Be glad he is your friend, and forget about more. You don’t need the heartache men bring.
“Thanks for today, Noah. I had fun,” she told him when he was taking her home. She had not wanted their time to end, but her eyes were burning from lack of sleep. Spending time with him only made her long for things that couldn’t be.
“Me, too. You could have stayed for dinner. I make a mean pork chop with gravy.” He had that teasing quality in his voice she remembered, not the “let’s not upset Alana” she heard from everyone else. It made her feel normal again.
Alana laughed and ruined it with a yawn. “I’m so tired. I think I can sleep now.”
He reached over and grabbed her hand. She linked their fingers together and felt a sense of contentment. She was not going to overanalyze it. She was going to enjoy it.
“I’m glad. Thank you for trusting me again, Alana. It means a lot to me. Losing you made me realize what a jerk I was being. Do you forgive me?”
“Yes, Noah,” she whispered. Even though things between them had ended in anger and pain, she understood where he was coming from. He had been hurt by someone he once loved. It was hard to trust again. Wasn’t that her current dilemma? She loved Noah, but he had broken her heart, and she had no desire to experience that again.
He pulled into her driveway and turned off the ignition. He turned toward her, and she could see his smile in the moonlight. The times they had made out in the truck when he drove her home popped into her head. Suddenly her clothes felt tight, and she rolled the window down to let the cool night air in.
“I’m glad we’re talking again, but you know what would make me happier?” His voice was ragged and deep, making her tummy tingle.
“What?” she whispered, hearing her own heartbeat thunder at the wicked gleam in his eyes. She wiggled in her seat, feeling the heat between her legs start. Her breasts felt heavy and swollen with an ache to have his hands on them.
“For you to go out on a date with me.” He interrupted her lusty thoughts.
She was so shocked she opened her mouth, but nothing came out. She cleared her throat and blinked a few times. She had not expected that.
“Why? We tried that and failed miserably. I can’t go through that again, Noah.”
Noah caressed her cheek with his palm. He brushed her hair away from her face in a gentle caress that surprised her. “You did nothing but be beautiful. I was the insecure ass. There is an attraction between us, has been for years. I was a stupid, blind fool, but those days are over. I did make a date with Cora, but I never kept it. I haven’t slept with her in years. I could have lost you, Alana. I was terrified. I couldn’t live without touching you again, without knowing how your body feels pressed against my bare skin. Or without the knowledge of knowing how it feels to hold you in my arms all night long. That knowledge guts me every day. I am appreciating every single moment we are alive because it can end in the blink of an eye.”
Alana thought she moaned at his words and the touch of his fingers exploring her skin. His hand stayed on her shoulders and neck while he talked, caressing her with light touches. She felt the fire burning hotter between her legs, and she was surprised how intense it felt. They had never made it to the bedroom before their big blowup. A few dates and a few steamy kisses were all they had. She had regretted that. He leaned forward and put his thumb on her lip. She closed her eyes as his lips touched hers, softly at first. Then she felt his tongue demanding access. She opened up to him, and the feel of his tongue exploring her mouth sent delightful shivers all through her body. Her belly quivered with excitement. Her breasts felt heavy, and she ached for him to touch them like he had in the past, but she was too shy to ask. She closed her eyes and let the desire wash over her body. It was familiar and exhilarating.
“Wow. I forgot how hot it is to kiss you,” she whispered when they pulled apart. He laughed, sounding happy.
; “Is that a yes on the date? We can take it slow. I won’t pressure you into anything you don’t want.”
She nodded, feeling dazed at his sudden turnaround. Should she trust him this time? What if he changed his mind again? She couldn’t handle any more stress right now.
“Okay, but I need slow, Noah. A date. I won’t be able to handle it if you give me hope, then snatch it away again. It hurt,” she explained, hoping he understood. Months away from him had done nothing to change how she felt about this complicated man.
He looked pained but understanding at her words. “This time I am sure of what I want, Alana. I know it will take time for you to trust me again. I’ll pick you up Friday at six. We can go to Morehead and eat. Get away from town for a while,” he suggested.
She nodded feeling excited yet nervous.
“You pack quite a punch, Alana.” He grinned. He leaned his head against hers. “I need a cold shower just from your kiss.”
She blushed, glad the truck was dark. He was used to dating older, mature women who didn’t blush. In the past she had tried to pull off sophisticated, worldly woman, and it had not worked. She still had lost him.
“I say it’s you, but thanks for the compliment.” She reached for the door handle to get out. Noah insisted on walking her to the door.
“I’ll call you,” he promised, kissing her lips in a light, barely there touch.
She felt like she was in a fog. The lights were on, and she knew at least Alicia would be home. She used her key to get in.
Her mom always waited for her dad to close before coming home. Alana had not been brave enough to work the night shift yet. She was usually out of there before the evening hit.
She leaned against the door until she heard his truck pulling out of the driveway. She waited for a minute until her breathing and heart rate returned to normal. Was he asking her out just to keep an eye on her, or was he finally serious? She didn’t want to get her hopes up too high yet. It hurt to be let down. If she kept her distance from Noah, she would regret not giving it one more chance. Hope was tough and often refused to die. She headed upstairs to her bedroom. Hopefully Alicia wouldn’t ask too many questions. She was not a big fan of Sheriff Romeo.
Chapter 12