of that.
After digging the dirt out from my nails, I bent over and started packing up the picnic basket. And soon, Gray
joined me. Wet shirt and all. I guessed he went to fish it out of the creek or something. He folded up the blanket while I held the picnic basket, then we silently started toward his convertible. Not a word was spoken as he drove out of the forest and back onto the main road into Stillsville, and I chastised myself.
I shouldn’t have opened my damn mouth.
The sex had been amazing. The connection had been palpable. And even our time before our encounter was filled with smiles and good moments. Beautiful memories that could carry me for a long time. But the tension that zipped between us as we rode silently into town wasn’t the same. It was angry. Sorrowful. Forlorn.
If I didn’t know any better, I’d almost say it was regretful.
I peeked over at Gray from time to time and found him lost in his own thoughts. Only partially paying attention to the road as we soared into town. Did not knowing about a tattoo really bother him that badly? I mean, Gray and Anton were more alike than he realized. He kept his wealth hidden from me. Possibly from the entire town, judging by the way they treated him sometimes. But just because Anton hid that didn’t mean he wasn’t the man Gray loved.
Something else was going on. I just didn’t feel it was my place to ask.