Finding Faith (Red Hook 2)

“Really?” she replied sarcastically. “They give you no days off?”

He sighed loudly and suddenly she was angry and frustrated.

“That’s fine, Adam. Use work as an excuse. I never expected a marriage proposal after our night together, but I thought we were at least friends. Yet you snuck out without saying thanks and you ignore my calls.” Calmness went out the window when faced with the obvious fact that what she thought was a wonderful night had meant nothing for him.

“I’m calling you now,” he said in an angry voice.

“Why? To remind me you fucked me and now you never want to see me again so I should quit calling you?” How dare he sound angry. She was the injured party here, not him.

“I never made you any promises,” he spit out in a frustrated voice.

“I know that, Adam, and like I said, I wasn’t asking you for a trip to the jewelry store or an announcement in the paper, but I expected you to act like a man and not sneak out. I expected you to still speak to me as a friend and not make me feel like a cheap tramp,” she pointed out.

He muttered underneath his breath but it was too low to make any sense.

“Okay, Adam. Message received. If we see each other I am to pretend we never met. Right now I wished we hadn’t.”

She hung up and turned her phone off. She would not cry. He didn’t deserve her tears. Men were faithless jerks. When would she learn?

* * * *

Five weeks later

Adam sat on the couch, flipping through the channels. He couldn’t find anything to watch to take his mind off of Faith. He felt guilty for blowing her off after they spent that wonderful night together. He had snuck out before morning like a coward. Her words had hit him like arrows to his conscience. She had been right. He never meant to make her feel cheap. He felt guilty because that night with her had gone beyond physical need and it sent him into panic mode.

They had made love three times that night, and each time it had gotten better and better. That had scared him. He wanted to keep holding her and never let her go. He wanted to wake up next to her.

Faith wasn’t a casual hookup. He could have stuck around and talked to her. Holding her in his arms had made him feel peace and contentment. Something he hadn’t felt since Josie. A flash of Josie’s smile and short blond hair appeared in his mind. He thought of her less and less and the pain had dulled. Then guilt hit him and he felt like he was betraying her by longing for more with Faith.

He had ignored Faith’s phone calls but he felt horrible. Then he called her with that lame excuse, saying he was busy with work. He heard the pain in her voice. She knew he was making excuses to not see her again, and he felt like a low-down snake.

He admitted it, if only to himself, Faith made it hard for him to hang on to his loyalty to Josie. He had sex, but it never got him emotionally involved. It satisfied a physical need and then it was over. With Faith it wasn’t like that. He wanted more.

Today was Thanksgiving. He had spent it with Alana and Noah at their new house. All of the Garcias had been there too, along with him and Liam. It had been loud and crazy but so much fun. Usually he worked, and so did Noah and Liam. There hadn’t been much reason to celebrate holidays in the past.

Alana had asked about Faith and he told her it hadn’t worked out. He saw Alana’s disappointed expression and he had quickly changed the subject. All he did was think of Faith and their night together. He picked up the phone every day to call her and apologize for his callous attitude but hung up before it rang. What could he say? “Forgive me for being a coward.” He could explain about Josie and his fears. Faith had a gentle heart and might forgive him. Did he want to be forgiven? Memories didn’t keep you warm at night. Memories didn’t give you someone to talk to or spend time with. He existed, but was he living a full life? No. The answer came right away. How many times had he lectured Noah to make up with Alana before it was too late? And it had almost been too late. Wasn’t he guilty of the same thing? He liked Faith. Not just because she was beautiful to look at, but she was fun and she made him feel happy. She was independent and determined to succeed on her own. She made him smile and feel glad to be alive. Maybe he should talk to her and at least explain his fears.

He turned the TV off and grabbed his truck keys. He jumped i

n his truck and drove to her neighborhood. He was disappointed when he saw her house shrouded in darkness. She had mentioned she hardly ever spoke to her mother, so where did they spend Thanksgiving? He hated the thought of them being lonely. He should have acted like a man and swallowed his panic. He could have invited her to his brother’s house. He sighed and headed home alone.

* * * *

Faith and Holly decided to spend the holiday weekend in Austin, away from Red Hook. It had been hard on Faith to not go and look for Adam. She had been hurt by his rejection. She knew he was a playboy but she never expected him to be so cold about it. He never even came by the shop anymore. She wanted to rant and scream at him, but she had to take the blame too. Hadn’t Holly told her he liked casual good-time girls only? She should have said no to a date, no to him going home with her. She had been too weak to resist him and now she was paying the price.

They stopped by and saw their mom. She had been so surprised since they hardly ever spoke these days. A phone call on Christmas and birthdays was it. She had burst into tears. They treated her to dinner and for once she was sober. She admitted she met someone special. A man who was helping her stay sober.

“I joined AA. It’s been six months and it is hard, I won’t lie, but so far so good. I didn’t want to tell you girls until I reached one year. I know how many times I promised to quit and never did. This time I’m trying hard,” she said proudly across the table. Her red hair, like Faith’s, had strands of gray going through it, but she looked healthy and she had gained weight. She lost the scrawny, unhealthy look Faith remembered her by. She was dressed casually but nice. “Ted goes with me and is very supportive. I have a job at a grocery store and it keeps me busy. I have picked up the phone to tell you girls, but I was so afraid I would mess up.”

Faith had reached out and grabbed her mother’s hand. She had learned long ago to let go of her anger toward her mother. “That’s great, Mom. I am so proud of you. You look great.”

“Thanks.” She had given both girls a teary smile. “I have been a terrible mother and I owe you both an apology. I was selfish and lost in my own misery and bitterness when your father left us. Instead of concentrating on the two daughters I still had, I was lost in the past. It wasn’t fair to you two.”

“That’s all in the past,” Holly assured her. She looked emotional too, and Faith knew Holly hated to cry. Holly didn’t like getting into emotional scenes. “Faith and I are fine in Red Hook. We are happy with our lives. I’m glad you have Ted and are happy now. I knew you drank because you were lonely without Dad.”

They caught her up on what they were doing. Holly explained she was bartending at night but also going to nursing school in the daytime. Faith told her all about her coffee shop. They had spent a few hours together and parted ways with a promise to keep in touch more. Their mom invited them for Christmas and the girls promised to think about it.

Faith lay in her bed at the hotel. Holly was flipping through the TV channels.